The Ugly Duckling
by daogirl
Summary: Bella never jumped, Edward never returned - but Victoria did. Not even the intervention of the wolf-pack stopped her from attacking Bella. Now entering her first year of college, Bella has some major decisions to make about her life. This fic is also posted on Twilighted, but will probably be updated here first!
1. Beginnings

Chapter 1: Beginnings

I looked out from my dorm room window, opening it as wide as possible to let in what little cross-breeze was available. The air was still suffused with the last vestiges of summer - enough to make moving in a hot and tiresome process. Well, for the humans, anyway. I was at least spared from being trapped within my tiny single by a thin but increasing layer of clouds that promised rain. I had no where to go, though, so I sat on my newly-made bed, with its familiar quilt, and watched the other freshmen scurry about outside in a mixture of excitement for their impending freedom, annoyance at the continued presence of their parents, and a dawning awareness of a little bit of separation anxiety. Charlie had not come with me to Dartmouth - ever since the "don't ask, don't tell" stage of our relationship, my interactions with him had been sparse at best. He was more than happy to let me go east by myself - his cursory statements of concern easily overruled (with poorly hidden relief) by my insistence on being capable of going alone. _You can't leave the police-force short hande_d, I'd argued, _I'll be fine, I promise_. Renee had been more difficult, but fortuitous timing meant that Phil was returning after a long stint on the road, and I knew she'd be just as anxious to see him, and more willing to accept my lame excuses.

Being around all these new humans, though, was a bit of a challenge. I was under control, thirst-wise, but temptation would always be present to some degree. This must have been how Edward felt every time he started high-school, I thought, then quickly banished it. I can't believe it's only been a year. Nothing had turned out like I thought it would - although in a weird way I had gotten many of the things I wanted. Just not the way I wanted.

There was a knock at my door. "It's unlocked," I said, "Come in." A tall girl with hair darker and longer than my own came part-way into the room, and then unconsciously took a step back. Isn't that always the way, I thought wryly to myself.

"Hi, I'm Jennifer - I'm your Resident Advisor. You're Isabella, right? I hope you're getting settled in ok - well, it looks like you are. Anyway, I just came in to let you know that we're going to have a get-to-know you party tonight at 8pm in my room with the rest of the RA group. I live just down the hall." The words tumbled out in a single stream as her eyes were locked, unblinking, on my face.

"Excellent," I chimed. I could see her eyes widen a little at the sound of my voice. "And I go by Bella."

"Uh, great, uh, Bella - see you tonight." She was gone before I could make a reply.

I turned my eyes back to the window. Oh Edward, I thought sadly, I wish you were here. I tried to squash that line of thinking before it carried me away, but being in this new situation reminded me of those first few days in Forks, and all that had happened since. It was all going so well - until my 18th birthday. I hadn't fully comprehended at the time the chain of events that would cascade from a simple paper cut. The irony was not lost on me that of all my clumsy behaviors, it was the simplest, most common thing that had been the thread to unravel my life. Leading, of course, to Edward leaving me, pulling his whole family along (Alice! I miss you!) in his wake. A familiar ache began to build in my chest. Apparently becoming immortal didn't mean you couldn't feel like you were going to die. Before the pain became rending, crushing, I tried to latch on to something better. Jake. Someone who against all odds - and custom/tradition/nature, you name it - had stuck by my side.

Like I said, ironic. After Edward left, I was a wreck - not sleeping, not eating, not feeling. A zombie, for all intents and purposes. Jake was the one to pull me at least part of the way out of that hole, although I was only a fractured, translucent version of my old self. These human memories should be fuzzy, I thought, but I had obsessed over them so much that they were ingrained in me - maybe even sharper now than they were then. During that time, I had been, at best, managing.

Then Victoria returned.

The wolves noticed her first, of course, although they didn't know what to make of her until I told them about the conversation that I had with Laurent - before they saved me from him. From then on, I was under guard, even at school and at night. The wolf pack watched my house, they watched Charlie. I spent a lot of time in La Push, hanging out in Jacob's garage, or walking along First Beach, or visiting with Emily. She and I had become friends, although it was nowhere near the connection I had felt with Alice. I sighed.

Everything was fine - well, fine enough - until Harry Clearwater's funeral, about a week after graduation. Most of the pack went, but I had been sick, so I stayed home. I don't think I could have been around that much concentrated grief at the time, anyway. Seth was running patrol by himself. I was on the reservation, so no one was particularly worried. They weren't far away, in any case. Somehow, though, Victoria knew. For all I know, she had a hand in Harry's death ... it's still hard to unravel exactly how far back her plans had begun. She had left a trail on the far end of the reservation, old enough that it didn't imply she was in the immediate vicinity - so, of course, no need to panic - but new enough to be worth tracking. So, Seth tracked it, as it led him farther and farther from the Black household, where I was napping on the couch. I awoke to being pulled off the couch by my hair, hanging and staring at Victoria straight in the face. Adrenaline had shot through my body - I remembered what Laurent had said about Victoria wanting to torture me. She stared at me for a long moment, no emotion on her face, before flinging me against the opposite wall. I brought the TV set down upon myself when I landed. I also heard the crack of my collarbone breaking. Still, I made no sound. I thought I would be panicking - and maybe I was in shock - but a part of me thought, well, ok, this is it. I can finally be done with this. It was almost a relief.

"Well now," Victoria said, in a conversational tone, "it is unfortunate that your vampires are gone, but I'll be sure to let them know what happened here. Don't worry - I'm not going to videotape this - I want to focus completely. on. you." She sauntered over, and ran a finger down my arm, where the glass from the shattered TV screen had cut it. She slowly put the finger in her mouth, making a low moaning noise. Some of the wildness I remembered from the baseball field returned to her face. Then she smiled at me, a harsh rictus. "I know what will make you hurt," she hissed. And before I could even process her statement, she was kneeling before me, pulling my hand into hers, entwining our fingers, and staring into my eyes as she brought our entwined hands up between our faces. And then she bit my wrist. I felt the slow burn begin, a flame getting hotter and hotter, until my hand was incandescent with pain. I screamed, I think - it was impossible not to. But she seemed disappointed by my overall lack of reaction. She grabbed my other hand, and pulled it up inbetween us, and paused when she saw the silverly outlines of an older bite mark. I saw fury, then, behind her mask of control. I had a brief coherent thought at that moment. In a weird way, I understood her - I felt that same sense of loss, only I had no one to focus it on. "I'm sorry," I whispered. She did not meet my gaze, but instead viciously bit my other hand, aligning her bite to match James's. I don't remember much clearly after that, but I know there was a crashing noise, and shouting, and I sensed that Victoria was gone.

"BELLA!" A voice bellowed. From under a haze of pain, I recognized Jacob's frantic tone. "Shit, shit, shit, shit!" I heard him shout over and over. I was having trouble holding on to conscious thought - the pain had started migrating up my arms. "Get her over to Emily's!" was the last thing I remember hearing - and then the fire burned me to ash.


	2. Acquaintances

Chapter 2: Acquaintances

My reverie was momentarily broken by noises outside my door. I could hear what sounded like two boys approaching, arguing.

_"Dude, come ON. I do NOT want to wade through eight million freshman to get my textbooks." _

_"Hang on for a sec, Matt. I've gotta see this - Pete says she's super-hot. And there can't be that many smart, super-hot girls, so I'm going to introduce myself. You know, offer to show her around and stuff, and see if she wants to go to the party." _

I heard an exasperated sigh, and then there was a knock on the door.

"It's open!"

The door opened to reveal two boys, whose eyes widened in sudden surprise as they saw me. They were both tall, although one was blond, and the other had hair that was a shade of bronze I had only seen on one other person. My heart lurched forward, then plummeted as I realized that I knew neither of them. The blond one in front started to speak.

"Hi, I - uh, we - just wanted to stop in and say hello. I'm Chris, and this is Matt - we live downstairs. You're Isabella, right? Uh, I - uh, we - realize that you probably don't know a whole lot of people here yet, so we wanted to invite you to a party that a friend is throwing tonight ... " His voice trailed off as his initial appraising glance moved upwards, and we locked eyes. Instinctively, I think, he went very still.

The breeze caused by the open door wafted their scents toward me. I had been very careful, very conscientious about feeding steadily, but that did not stop them from smelling very, very ... delicious. _Get a grip, Bella! This is only your first day. _I took in one last breath, so I would be able to speak, and then held it, although I was careful to still move my chest so it looked like I was breathing.

I felt like a snake charmer - although I guess technically I had more in common with the snake. I still was not used to the effect I had on regular humans ... the wolves were immune to, or at least they chose to ignore, my more predatory attributes. I remembered, though, how mesmerized I had felt around Edward, and how dangerous he had always insisted he was. I let out a small sigh that I doubt either of them heard. I smiled and tried to look unassuming.

"Wow, thanks - I go by Bella, actually. Ah, you know, I totally promised my boyfriend that I'd call him tonight - I think he already insanely misses me. So, I think I'm just going to hang in. But thanks for inviting me, maybe some other time?" As I watched increasing discomfort manifest in Chris's body position, I figured I would give them an out.

A small measure of relief flickered across Chris's face, which had been rapidly turning whiter and whiter. Matt, however, still looked relatively unaffected, and even took a step forward. "Well, that's really too bad - if you change your mind, we're heading out around ten - just come knock on our door - it's number 106, and you're still welcome to join us. No pressure, though." As Matt spoke, I could see Chris's hand tighten on the doorknob.

_Interesting_, I thought. _Maybe I can actually do this college thing ... I probably still won't have friends, but I could have an ... acquaintance or two._ It was definitely more than I had expected, or even hoped for. I took a small breath, and was assaulted again with waves of thirst. "Thanks. I'll, uh, see how things go."

Matt smiled at me. "Great ... well, hope to see you tonight." The door shut behind them, and I instantly felt a backwash of pain. Apparently all it took was the color of someone's hair to make me forget exactly how much of a danger I still was to other people. And inwardly I cringed as I realized how much Edward was still woven into the fabric of my life, even subconsciously.

_I probably _should _call Jake tonight_. He wasn't my boyfriend, although I knew, even now, he would take the attribution willingly. I missed my wolves, though - this was the most alone I had ever felt._ I have to be the weirdest vampire ever. Still a newborn, but in college, surrounded by hundreds of unsupervised, not-yet street smart kids - but it's all okay because I'm a vegetarian that was raised by wolves! _I laughed bitterly to myself. _At least it has worked out so far _(I would _not _acknowledge the gaping hole in my chest that was screaming in contradiction - that nothing had, in reality, actually worked out),_ if in the most bizarrely non-sensical way ever._ I was lucky - I knew that I pretty much owed my continued existence to Jake, who had held everything together during my transformation, and had, almost by sheer force of will, integrated me into the pack.

...

I started to hear noises around me - I kept disappearing under waves of pain, but the moments of lucidity were getting longer and longer. My first conscious thought was not even a thought at all - it was a feeling of shock. Victoria had bitten me! And this time there had been no Edward to suck out the venom. No Carlisle to hold my hand and tell me everything was going to be all right.

"She looks ... different," I heard a female voice say.

"Em, you need to get out of here," a male voice responded. "I'm not sure how long this process takes, but it looks like it's close to finished, and I only want the pack around her when she wakes up."

"I know - this is my last bag I'm taking to the car. I'll call you from Sarah's when I get there."

"I love you, Em."

"Love you, too." After a moment I thought I could hear the slam of a car door in the distance, and the rumble of an engine coming to life.

My thoughts flashed inward again. _She BIT me! _All the ramifications of this statement began to crash around me. _I'm becoming a vampire ... wait, maybe I already am a vampire._ I had always wanted to be one, to be strong and beautiful, worthy of the attentions of someone like Edward. _Edward should be here. The Cullens are supposed to BE here._ I felt the stirrings of anger, of grief.

Someone cleared their throat. I heard the broken tones of a younger male voice, "Jake, I'm so ... sorry. This is all my fault - I didn't realize what was going on until it was too late. If you guys hadn't crossed her scent coming back from the funeral ..."

"Look, Seth - it's _not _your fault. Your dad just died, and we knew that you wanted to run patrol because you needed to _do _something, to find a distraction. We _knew _that. We put too much trust into Bella simply being on the rez for safety ... and we are all responsible for this and what comes after. But don't ever think this was your fault - that honor fully belongs to that stupid, filthy bloodsucker."

I fleetingly wondered if he meant Victoria or Edward.

"What does come after?" Seth whispered.

Jacob paused. "I don't know - but I think we're about to find out."

I had been so focused on their conversation, amazed that I could keep my concentration for so long, that it took me a moment to notice the fire raging through my body was almost gone - I realized it in time to feel my heart stutter one final time and stop. I must've made a noise, because all the talking around me suddenly ceased. The silence was deafening.

I opened my eyes ... and the world was staggeringly beautiful. Just staring up at the wooden ceiling beams, I was amazed at the millions of colors and intricacies of texture weaving through the gnarled pine, the sparkling of the dust motes as they danced on unfelt breezes.

"Bella? Can you hear me?"

I sat up, moving forward so fast that I almost fell on the floor, although I paradoxically had plenty of time to catch myself and regain my balance. I instinctively took a deep breath - and was instantly on alert, jumping down into a defensive crouch, scanning for danger. I was fully surrounded by the giant forms of six wolves ... and at the same time, I noticed that I had apparently, until a moment ago, been lying on the kitchen table, although it had been moved into the living room. The wolves around me were tense, but motionless and silent. Only one human remained unphased.

"Bells? Bella? Come on, say something!" Jake pleaded with me, although he had not moved one step toward me. To his credit, he hadn't moved away either.

"Jake ... " I broke off, marvelling at the dulcet tones of my voice. "Why is the kitchen table in the living room?" The silence was punctuated by a coughing bark from one of the smaller wolves that sounded remarkably like laughter.

Jacob looked at me like I had started speaking Chinese. "Bella?" he said again slowly, questioningly.

"What, Jake?" Again, the pealing of bells.

Jacob's eyes were cautious, but his stance remained remarkably relaxed. "Are you ... er ...what are ... er ... how are you feeling?"

As soon as I processed the question, I was instantly overwhelmed by competing sensations - the cool, stagnant taste of the air, the well-worn softness of the shirt I was wearing, the way errant strands of hair were tickling the side of my face. And the fire-y parchedness building at the back of my throat. "I'm not sure yet ... but it's not ... bad." I couldn't speak for very long without becoming overwhelmed by the sound of my own voice.

"Good - we were so worried. No one has ever seen this happen before, so we weren't sure if what was going on was, ah, right," he stumbled for a moment, "but you look" - his face twisted slightly - "... fine."

My uncertainty in response to the emotions flickering across Jacob's face was quickly displaced by recalling the last events that I remembered, before that terrible fire had taken me over. "What happened to Victoria?"

Anger flashed in Jacob's eyes. "As soon as she saw we were there and she was severely outnumbered, she took off like a bolt of lightning. A couple members of the pack gave chase - but she was gone. The rest of us were more focused on you." His voice broke. "I'm so sorry, Bella - we failed you."

I was not ready to deal with all of the turbulent emotions swelling in my chest - not ready to process everything that had happened over the last three days. So, I decided on a change of tack - _better to focus on the practical_, I thought. "Why am I surrounded by wolves? Am I dangerous? I don't feel dangerous ... I think."

"Precaution - Sam's call. I told him if anyone could avoid going on a murderous rampage the moment they awoke - it would be you." Jacob said with a grim smile.

"Murderous rampage? But I ... oh," And with that thought, a wave of burning thirst overtook me. The wolves, seeing my unconscious reaction, tensed. I scrambled to regain control, trying to focus completely on Jacob's face ... and I realized that the wolves, including Jacob in human form, smelled pretty ... unappetizing. "I'm ok ... I think."

"You guys can stand down," Jake said, although he did not take his eyes away from my face. The wolves relaxed marginally, but still did not move, except for the smallest one, who yawned loudly and sat down.

"Don't go far, though," I added in a somewhat fearful voice. Jacob's gaze turned apprehensive. "Well, what if I am dangerous, but don't know it yet?"

His shoulders relaxed slightly and he rolled his eyes at me. "Only you, Bells."

...

From that point on, the wolves adopted me, in a sense. They had apparently decided not to kill me as I was undergoing my transformation, persuaded by a belligerent Jacob, a guilty Seth, and a nagging sense that they all might bear some responsibility for my condition. The legacy of the Cullens also meant they knew it was possible for a vampire to exist without killing people. Apparently, I was dangerous, but manageable.

All in all, it could have been a lot worse. I had no vampires to guide me, but the wolves were with me all the time, guiding and refining my hunting skills until I intimately knew all the forest around Forks within a 100 mile radius, and could kill easily and efficiently. We often worked in tandem, especially in the beginning, with the wolves running ahead to flush out prey in my direction. I also knew they were scouting for any people that might find themselves in the line of fire, and, although it remained unspoken, I was deeply grateful. My worst nightmare at this point would have been hurting or killing someone that I knew, that I cared about.

It was inevitable, though, that I would run across some unlucky person eventually. The first time I had scented a human while hunting had been the most tense moment, but a few growls and nips at my arms and legs from Jake and Seth had been enough for me to break my fixation, stop breathing, and run in the other direction.

I was hesitant to admit it, but after awhile, the long hunts in the woods, running side-by-side with members of the pack, was almost ... fun. At least, as close to fun as I was able to experience. After those first bewildering hours, I had begun to feel more like myself - which meant the return of the aching hole in my chest. I think it actually hurt worse, as my heightened senses let tidal waves of despair and grief pour over me. Jacob had been sitting with me when it happened - at first he was confused, not sure if I was still experiencing some residual pain from the transformation, or some other new vampire sensation. Something about my body position, though - the way I curled my arms around my knees and rocked back and forth - triggered a sense of the familiar, and he was the first person to touch me, to wrap his blazingly-hot arms around my chilled, hard skin, to hold me like he had done so many times, awkwardly stroking my hair.

That first night, after most of the wolves were sleeping, I was able to reflect with perfect clarity on what had just transpired, and taste the bitter irony of my position. Edward would now never be the one to change me ... or even Carlisle, or Alice. Although I was now what I thought I had wanted to be, Victoria had stolen what should have been the graduation from my old life to my new eternity with those that I loved. I felt violated in the worst way ... and angry beyond belief.


	3. Conversations

Chapter 3: Conversations

One of my first thoughts after my change was that I could go find the Cullens - now that I was no longer a liability. Almost as swiftly on the heels of that thought was the painful recollection of Edward's outright rejection. _He doesn't want me_ _... so, what's the point?_

_And so, here I am_, I thought. _Passing the first of many, many years alone._ My sole comfort was that Jake had confided in me that the wolves did not age as quickly as normal humans, so I would at least have him around for awhile. _You're stuck with me, Bells_, were his exact words, giving me the human version of his wolfy grin. I wouldn't be able to return to Forks after a certain period of time, though - at least, not while Charlie was still living - unless I wanted to have some really uncomfortable conversations.

As evening progressed, I decided not to go to the party - I was doing fine around the humans, but I wasn't ready to tempt fate. Maybe I could try after a little while, once I was more used to their scent. Edward had always said that it was easier to be around me the longer he was exposed to me, so I hoped that this would work the same way. Even though the comment about calling my boyfriend had just been an excuse, I decided to go ahead and call Jacob anyway. It was now pretty late, but I knew, especially with the time change, that Jacob would still be up.

He answered on the first ring, in fact. "Heeey, Bells! How's my little genius doing?"

"Shut up, Jake - I'm still waiting for someone to knock on my door and tell me this whole thing is just an elaborate prank."

"Well, at least you know that you'll have plenty of time to study and play catch-up."

"Yeah, vampirism - waaay better than coffee as a study-aid," I drawled sarcastically.

"How are you doing, though? I haven't seen anything on the news about a Dartmouth massacre, so I'm assuming you're doing fine, or else you've gotten really good at hiding bodies."

"Jake!"

"Seriously, though - you OK?"

"So far so good ... 24 hours down, only, what - an infinite number of hours to go?"

"Well, I could come and visit - I could bring Quil and Embry! They already miss you. We could go for some runs in the woods up there ... and to some sorority parties!" he finished enthusiastically.

"Um, I appreciate the offer, but I'm trying to blend in, and I'm not sure how adding some 7 foot tall Quileute boys into the mix would help." Inwardly, though, I wished that they would come - I was surprised to discover that I longed for anything familiar. "Maybe in a little while, though." I added, "I _have _been telling the boys here that I have a clingy boyfriend."

Jacob chuckled. "Clingy boyfriend ... well, I would have to wear noseplugs, but I think I could pull it off."

"Har, har. How are things in Forks, though? I know I haven't been gone that long ..."

Jacob's voice became guarded, "Things are fine here! Nothing new to report, really. Quil ate about 30 hotdogs at the bonfire tonight, but that's nothing new."

I heard the change in his voice and was instantly on alert. "Ah, Jake - you know I have perfect hearing - better than perfect, actually - right? So, I know there's something you're not telling me. Spit it out!"

"No, nothing going on - nothing to worry about at least. Charlie's fine, Billy's fine."

"You know how I used to be a bad liar? -"

"Used to be?" Jacob broke in.

"Ok, well, I'm not as bad as I used to be! Wait! Stop trying to sidetrack me ... Anyway, now that I can _really _hear your voice, I know when you're lying. And you're lying now. Like I said before, spit it out."

Jacob paused for a moment, then sighed. "Okay, but you have to promise first - you won't do anything after I tell you."

This was sounding worse and worse. "Fine," I snapped. _Like you could really stop me if I wanted to._

"Well, for the past week or so, we've been finding traces of vampire."

"And I assume they aren't from me, if this is some big secret."

"Hey, hey - you ARE a genius!"

"Shut up, Jake. Continue."

"Well, they aren't from you ... but they aren't unfamiliar either."

I felt suddenly lightheaded ... _They came back! Somehow, they heard what happened to me, and they came back!_ My brain shouted. And then I realized with growing dread who the more likely culprit was.

"Victoria's back." I said flatly.

"We think so."

My mind started racing. "I have to come home, Jake," I said frantically. "She's probably trying to figure out what happened to me, and once she realizes I'm not in her reach, she'll go after Charlie!"

"We're on it, Bells. We have someone at your house 24/7, and someone who trails Charlie during the day. We aren't going to mess this up twice."

"Plus, she's mine," I growled. I was a little surprised at the amount of hatred welling up in my chest.

"I know." Jacob replied quietly. I was glad he understood what I was feeling ... so different than Edward, who I'm sure even now would try and protect me from anything bad happening. "Don't worry," he continued, "everyone agrees that she is your kill - but I'm not sure that this is really the best time for that. She's too close to Forks. I think we should go after her when she's farther away, to minimize the collateral damage. Wilderness would be best. For now, we'll just chase her off. We've never tried tracking her far once she's left the area, but I might do some recon this time. As long as we don't spook her into the water, it should be easy." I could hear the excitement in his voice as he continued, "Once we know where she's holing up - because I don't think she'll actually leave until something happens with you - we can go in and get her."

"Wait - we? This is a group hunting party?"

"Not a group - just you and me ... and maybe Seth. He still feels so guilty about what happened to you, I think that helping you out with this would take a big weight off his shoulders."

"I think I should do this alone, Jake. You guys are flesh-and-blood - she might hurt you! I would never forgive myself. I can't lose you!" I hoped he didn't hear the note of desperation that flavored those last few words.

Jacob laughed, "Seriously, Bella. No offense, but we're made for killing vampires - it's the reason for our existence, remember? Besides, exactly how many vampires have you fought? There's going to have to be some strategy involved, at least. It'll be just like hunting in the woods - fun."

I wanted to argue with him, but I could see the logic of it. He was right - I had never fought a vampire. I had never really fought anyone, actually. Plus, I trusted Jake to stay out of the way once it was time.

"OK." I said. "When are we doing this?"

"When's your next break from school?" Jacob replied.

"What? I thought this was going to happen soon! I'm not done until the first week or so of December."

"That'll be perfect. You can't just jump on a plane and ditch school for this - who knows how long it'll take. Plus, you can always tell Charlie and Renee you're going skiing or something, so they won't think it's strange you've just disappeared. You've told me how crazy Renee gets when she doesn't hear from you."

"True, but if I tell her I'm going skiing - she's going to worry even more. I mean, can you imagine me on skis? Or, I guess, could you have imagined me on skis? Renee knows that I'm dangerous enough in sneakers."

"Well, snowshoeing, then." Jacob laughed. "Come on - you're in New Hampshire? There has to be some sort of appropriately woodsy winter activity that'll pass muster with Renee."

"Fine. Ugh. December."

"Think of it as an early Christmas present."

In the background, I heard the sound of a truck engine approach, and faint laughter.

"Listen, Jake - I think I hear Billy ... you better go. Call me again soon, k?" Even though the wolf pack had adopted me in a way, the tribal elders had not been so thrilled with my presence, to say the least. I think it was really Billy's longstanding friendship with Charlie that had kept him from outing me or doing anything that would ultimately hurt Charlie. But when I could, I tried to minimize the strain between Billy and Jacob.

"Creepy, Bells. Even I didn't hear them until just this second."

"Maybe you're starting to go deaf in your old age, huh?"

"Funny, funny. Who knew vampires were such comedians? I'll call you as soon as I can."

"Bye, Jake."

"See ya, Bella."

When Jacob hung up, my heart wrenched a little. Although I would never really feel the same about him as I did about Edward, he was still my best friend. And being in this strange place with all of these new people, I missed him more than ever. The news of Victoria, though, was exciting. _Finally_, I thought, _something to really look forward to._

...

A few hours later, there was a knock on my door.

I had been laying on the bed, totally immersed in daydreams about the thousands of ways I would like to kill Victoria. Before I even got up, I heard a quiet voice on the other side of the door.

"Bella? Are you still up?"

I recognized the voice from earlier. _Matt, hmmm ... interesting._ I turned the lock, opening the door and moving back in the same moment.

Matt's head peeked around the doorframe. "Hey, I hope I'm not bothering you or anything."

"No, not at all - I was just listening to music. How was that, ah, party?"

He stepped further into the room. "Oh, ok I guess. There were a lot of people there that I hadn't gotten a chance to see since coming back. It's actually still going on, but I thought it would be more fun to talk to someone new."

He was still a good distance away from me, as I had moved back by the window when he came in. I could smell alcohol, though, laced on top of his otherwise enticing scent. "Oh yeah? So, that meant, um, coming back to talk to me?"

He blushed a little. It was more appealing than I thought it should be - and in all the wrong ways. "Well, yeah, I hope you don't mind. I saw your light was still on, so I figured you were still up."

_Oh, I'm definitely still up. _"Oh, uh, sure ... um, do you want to sit?" I gestured to the chair at my desk, which was luckily on the far wall from where I sat on the bed.

"Thanks. So, how's the boyfriend? He has to be bummed you're out here, and he's ... er, where are you from?" The light glinting off of Matt's bronze hair was sending lances of pain through my chest. _Don't be so pathetic, Bella ... you can't let yourself get so upset over_ _hair!_ I took a deep breath to calm myself, and was subsequently overwhelmed with Matt's almost-irresistible scent. _Uh, that was a mistake. _Thankfully this all took place over a few milliseconds, or else Matt might've started wondering if I actually just escaped from the loony bin. I mentally steeled myself, simultaneously trying to look more relaxed.

"Washington State."

"Oh, Seattle? I went there once - saw the Space Needle, the original Starbucks. It was pretty cool."

"Yeah, uh, Seattle is nice. I'm from a tiny town called Forks, though - on the Olympic Peninsula. It's kinda in the sticks."

"Forks? As in ..." I could tell he was trying not to laugh.

"Knives and spoons? Yeah." I smiled.

"What made you want to come all the way out here for school? Trying to get as far away from the family as possible?"

_No, just being pathologically unable to subconsciously let go of my vampire ex-boyfriend._ I'm not sure what expression flitted across my face, because he hastily added, "I mean, that's what I was thinking ... I'm from California."

"Oh really? What part?" Although I wasn't sure if having this conversation was a good idea, Matt seemed really nice, and was definitely the first human to really appear comfortable around me. I hadn't realized how lonely I already felt without the wolves or Charlie around._ Or without the Cullens around, _my brain slipped in. I mentally smacked myself. _I can do this_, I thought, _and I am NOT going to be all weird like Edward was when we first met. I better get used to being "normal" anyway, since it's either that or hiding under a rock somewhere for the rest of my existence._

"San Diego ... I was, uh, tired of all the sun and perfect weather, you know?" he commented wryly.

"Hey, I'm with ya. I moved to Forks from Phoenix, Arizona. Coming here is actually kind of nice, in comparison." _And I can't ever really live somewhere sunny again, so I might as well get used to this_, I mentally added.

"Oh, it's nice now, but just wait until mid-February, and then tell me that again."

"Sure, sure."

"I'm telling you, you'll see." Matt regarded me with a bemused expression on his face. "In fact, I'm willing to bet that you won't be able to make it through February without complaining."

"Oh yeah? And what's the bet?" I smiled again. It was nice having a regular, normal conversation that didn't involve vampires or werewolves, or actively trying to avoid speaking about vampires or werewolves. However, Matt's scent, which had been bearable at first, was really beginning to fill the room. _Time to go_, I thought, _and I need to hunt_.

"Um ..." he paused nervously, although it was a different sort of nervousness than most people had around me, "one dinner with me."

_And what if you end up as dinner?_ I thought wryly. But I did remember that first dinner date with Edward, and that had gone okay.

"Fine - you have a deal." I smiled easily, noticing that I was tapping my foot along to the rhythm of Matt's heartbeat. My fleeting moment of normality was apparently slipping quickly through my fingers. I shifted uncomfortably, realizing I was going to have to stop breathing in a minute if he stayed any longer. _Bella, if you eat your first friend here, you'll be scarred for life,_ I reminded myself, although quickly on the heels of that, I thought, _Wait, you consider him a friend?_

I yawned dramatically, taking care to not actually inhale. "Oh, wow, I think I'm more tired than I realized - I better get some sleep. Thanks for stopping by, Matt." I looked at him expectantly.

Well, maybe I wasn't being as suave as I should be, since he looked a little surprised at my sudden dismissal. "Oh ... uh, sure, well, maybe I'll see you tomorrow." He got up and moved to the door. "'Night."

As the door shut, I felt unexpectedly lighthearted, although I knew this could never - would never go beyond the "casual friend" stage. Besides all the practical reasons, there was still one tiny sliver of my heart that held out hope I would see Edward again. With all the time in the world, I guess it was more than likely I would run across him at some point ... someday. _It could be lifetimes from now, though_, I rationalized, _there's no reason I need to be in self-imposed exile from other people_. I briefly thought of Carlisle, and how he had managed to not only integrate himself into regular society, but make himself an essential and beneficial part of it. I just had to find the right place for myself. _Where's the _Vampirism for Dummies _guide when I need it?_ I thought sardonically.

I waited until I could hear that Matt was in his room. I turned off all the lights, realizing that in this kind of residential college community, having a light on late at night really was an invitation for someone to knock on the door. I slipped into my favorite pair of old sneakers, dark jeans, and a dark t-shirt, since even though it was late, there was always the chance of running across someone - and I wasn't the most fastidious hunter yet.

I eased out of the dorm and walked until I was no longer illuminated by outdoor lighting. Then I took off at a slow jog, slowly increasing my speed until I hit the tree line, at which point I released all pretense of being human, and just enjoyed the sheer exhilaration of flying through the inky forest. The wind across my face was cooling, and I could feel the residual dampness held in by the blanket of boughs above. Moonlight slanted in intermittently, giving the texture of the treebark an unearthly glow. I could hear something moving loudly through the trees somewhere up on the right. _Deer? No, it's too loud ... must be a moose. Wow - a moose!_ I subtly adjusted my trajectory and sprinted forward, staying upwind and slowing carefully when I knew I must be within its hearing distance.

Sure enough, a large bull moose was grazing in a clearing. It was possibly the biggest forest creature I had seen yet - excepting the wolves, of course. _Still, that thing could give Jake a run for his money_, I thought. Its antlers were enormous, falling apart like massive jaws that slanted ponderously down its head. As it moved, I saw that its shaggy coat covered a colossal musculature, indicating an intimidating amount of sheer power. I stayed very still, watching as it slowly raised its head to look around. The moonlight glinted off its antlers, and I could see bright pinpricks of light reflected in the sloe-eyed gaze that calmly regarded me. Even though I knew that I could ultimately win the fight, I backed away slowly. There was something magical about the moment that I didn't want to spoil with violence. _Deer it is_, I sighed, and took off into the night.


	4. Discoveries

Chapter 4: Discoveries

The fall quarter was going better than anticipated. I had been worried, understandably, about how I was going to get to class on sunny days, but I felt that I had come up with some workable solutions. My current plan was arriving at the buildings as soon as they opened in the morning, well before other students were really up and about. I also knew the location of every covered walkway and every shade-bearing tree, and wore a baseball cap when I had to. I also found that using a little bit of makeup helped take off some of the unnatural sheen that still reflected in the shade. So far, so good.

Today was a slightly sunny day in mid-October, so, once again, I was planning to spend the day indoors. I often spent time in the library, reading, studying, or surfing the 'net, but today I decided to start on an assignment for my Art 101 survey class, and go analyze a painting in the Hood Art Museum.

The rules for the assignment were pretty loose - it was supposed to be a five-page analysis of a work of European Art from the Renaissance or Baroque eras. Having little experience with art, and no idea of where to start, I figured a day at the museum would be the best way to find something that looked interesting to me. When I arrived, I was pleasantly surprised at the calming, welcoming atmosphere within the galleries - it was quiet, private, and the walls were not white, but darker, muted shades of green and blue, making the place feel much more like an old European house than a public gallery. I wandered through the permanent collection galleries, feeling slightly overwhelmed at the depth and breadth of works that I had to choose from.

I was moving down a wall of Baroque paintings - a couple of small Rubens, a Velázquez, both of whose names I recognized from the week's lecture, and turned to go into the next room. And then I stopped, open-mouthed in shock.

Right next to a doorway, on its own wall, in a heavily-ornate frame, was a painting of Carlisle.

I don't know how long I was frozen, my eyes moving rapidly around the image, which was painted in the swirling, theatrical style of the late Baroque. Carlisle's figure took up almost half the canvas, his face anguished, body twisted to look painfully toward the figure of a woman who was being pulled from his grasp. I looked at the title of the painting. _Orpheus Leaving the Underworld_, painted in the early 1700s by Francesco Solimena.

If there was any chance I was capable of crying, this would've been when it happened. Instead, I stood, breath caught in my throat. I realized a moment later that I was shaking, and quickly looked around to see if my reaction had been observed by anyone else. Luckily, I was alone.

Although my first response was _How!?_, I vaguely remembered seeing another painting of Carlisle in the Cullen's house, possibly by the same artist, now that I thought about it. Edward had told me that the artist often painted Carlisle as a god, or something along those lines. There was something else tugging at my memory, though, and I tore my gaze from Carlisle's visage to examine the rest of the image. In addition to the distraught form of Orpheus, Eurydice was in the process of being pulled back into the Underworld by several figures, two of whom were apparently meant to be Hades and Persephone. I looked more closely, though, and noticed that the faces of both Hades and Persephone were familiar ... from that same painting at the Cullen's, I realized. With a jolt, I remembered the story that Edward told about the painting at his house - about the Italian vampires that Carlisle had lived with for a time. _They had Roman-sounding names ... Marcus, Gaius ... no, wait, Caius_, and I couldn't quite remember the third name, although I was pretty sure it was something short. _Did it start with an "A"?_ They were all men, but I had learned in class that Renaissance and Baroque painters would sometimes use male models for painting females, since female models were more rare and expensive to use. _Or maybe the artist knew better than to insist on someone else as the model_, I mentally appended.

There was no question that this was the painting I would write about, since I knew I would be unable to concentrate on anything else while I was in this museum. _How masochistic of you, Bella_, I thought, but at the same time I felt oddly comforted by the painting, which stood as a tangible link between myself and the Cullens. _It will be as though we never existed_, Edward had said, or some such nonsense. Yes, well, I guess when you were hundreds of years old, and buddies with the rich and powerful, it was hard not to leave some traces behind.

I looked again at the informational label for the painting, finally focusing on the last two lines. _On long-term loan from the private collection of Aro Volturus, Volterra, Italy._ _This loan was made possible in part by a generous donation from the Simon Cullen Foundation. _Although I thought I couldn't be any more surprised, I experienced another shock. Aro - that was the name of the final vampire. And they were called the Volturi, the ones that were essentially the ruling body of all vampires. It was beginning to come back to me. But Simon Cullen? I knew that the Cullens I knew had to be related to this - it was too much coincidence otherwise. But I had never heard that first name used by any of them.

Still reeling, I sat down in front of the painting and pulled out a notebook, and started to roughly sketch the image before beginning my description and analysis. The more time that I focused on it, though, the more I felt a building ache in my chest, as I wished the painting would turn into a window that I could step through, so I could talk to Carlisle again. Even though I was aware he had not even been born when this painting was created, I began to imagine that I could see Edward's face in one of the shadowy Underworld figures, looking on resignedly as Eurydice was torn from her husband's arms. The anguished expression on Orpheus's face became an outward manifestation of the vice-like pain wrapping itself around my chest.

Hours later, I knew I would have to tear myself away from the painting, especially since the museum was getting close to closing time. I would be back, though. As I left, I stopped to talk to the docent by the front door. She glanced up from her paperwork as I paused by the front desk.

"Excuse me, but I'm writing a paper on one of the paintings in the permanent collection, and I was wondering if I could get a little additional information."

"We're closing soon, but I will do my best," she replied.

"Um, well, I'm doing my paper on the Solimena painting _Orpheus Leaving the Underworld_, and I wanted to know more about the donor who is loaning it."

"Ah, yes, that painting is one of the highlights of our European collection. I don't have the information right in front of me, but if you come back tomorrow, I can give you the specifics of the loan."

"Sure - thank you." I replied.

It was twilight as I walked out of the building, and I had a sudden inspired idea. Instead of heading back to my room, I made a beeline for the library, which I knew would be open late. _Time to do some research_, I thought. I found an empty carrel with a computer, and sat down, suddenly nervous. I opened the browser, staring at the library's home page, willing my suddenly reluctant fingers to move over the keyboard. I opened Google, and began typing.

_Simon Cullen Foundation_

In the seemingly eternal moment between hitting "search" and seeing the results page, I reflected on what I was doing. I had never actively sought out the Cullens - I knew that Edward did not want me around, and I wasn't going to keep after him like a lost puppy. However, I was aware my choice of Dartmouth (and every other school I had applied to) had been influenced by the likelihood of seeing Edward there, even though I had never openly admitted it to myself until rather recently. Each school had been somewhere cold, with rainy or snowy weather, as well as being somewhere I could imagine Edward attending. The pain of staying in the familiar Northwest, though, with my strong associations to spending time with Edwards outdoors - in the meadows, under the dark boughs of the ancient fir and cedar trees - kept me from going to the University of Washington or somewhere else close to home. So my schools had all been East Coast. I never really expected to be admitted to any of my Ivy League "reach" schools, but when I received the acceptance letter from Dartmouth, I knew instantly that that's where I would be going.

The search results page popped up, and I looked at it, surprised. Most of the entries obviously only mentioned the Simon Cullen Foundation in passing, mostly in relation to gifts or donations given. There was one listing for the Foundation itself, and I mentally steeled myself, and clicked on the link.

A single page came up.

_The Simon Cullen Foundation was founded in 1936 as a charitable organization focused on preserving artworks of historic merit, and making those works accessible to the greater public. The Foundation makes grants and donations to educational institutions and non-profit organizations for the purpose of facilitating international cultural exchange between qualified institutions._

_The Simon Cullen Foundation is a tax-exempt organization under Section 501(c) (3) of the Internal Revenue Code._

_The Simon Cullen Foundation_

_P.O. Box 11463_

_New York, NY 10001-1463_

I stared blankly at the page for a moment, crestfallen. _Well, that answers nothing_, I thought. _It's just as well, though_, I continued, I_ was only doing this for curiosity's sake anyway_. Or, so I told myself, even though deep down, some tiny hope that I was going to learn something new about the Cullens was quietly being crushed.

I closed my eyes for a moment, breathing slowly in and out, more for comfort than necessity. Then my eyes snapped back open, and I pulled up the Google search page again. I typed in a new phrase:

_Aro Volturus Volterra Italy_

The search results page came up, and again I reacted with surprise. Whatever I had been expecting to find, this was definitely not it.


	5. Developments

Chapter 5: Developments

Actually, I'm not sure what I was expecting to find. The first search result was a Wikipedia stub, with a few mentions of "Aro Volturus" as one of the traditional founders of the city of Volterra, Italy. It also mentioned that, possibly because of this, it was one of the more popular names in the Tuscany region.

The second listing is what caught my attention: _VAMPIRES AMONG US! _

Clicking on it brought me to an obviously questionable conspiracy-laden site about vampires. From what I could tell, it was sort of a compendium of all relevant and recent vampire conspiracy rumors, with the normal "ominous" black background, compounded with irritating blue-and red-alternating text, which created an almost un-readable flashing effect for my now super-sensitive eyes. _If they wanted to keep the vampires out, they couldn't have picked an better way_, I irritatedly thought. There were literally hundreds of "theories" listed. As I began skimming through the page contents, I found some interesting tidbits, such as an argument that Masonic lodges were actually a cover for vampire covens, proved in part by the ritualistic drinking of blood - claimed to be wine, but which WAS actually blood. _And what does this say about the Christians?_ I idly wondered. Vampirism was also really what the dollar bill meant with its phrase about a "new world order." _Well, I guess I'm ahead of the curve - go, me!_ I rolled my eyes - this was not looking promising.

There was also a link that alleged there were vampires on one of the planes that hit the World Trade Center, and if you watched a certain video that showed the second plane hitting from just the right angle, you could see a part of the plane punch out, and several figures drop from it, seconds before it impacted the building. I wasn't sure what to think of this one, since the video clearly DID show _something _happening. I watched it over and over again, trying to ferret out where it had been manipulated, but there was nothing out of place, as far as I could tell. It was pretty fascinating, actually.

Finally, about three-quarters of the way down the page was a bit on Volterra, Italy. I clicked on the link, and was taken to a page that included the myth of the _stregoni benefici_. An echo of sorrow struck me as I had a brief flashback to the night I first researched vampires, during my early days of getting to know Edward. However, this page went further than the simple definition, as the author had apparently done a lot of research into the origin of that myth, and actually alleged that there were real vampires in Volterra that were the basis for the legend. The names of Aro, Caius, and Marcus appeared among others in a list of possible identities for these vampires. It also claimed that on March 19th, St. Marcus day was celebrated - the day on which St. Marcus had driven out the vampires from Volterra. But, since Marcus _was _a possible vampire that still existed in Volterra, the author speculated on the reasons for this festival - everything from reassuring the residents that there were no vampires, to acting as a warning to vampires who might want to come and hunt there.

_Fascinating_, I thought. _I wonder if this person knows how close to the mark they are ... and how much danger they've put themselves in. _I knew that it wouldn't take much for a vampire to find the author and silence them. _In a way, I guess the conspiracy theory approach IS the most accurate._ Luckily for this person, most old-world vampires must not be up to speed on the latest technology.

I looked at the screen for awhile, thoughtful. Meeting the Volturi might be a step that I should take, after the whole Victoria thing was taken care of. I had no other vampire contacts, and although I loved Jacob, and the wolf pack, ultimately, I knew that I was not like them, and would always be an outsider to some extent. _And, after awhile, I won't be able to go back home anyway_, I sadly added. My experiences in college so far were only solidifying my belief that although interacting with humans was possible, I was very different from them as well. _I'm lonely_, I thought, and was surprised that it rang true.

_So how do I get there? _was my next thought, since Volterra seemed very, very far away. I did not want to drop out of school, but I wasn't thrilled with the idea of waiting years, either. I decided that there must be a way to get there as part of my educational process. I had a meeting with my advisor the next week, so I would spend the time until then brainstorming some reasons that I needed to go specifically to Volterra, or somewhere close by in Tuscany. _I mean, there has to be some sort of school-year abroad program or something that I could take advantage of, that would allow me to keep doing my school work, keep my parents from worrying about my disappearance, and let me find the Volturi. _It was a big stretch, but I hoped it was possible.

I assumed that meeting the Volturi was the logical thing to do, although part of me warned that I should find out more about them before I went blithely traipsing into their city. My focus snapped back to the webpage still in front of me. _This guy obviously has some sources of information that aren't totally wacko._ I was a little nervous about contacting someone actually convinced of the existence of exactly what I was trying to keep hidden, but I figured that I would never actually meet him, so email contact only, plus my ivy-league student email address, would hopefully be enough to keep his suspicions off of me as well.

Now with a plan, I opened my email._ Hmmmm ... word this carefully, Bella_. I decided the best place to start was sending an email to the person who ran the _VAMPIRES AMONG US!_ page, and ask to be forwarded on to the person who wrote specifically about Volterra, assuming there was more than one person, of course. There was no name given, only an info email address.

_Dear Sir/Madam,_

_I am a student at Dartmouth University, and I am doing a paper on contemporary vampire myths for my -_

Crap. _What class would have something like this? Better make it something real ..._ I thought. I jumped over to the online Course Bulletin and quickly skimmed through. _A-ha! Thank you, liberal arts education!_

_- Comparative Religions class, and I stumbled across your page. I am particularly interested in the myths about the Volterra Vampires, and wondered if you could put me in contact with the author of that section, as I would be interested in learning more, and perhaps finding some new source materials._

_Thank you,_

_Isabella Swan_

I reread the email for a second, decided it seemed innocent enough, and clicked "Send" ... and hoped I hadn't just gotten myself into trouble.

...

The next day was overcast, making my trip back to the Art Museum after class less worrisome. I was done with my paper, but I felt this almost uncontrollable urge to visit the painting - my painting, as I was beginning to think of it - again. I was so focused on seeing it that I almost didn't turn when the docent tried to get my attention. I briefly remembered that I had asked her for information, and turned - not too quickly - towards her.

"I did some digging after we spoke yesterday, and I have some more information on the painting and its donor," she began. "We have had this piece since the late 1970s. The loan is long-term, with no defined end-date. It is guaranteed to be here for 50 years, and after that point its presence would be at the discretion of the donor or his estate. As for how it actually came here, I'm sure you read the wall label that mentioned the Simon Cullen Foundation -"

I felt a phantom lurch in my chest, as if my heart was trying to stutter back to life.

"- who were instrumental in arranging the whole thing. We had been trying to build our European Baroque holdings, and this particular painting was a fortuitous surprise. I asked the Museum Director about it yesterday before I left, and he recalled that the timing of it all had been lucky, indeed, as it just so happened that one of the Cullen family was a student at that time, and had overheard one of the museum curators discussing the very topic. And, when you are a member of such a family, I guess, it's not too hard to pull some strings."

I wondered who had previously been a student here - Edward, or Alice, perhaps? I thought of Rosalie or Emmett fitting into this quiet academic setting, and shuddered. Jasper wouldn't have been comfortable around so many humans, either.

"So, as for the donor himself, he's a descendant of the original founders of Volterra, Italy -"

I avoided coughing at this remark.

"-and has quite a remarkable art collection. It seems that his family has been collecting art for a very long time."

_You have no idea, lady._

"They actually have too much art to display, and so were happy to lend a piece to us, where it could be publically appreciated. They have their own gallery in Volterra, apparently - the Palazzo Volturi. Much of their collection is displayed there."

"The last of the great art patron families, huh?" I quietly mused.

I froze at her next statement.

"We actually have had a special relationship with this family, ever since the loan was given. Each year, one or two Art History majors are allowed to study there for a quarter. It's really a remarkable chance to work close-up with some amazingly important and beautiful objects. They collect all periods of art, from ancient to contemporary, so almost all of the Art History majors try and go at some point. You must not be in the Art History department if you didn't know about this?" she finished with a question.

"Ah, no - I mean, not yet - I'm just a freshman."

"Well, if you think you might be majoring in Art History, you should go talk to the department chair - I'm sure she'd be able to get you on the right track."

The docent kept speaking, but I was in a daze. This was too easy ... was it fate? It sure seemed like I was meant to meet the Volturi. The more I thought about it, the more I was determined to snag one of those study-abroad opportunities. If I was prepared enough, I bet I could try and do it before I was "officially" a major in the department - which would have been at the end of my Sophomore year. The thought of having to wait that long was terrifying, and made me all the more determined to put together the most persuasive argument I could. _Thank god I don't need sleep_, I thought, _I can get this done ASAP_.

Focusing back on what was in front of me, I realized that the docent was looking at me with a strange expression. _Uh, oh ... how long was I been standing there, frozen like a statue? _I knew firsthand how unsettling - and unnatural - that stillness could be. I quickly spoke, "Thanks for all the information - it was really helpful. And thanks also for the advice about seeing the Volturi collection - I just might do that." Before she could respond, I turned, my current plans suddenly averted, and ran back towards my dorm.


	6. Decisions

Chapter 6: Decisions

On my way back to my room, I decided that I should probably swing back by the library, to see if the mysterious author of the _VAMPIRES AMONG US!_ website had written me back. I sat down in the carrel, opened my email, and immediately saw three messages from Renee of escalating intensity as to whether I was going to go to Florida for winter break. To forestall any additional craziness on her part, I took a moment to write back a quick response:

_Mom,_

_I'm sorry I haven't written you sooner - I had a big paper due that was taking up all my time. I have been invited on a ski trip for the winter break by some of my new friends, and so I was thinking of staying up here for most of break. I also already promised Charlie that I would come back to Forks, too - I dont want him to spend Christmas alone. Maybe we can work something out for the summer?_

_I love you,_

_Bella_

I hated lying to Renee, but at least it was easier to do over email. Navigating the tricky web of family and friends who would notice the difference in me was mentally exhausting. I knew they would all be gone within decades, though, and I was in no hurry to lose them, so I wasn't complaining.

I looked at the next email. _Jackpot_. Apparently this guy had nothing better to do than write back random college students, as the email was dated only 45 minutes after I had sent my initial message. _This should be interesting ..._ I thought, and opened the email.

_Dear Isabella,_

_I am very excited to learn of your interest in the Volturi vampires, since most people do not seem to grasp their importance and implications of their existence (or even believe in them, if you can wrap your head around that!). The more literature and information that is out there that takes them seriously, the better. For that reason, I would be happy to share some of my source material with you - but it is not stuff that can be transmitted electronically, nor do I wish to endanger the very sensitive nature of my sources. I'm sure that I don't need to tell you, but I have to be very diligent about minimizing the Volturi's awareness of my existence, as they are not happy about it._

_If you are still interested, though, I would be willing to meet you in person, at a location that I specify. For obvious reasons, this cannot be at my home, as I must remain in even deeper shadows than the Volturi, if I am to stay alive. However, I will make this location not far from Dartmouth, so you shouldn't have to do an excessive amount of traveling. I'm sorry that I cannot be more accommodating, but my life, and my work, are on the line. I also feel compelled to warn you that by addressing this topic, even in a college paper, you may be putting yourself in danger. Although the Volturi are based in Italy, they have spies everywhere._

_Please send me a message back if you still would like to meet, and I can give you instructions to follow. Bring a notebook with you, since I also cannot let any of the materials out of my possession, so you'll have to make all your notes when we meet._

_Please delete this email after you read it._

_E._

_Ah, cue the X-Files music ... or should that be Inspector Gadget?_ I stared at the screen thoughtfully, wondering if getting potentially useful information about the Volturi was worth meeting this guy in person, and possibly putting my own identity at risk. _It's not like you don't have the resources to get rid of him if he does discover you_, part of me thought, although that idea was instantly repulsive. I knew that I should probably leave well-enough alone, and just move forward with my plans to secure a study-abroad opportunity in Volterra, but I hated the idea of walking in blind, so to speak, into the one group of creatures that could very easily end my existence. I decided that If this mysterious "E" turned out to be a problem, I could probably just blackmail him into silence. _I can at least go to the meeting spot, and if anything seems off, I don't have to approach him_, I reasoned with myself.

_Time to roll the dice._ My mind made up, I sent a quick email back, indicating my continued interest in meeting with him.

Since I was already online, I figured it was a good moment to try and research the study-abroad opportunity in Volterra on the Art History Department's webpage. I quickly clicked through the Dartmouth site to find it, and, sure enough, on the department's page there was a link about travel abroad. There was just one paragraph on the page specifically about the Volterra opportunity, basically restating everything the museum docent had told me. One line mentioned letting students that were interested in joining the department make use of this opportunity, even if by the school's determination they were not officially in the department yet. That was all I needed to see. Tomorrow, I would go to the Art History Department secretary and get things moving. I wondered if it would be possible for me to go as early as this school year. I wasn't anxious to meet my doom, but I had an underlying hope that meeting the Volturi would help me figure out my place in this new world. Carlisle had found it worthwhile to stay with them for a few decades, so surely a visit of a few months would be justified - even prudent.

...

A week later, I was in my room hiding from the afternoon sun, reflecting on all that had happened. Although it was almost over, October had turned into a productive month.

I had successfully convinced the Art History Department to award me a travel-abroad opportunity - and for the Winter Quarter, at that. Although I did my best to "dazzle" the professor I spoke with (which felt even more awkward than flirting with Jacob at the bonfire on First Beach), I think their willingness was more due to the fact that the person who was scheduled to go in the winter had to drop out at the last minute. As a freshman, I had plenty of flexibility in my schedule, and, always concerned about their enrollment, the Art History department was also happy to scoop up a new recruit. So, I was set - I would depart for Florence at the beginning of January.

Which made my impending meeting with "E" all the more important. True to form, he had written me back almost immediately, and I was going to meet him at yet-to-be-disclosed location on Sunday, four days from now. He said he would email me directions promptly at 9am, and then wait for me at that spot until 10am, after which time he would "disappear back into the shadows," or some such overly dramatic nonsense, if I had failed to show up. I wasn't comfortable about the whole arrangement, but I kept reminding myself that no matter what happened, _I _was the one with the upper hand. Evidently, I still had those instinctual personal safety-based reactions based on being a single, young, vulnerable girl ... not on being an immortal, virtually indestructible vampire.

I experienced a brief ripple of pain as I remembered Edward's demonstration of the power of his nature versus my own, when I was still a frail human girl. _As if you could outrun me ... as if you could fight me off ..._ Apparently I had not inherited his flair for the dramatic when I was changed, though, as the memory, painful for other reasons, always made me roll my eyes. _Still, it might not be a bad idea to let someone know what I'm doing, just in case._ I decided, as a concession to my still safety-obsessed subconscious, that I would tell Jake about it. Then, he would laugh and tell me how ridiculous I was to be worried (much in the way that he did whenever I expressed concern over HIS safety), and everything would be good.

That night, I made the call.

"BELLLLLAAAA!" came the exuberant reply, echoed immediately by two other voices in the background, after I said my initial hello.

"Jeez, Jake, I haven't been gone THAT long. And, uh, hi to Embry and Quil, too."

"Yeah, well, still, it's a nice change to talk to you instead of having to listen to Embry and Quil's constant whining." I laughed as I heard a muffled "Hey!" and the thump of something heavy hitting something - or someone - in the background. "Come on guys, can't you give me the illusion of privacy?" I heard Jacob yell back into the room. Then laughter and a door slammed.

"I can see I haven't missed much."

"Nah, everything's about the same. Billy's legs have been hurting him more, so I've been patrolling a little less, but that's about it."

"Any sign of Victoria?"

"Not yet, but I'm waiting for it."

"I hope she shows up again before I come home, " I mused.

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that," Jacob laughed tightly, "I have a feeling she's not too far, and we've been pulling back a little in our patrolling, trying to lure her in. And if for some reason she doesn't, we'll go and find her." I could hear his grim smile.

I paused for a moment, wondering how to best transition into my next topic. All of a sudden, the idea of telling Jacob that I was going to meet some conspiracy-theorist nutcase in the woods, so that I could go hang out with some powerful vampires, didn't seem like a good idea. "So, Jake, uh, before I say why I called, promise me you'll keep an open mind."

The other end of the phone got very quiet. "Um, ok." Jacob evenly responded.

I wasn't fooled. "No, really, just let me finish before you start yelling. I am planning on taking a quarter abroad in Italy, starting in January -"

"Wait, what? You're leaving the country? Is that really a good idea? -" he sputtered.

"Jake." I waited for him to stop. "I know you don't know a lot about vampires outside of the Cullens, and whatever bedtime stories you've heard, but as a whole we aren't a totally lawless group. There's a really old group of vamps in Italy who have been policing the rest of us for a very long time."

"Um, Bella, how exactly are they policing you if you all - well, not you - but almost all other vampires eat people?"

"Uh, eating people is within the rules, apparently. Eating a lot of people and causing havoc and destruction and alerting humans to our presence is not."

"Apparently," he echoed bitterly.

"Regardless, they are one of the most civilized groups within the vampire culture, I think. And I want to meet some other vampires, so I'm going there."

"And you know this how? Have you really thought this through?" I could hear the building agitation in his voice.

"Look, I know you hate the Cullens, but Carlisle was a very good and kind person, and at one point he lived with them for quite awhile. I trust his judgment. Plus," I continued, "I love you, Jake, and all the rest of the wolves, but I'm still different than you are, I know that. I want to be around other vampires for a bit, even if its only to see if I can learn something useful about myself. I'm not going forever - only a few months." I hurriedly finished.

Jacob was silent, although I could hear his breathing quite clearly. "Okay." he said quietly.

"And - wait, 'okay'? You aren't going to start screaming about a 'bunch of filthy bloodsuckers'?"

"Would it do any good?"

"Well, since you put it that way ... um, no."

"Look, Bella. I know I say a lot of bad things about vampires - especially those bloodsuckers that ruined your life. I'm meant to kill vampires, it's my entire reason for existence as a shapeshifter. However, I can tell this is important to you, and I know what you mean about feeling different - I mean, do you remember when we were all still changing, one by one? Thank god I had other wolves to talk to during that time, other people to help me, to answer my questions and keep me sane. You don't have any of that. So, yes, I still hate those filthy bloodsuckers, but I love you more, and if this is what you need to do, then I trust your judgment."

I was momentarily speechless, my heart in my throat and a weird pressure building behind my eyes. "Thanks, Jake," I whispered.

"Besides, if they do anything to hurt you, we'll be more than happy to take a field trip to straighten them out."

I smiled, "I would expect nothing less."

I could hear his answering smile, "Of course, Bella - you might smell bad, but you're still my best friend."

"So," I decided to forge on ahead, "before I actually go over there, though, I found someone who knows a bit about these vampires, and I'm going to meet with him on Sunday. I figure that I'll be better off if I have some knowledge about them before I just show up on their doorstep."

"How very, er, tactical - so you met another bloodsucker?"

"Well, not really. I met a regular human who has somehow figured a lot of things out that could really get him in trouble."

Jacob barked a short laugh, "I'll say."

"So, in the spirit of personal safety, I wanted to let someone know where I would be on Sunday, just in case."

"Bella?" I could hear the suppressed incredulity in Jacob's voice.

"Yeah?"

"Let me get this straight - you're more worried about meeting a single strange HUMAN than a group of old, powerful vampires?"

When he put it like that, it did sound rather silly. "Uh, yeah?" I replied, my voice trailing upwards.

There was a burst of unrestrained laughter on the other end of the phone. "I really don't know how to respond to that," Jacob choked out, "Look, if he tries to hurt you, I don't know, EAT him or something? Or maybe break all the bones in his body? Or, maybe even just step on him?" I'm sure he would have said more, but his laughter was verging on hysterics. "Hell, I bet you could just sit on him." he managed to squeak out.

"Geez, Jake, okay, okay. I get it."

"But thanks for letting me know," he wheezed out.

"FINE, Jake. You can stop laughing at me now."

"Look, maybe you NEED to hang out with some other vampires for awhile - you obviously have no concept of what you are."

I made a strangled noise of frustration.

"Okay, okay, I'm done, really," he continued. "If I don't hear from you on Monday, I'll assume you got really hungry and are guiltily sitting out in the woods somewhere," he snickered.

I was silent.

Jacob eventually caught on that I wasn't going to react any more. "Okay, change of subject! What are you going to be for Halloween this year?"

That actually made me pause for a second. "Is that some kind of a joke?"

"Well, no, not really - I mean, seems like Halloween should be your thing now, huh?" I could hear the glee barely contained in his voice.

"Funny, Jacob. I wasn't planning on going to any Halloween parties. You know why Halloween is such fun? It's because the monsters AREN'T REAL. Oh, since you mention it - what are YOU going as this year?"

"I was actually thinking about going as you. You know, since you're a scary monster now, and all. I'm going to go get a wig, and Emily said she'd do my makeup. I think Quil's really excited about it ... maybe too excited, actually," he finished thoughtfully.

"Wait - WHAT? Jake - that's so, so ..." I searched for the right word, "wrong. Just wrong ... like, need professional help wrong. You should really think about seeing someone." Although disturbed, I was a little mollified. I mean, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, right? I thought of something else, "And, uh, I don't wear makeup."

Jacob chuckled. "I'll take pictures. Everyone misses you, Bella. I'm can't wait for you to come back in December - it's going to be awesome." I couldn't miss the wistful note in his voice.

"I miss you guys, too - a lot. I should be there in about 5 weeks or so? I've already told Renee that I'm not coming to Jacksonville for Christmas, now I just have to figure out how to get around Charlie, which hopefully won't be too hard."

"Just let me know if you need me or Billy to help with that."

I was surprised that Jacob mentioned Billy's name, but then I realized that Billy probably would do anything in his power to help Charlie stay out of the supernatural fray that was about to go down. "I might - I'll let you know in the next few days if I do. Thanks."

"Well, I better go - we're having a bonfire tonight, and I have to help Emily bring the food down. Sheesh, some times I feel like a pack-wolf."

"Pack-wolf instead of wolf-pack?" I jibed.

The groan that issued from Jacob was overly dramatic. "That's it, I'm outta here."

I laughed, "Ok, talk to you soon, Jake. Take care of yourself and tell everyone I said 'hi'."

"Bye, Bells."

I put the phone down with a click, and stared thoughtfully at it. _Halloween_. It was tomorrow. I have to admit, the idea of being able to at least not worry as much about my human facade was enticing, but on the heels of that thought was another: _No, it will actually be like adding another layer of disguise over what you are now_. I sighed. The fervor over the incumbent holiday was inescapable, though - it buzzed around me whenever I had been near other students the past week or two. Not surprisingly, though, I had not been invited to any parties. I did talk to other students in my classes, but our conversations were always saturated with the tension that comes from putting politeness over instinct. The only person who did try to have normal interactions with me was Matt, and even he had been scarce the past few days. _Why are you even worrying about this, Bella?_ I asked myself, _It's not like you don't have other stuff going on - you know, little things like killer vampires and potential unabombers_.

I sighed and laid back on the bed, closing my eyes. Unbidden, though, the first vision that popped into my head, so vibrant that I thought for a second I hadn't closed my eyes, was of Edward's face looking into mine as he did on so many evenings when he was trying to get me to fall asleep. I could see the silvery moonlight defining his features, the slight iridescent sheen that it made on his skin. His eyes were guarded, but luminously full of love, and his smooth lips were quirked up into a half-smile. He was slowly reaching toward me, to gently push a stray piece of hair away from my face. I even began to hear faint familiar humming, realizing in the next instant that the quiet vibrations were emanating from me. The vice-grip around my chest tightened another notch, and while I knew I should just open my eyes, I could see him so clearly, and I hung on to the image until it faded just moments later.

Opening my eyes again, I let out a now-familiar tearless sob._ Stupid perfect vampire memory_, I thought angrily. I looked around myself, relieved to see that I hadn't destroyed anything in my moment of sorrow. These painful aftershocks were farther apart than they used to be, but still happened with regular frequency. I had quickly learned after my change, though, that anything I held in my hands would be that much dust, so I tried very hard not to hang on to or grab anything when one hit. My immediate instinct was to call Jacob back, and the phone was in my hand before I realized it. I looked at it, though, and slowly put it back down. _It's not fair to him_, I guiltily thought, _you can't just use him as a blanket to hide under._ I took a couple deep, although unnecessary, breaths, and concentrated on relaxing. _You're going to be okay_, I repeated to myself - it had been my mantra for what felt like a long time now. _No, you're not!_ a tiny, angry voice within me screamed, but I chose to ignore it - I had to ignore it to keep myself sane.

Somewhat calm again, I stood up and I decided that I needed to go do something. Some nights I would have given anything to be able to sleep again, to just shut off. But it was no longer an option, so I did the next best thing - I went to hunt.


	7. Interludes

Chapter 7 - Interludes

The next day started uneventfully, although I was gaining a deep appreciation for my new vampire multi-tasking ability: in my Art History seminar, I had been called upon by the instructor and was able to answer coherently and correctly, even though I had been mentally focused on my meeting with the mysterious "E". I let myself enjoy just a bit of my instructor's chagrin at my answer, since I knew he had called on me because I was staring - most likely, completely unmoving - out the window. However, I also knew that it meant I needed to be more vigilant about maintaining the smaller aspects of my human charade.

Around dinnertime, there was a knock on my door. I froze for an instant, nonplussed, since I was rarely, if ever, approached by anyone of their own free will. I peered through the door, and then threw it all the way open as I discovered Matt on the other side. I was back against the wall again by the time the door hit the doorstop, just a little too hard. I inwardly winced. Thankfully, Matt did not appear to notice.

Almost instantly, though, all thoughts of my inadvertent demonstration of unnatural strength fled as I took in what Matt was wearing. He was in all black - long sleeve shirt, jeans, with a headband that had two pipe cleaners stuck out of it, each with a foam ball on the end that had been painted blue. I could also just see the tips of a pair of diaphanous wings peeking out above his shoulders.

"Are you dressed as ... a butterfly?" Although my brain was still trying to process Matt's outfit, I could barely contain the giggles that threatened to burst through.

He blushed slightly, looking at me sheepishly. "Uh, yeah. I'm on my way to a costume party and I didn't have a costume, so Sarah - that girl that lives two doors down from you - lent me these."

_Who carries around a spare pair of butterfly wings?_ was my first thought, but then remembered the girl that Matt was talking about. Sarah was another freshman. She had shoulder-length chestnut-colored hair with so many color striations that it always reminded me of burl wood. She also seemed irritatingly perky, and in some indescribable way reminded me of Jessica back in Forks. The first time she had seen me, she took a minute to simply stare, then had promptly turned on her heel and walked in the other direction. The waves of jealousy coming off of her had been almost palpable. It was not a new reaction for me, as most people either, after the initial shock of taking in my inhumanly perfect physique, stared openly in fearful curiosity (I remembered having the same look on my face when I was small and saw the tigers at the Seattle zoo) or visibly closed down, reacting with immediate rejection and jealousy. Sarah fell clearly in the latter category, as did most girls. Unsurprisingly, the guys tended to fall in the former one. The fact that I had noticed that Sarah clearly had a crush on Matt did not help, either, since it had been becoming more and more apparent to both her and myself that he was interested in me.

"So," he quickly continued, "I was wondering if you wanted to come along, I mean, if you weren't doing anything else."

My first reaction was to say no, but there was something about the hopeful look on his face that stopped me. _You have no other friends here_, my mind scolded me, _you shouldn't throw away the one person who's trying to make a connection with you_. I paused to think. I had fed the night before, as part of my preparation for my Sunday meeting, so the pull of human blood wasn't as strong as it could be. In fact, Matt's scent had clearly wafted its way to me at this point, and I hadn't even reacted. Still, I knew a party would be something different, worse than going to class, even. I was tired, though, of spending so much time alone.

_Here goes nothing_; _I really hope I don't cause a national news story_. "Um, okay," I responded, "but I don't have a costume."

"Oh, I'm sure that's fine. Hey, I'm sure Sarah wouldn't mind if you wore this instead of me!"

"Oh, no, it's okay," I quickly responded, although the corner of my mouth twitched at the mental image of Sarah's face when she saw me walking in wearing the butterfly wings. "I'm fine going as is." _I'm already in costume_, I silently added.

...

It had been a while since I had been to a party - a long while. The last event I could remember attending was the graduation party that Mike and Jessica threw. I had gone, but it was an effort to look happy and seem to have fun for such an extended period of time. I had tried to get Jacob to come with me, but he said he didn't want to "intimidate" my friends, although that might have been the one thing that would've made me smile for real.

It was a relatively short walk, and by the time we got there, the house was jammed with people, the ambrosia of human scent mixed with stale beer, cigarette smoke, sweat, and a hint of vomit. I think the combination alone would have kept me on the wagon, even if I had less control. I had almost turned back several times on our way over, mentally berating myself for such reckless behavior. So, I was expecting the worst-case scenario when I walked in, either from my reaction towards the partiers, or their reaction to me. For the most part, though, not many people noticed when we walked in - everyone seemed to be wrapped up in what they were doing - dancing, drinking, talking. I had worn a long sleeve shirt, since I figured the temperature of my skin would be more noticeable than its color, especially here, where many people had stripped down to the bare - and I mean bare - essentials. The thick, damp heat radiating from the room felt good, though, reminding me of days in Arizona when the sun re-emerged in full force after an afternoon thunderstorm.

"Can I get you something to drink?" Matt yelled over the thumping bass.

"Um, sure - a beer would be great," I replied, subtly scouting for the best place to sit where I could inconspicuously pour it out as I "drank" it. There was a couch against one wall that was mostly empty - so I turned in that direction. "I'll wait for you over here," I said, pointing at the couch, as Matt waved and walked towards what I assumed was the kitchen. As I sat, I was briefly amused by the fact that the couple sitting on the far end of the couch instinctively scooted farther away. _Man, people should take me to clubs_, I thought, _I would always be able to score us some seats_.

It wasn't yet late, but this party had obviously been in full swing for awhile. There was a whole range of costumes - some creative, most not, though. It seemed like a whole section of girls thought that "as little clothing as I can get away with" constituted its own category. Or maybe it should be called it the "sexy prefix" category - like "sexy witch" or "sexy cat." There were at least five vampire costumes, but only one werewolf, since apparently that costume took a little more effort - with very little payoff in these hot, close-packed quarters.

I was glad that people were drinking, as I watched the Christmas lights used as decoration reflect oddly on my exposed skin. I figured that if anyone really noticed, they'd probably think I had put on some sort of makeup, even though it would have seemed incongruous with my regular street clothes. Good thing drunk people usually weren't up for two-step logic.

As I examined the dull glitter of my skin, I couldn't help but think about the first time Jacob had seen me step into the sun after my change.

...

"Um, Jake, I think there's something I should tell you before we go outside."

"Bella, we've been going outside all week! What's the problem? You know I wouldn't let you go out if Paul and Embry hadn't given the all-clear. Come on - this is the first nice day we've had in a long time!"

I suddenly was fascinated with drawing patterns in the dust under my feet. "That's kind of the problem ... well, it's not a problem, exactly ..." I broke off, fidgeting from habit. If I could have still blushed, I would've.

Jacob finally looked at me, eyebrows scrunched in confusion. "Bella, what's going on?"

"Well, before we go out there -" I thought about the best way to phrase what I was going to say, but couldn't think of anything better than simply blurting it out. "I have to tell you that my skin does funny things in direct sunlight."

Jacob skipped a beat, an unreadable look on his face quickly covered by a smirk. "Funny haha, or funny strange?"

I cringed. For some reason, while Edward's skin had seemed the most breathtakingly beautiful thing I had ever seen, I could only see it as yet another freakish difference that set me apart from everyone else. "Ah, funny strange, I guess? Although I have a feeling that you're going to think that it's both."

Jacob's eyes lit up. "I should get Quil and Embry over here - this sounds like it's going to be good."

"JACOB BLACK, DON'T YOU DARE." I gave my best steely-eyed stare-down, which was undermined by the burst of laughter that escaped from his lips.

"Sorry, Bells - I'm teasing. You just look so uncomfortable - embarrassed, even!"

I sighed. "Let's just go out there already, okay?"

"Ready when you are." Jacob stepped aside, sweeping his hand across in a grand gesture as he motioned for me to go first.

I took a step forward, pushing open the screen door. I was at the edge of the shadow cast by the house's roof before I realized that Jacob had not moved past the doorway. I looked back in puzzlement. "Jake? Are you coming, or what?"

He motioned me onward with his hand, a ghost of a smile still on his lips. _Great, an audience_, I inwardly moaned. I took a deep breath and stepped forward into bright sunlight.

Although Jacob didn't react at first, I knew what he was experiencing. When Edward had stepped out from the shadows that one, perfect day in the meadow, I had been so shocked, so overwhelmed that I couldn't react. I quickly suppressed the deep-seated pain that was now bound with the memory, the crushing longing to go back to that moment. I refocused on the present, and grimaced, "As if you needed another reminder that I'm not human anymore, huh?" I knew what Jacob's unreadable expression at the beginning of our conversation had meant, before he had covered it with his usual flippant humor.

"Um, Bella - you're saying that to someone who can suddenly grow fur and run on four legs." Jacob's eyes were somber, but his quick smile was genuine, not his usual teasing smirk. He deliberately stepped forward, never breaking gaze with me. When he reached the light, he gently took my hand, its heat scorching against my frigid skin. We looked at each other for a moment, the distance that we had both come since that walk on First Beach never more apparent. With Jacob, though, seriousness could never last. "Come on - let's go catch some lunch," he grinned. "Besides, this will make hunting so much easier - you'll stun prey with your incredible sparkliness, and then I'll catch them unawares while they are momentarily blinded."

I laughed, grateful for Jacob's never-ceasing ability to diffuse difficult situations.

He continued, "Plus, you're going to be a hit at our next bonfire. Do you mind if we aim some colored lights at you?"

"Jake - I'm not a party trick!" I exclaimed, only half-indignantly.

"What a waste," he sighed with mock solemnity, "I swear, you're missing out on a whole side-career."

I groaned. "Here we go," I muttered to myself, rolling my eyes. More loudly to Jacob, "Come ON." He grinned as I pulled him forward with our still-interlaced hands, and we ran together into the trees.

...

"Bella? What's so funny?"

I snapped to the present, realizing that I had been staring off into space with a silly smile on my face. Matt was standing in front of me, with a beer held out in my direction. I took it and he sat down next to me. Turning sideways on the couch to face him, I used the moment to really look at him. I had always been so overwhelmed by his hair color, (_really, Bella, you're obsessed with his hair color?!_) that although I had looked at him, I hadn't really _seen _him. Aside from the artfully unkempt swath of bronze locks, Matt looked nothing like Edward, which was probably why I was able to continue carrying on a conversation with him. He was slightly shorter than I remembered Edward to be, and his skin was golden tan dashed with freckles, which spoke of many afternoons outside - probably playing some sport. His nose was straight but broad and short, and, under prominent brows, his eyes were a hazelly-shade of gray. Now that I was really looking, I realized he was good-looking - in an all-American kind of way.

I was never very good at making up lies on the spot, so I lamely replied, "Oh, nothing - this party just reminded me of something back home."

Matt raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah, anything good?"

"Nah, not really - nothing that would make for an entertaining story, at least." _Unless you like your stories freakishly frightening._

Matt turned towards me, folding one leg up on the couch, mirroring my body position. His gaze turned mischievous. "So, I finally got you to come out ... is your boyfriend going to be pissed?" Some uncontrolled emotion must have flitted across my face, because he quickly added, "I mean, I'm not going to get you in trouble, am I?"

Almost as swiftly, I realized that he meant Jacob, whom I had been using as the "boyfriend excuse". "Oh, Jake? No, we, uh, decided that we were better as friends. And we are - I talk to him all the time."

Matt laughed, "You must be. I don't see any of the barely-veiled hate that most girls show when talking about their exes."

"Yeah, that's me, all about healthy relationships." I hoped he wouldn't catch the sarcasm undercutting my tone.

If he did, he didn't show it, although he did change the subject. "So, are you ready for some colder weather? I still haven't forgotten that dinner you promised me."

"Promised you? Wait a minute, we have a bet! And it's not until February!"

"Oh, so you DO remember!" His eyes were gleeful.

I almost felt bad for what I was going to say next. "But maybe we should move it - I won't be here in February."

His face fell slightly. "Oh really? Why not?"

"I'm going to Italy - it's a program offered through the Art History department."

Matt gave a half-hearted smile. "Wow, ready to get out of here already, huh? It takes most people at least a year to reach that point." His tone was light, but I could see that he was pretty bummed out.

I smiled like I didn't notice, even though I felt strangely sad as well. "Well, it seemed like everything was falling into place for me to go - and who am I to second-guess fate?"

"I suppose if I had a chance to go abroad, I'd call it fate, too." He looked up from where he had suddenly been compulsively peeling the label off his beer bottle, "So, what are you going to do in Italy?"

"Well, there's a family there that has a partnership with the school - they have a big private collection of works that the art history majors can go and study. It actually sounds pretty cool."

"That does sound nice - I wish my department did something similar. Unfortunately, they're content with chaining us up in the basement of the engineering building."

I chuckled. "Well, I officially give you permission to make fun of me when we graduate, and you have a kick-ass job, and I'm working at McDonald's. I figure I better enjoy what I can while I can."

Matt laughed, an easy sound over the humming din of background noise. "So, since you're leaving us, I apparently cannot waste any chances to talk to you. Tell me more about yourself - I barely see you outside of our dorm."

I shrugged. "Well, there's not much to tell -"

Matt made an exaggerated sigh. "Well, there goes my theory that you're a secret crime fighter, and that's why I never seem to see you outside during the day. But seriously, you must like to go out and do something?"

I took an instinctive breath, about to answer that no, I didn't go out and do very much, when Matt interrupted me before I could begin.

"Wait, wait, let me guess ..." he blurted out, a mischievously calculating look in his eye, "I bet I can figure it out."

"Go for it, Sherlock." I looked expectantly back at him, my eyebrows raised. After all, it had taken Edward lifting a car off of me for me to even start thinking in the right direction, so I wasn't exactly concerned that Matt would stumble upon the truth.

In response, Matt closed his eyes, and slapped the now-liberated label from his beer bottle onto his forehead, keeping it in its ridiculous location with the back of his hand.

"What are you doing?" I broke in. "I'm pretty sure this is not standard detective methodology."

"Shhhhh!" Matt replied in an exaggerated whisper. "I needed more than an everyday investigative technique. Since it's Halloween, I'm communing with the spirits!"

"Ok, Miss Cleo - but, with a beer label?"

"NOT a beer label. My focus object."

"Uh huh," I could feel my lips twitch as I tried to keep a straight face, "I don't want you to psychically strain yourself - let me help you." I looked up at the ceiling in mock reverence, raising my hands and calling out, "O great spirits of alcoholic consumption, hear me!"

"A-hem." Matt cracked one eye open, a pseudo-frown in place. "Don't break my concentration."

"Ok, ok, I'm shutting up now." I once again fought the almost uncontrollable urge to giggle that had suddenly overtaken me. _That's twice in one night - must be a new record._ I was relaxed, well, as much as I could be in a room full of humans, but it was a feeling that I was not used to experiencing outside of my interactions with the wolves. For a second, just one fraction of an instant, I forgot what I was, and was just a girl sitting on a couch at a party, flirting with a boy.

"Okay, you ... like being outdoors." Matt intoned.

A choked back a laugh. "Uh, you had a 50/50 shot at that one, bub."

"Hold on. I'm not done." Matt scrunched his face in mock concentration. "You enjoy hiking. And you like to run. At night. And," he made a dramatic pause, "This is all because you are really in hiding in the witness protection program, and you cannot risk your secret identity becoming known ... so you have to do everything at night ... IN THE SHADOWS," he finished melodramatically.

I made a small choking sound.

"Ah!" he exclaimed triumphantly, "I'm right, aren't I?"

I couldn't react. He wasn't right, but he was right enough to make me uncomfortable. And how did he know I went running at night? That part just creeped me out.

Matt's face was split in a wide grin, but he froze when he opened his eyes to see why I was suddenly silent. "Wait, did I say something wrong? I mean, you aren't really in the witness protection program, are you?"

"Are you seriously asking me that question?" I recovered quickly.

"Ok, just making sure I didn't just blow your cover." He laughed, letting the moment go, for which I was grateful. "And," he added, "before you think I'm a stalker, I've seen you come out of the woods at night with your running shoes on, so it wasn't that far of an extrapolation."

I did my best to look aggravated. "Hmmmm ... so much for your spiritual connection, then, cheater?"

"Ouch!" he laughed.

We chatted easily for another hour, at least, talking about music, our friends from home (a severely curtailed discussion on my part), our parents. I found that I could relax around Matt, and push the angry, upset, screaming voice inside of me so far back in my head that just echoes remained. As the party got louder, though, I decided I had pushed my luck long enough, and decided to excuse myself. Matt offered to walk me back, more than offered, really, I had to actively dissuade him from doing so. Oddly enough, I was saved by Sarah, who had finally seen an opening to wedge herself into. With Sarah's hand firmly guiding him on to the dance floor, I caught a glimpse of Matt's disappointment as he turned to look at me one last time. Pretending not to notice, I raised my eyebrows and winked at him, pointing at Sarah's back and ignoring the twinge I felt as I gave him a thumbs-up. He rolled his eyes, but there was a smile on his face as he turned back around.

My conversation with Matt, the party, everything was quickly shoved into the recesses of my mind as soon as the cool night air caressed my face. It had been a nice break from obsessing over my meeting with "E," but now there was really nothing standing in the way between myself and it. _I've amped myself up way too much over this_, I thought, but another part of me couldn't suppress the tingles of excitement at the idea of somehow reconnecting, even in the most tangential way, to a life I had thought was gone. _I'm ready_, I thought, smiling to no one as I moved into the deepening darkness.


	8. Meetings

Chapter 8: Meetings

I pushed back the drapes on my window early Sunday morning, unsurprised to see the thin layer of snow that had fallen overnight. It had been the first time that I had witnessed snowfall since my change, and I had been shocked to realize that I could actually hear the soft, tiny flakes hit the ground. The falling snow made a soft hissing sound that became a soothing background susurration as I sat at my desk, finishing up the week's assignments. It was a nice change from the mp3 player that I had become in the habit of using to tune out the outside world while I was in my room, working.

The snowfall reminded me of how quickly my life seemed to be moving as of late; the abrupt change in season a reminder of the relentless pace of the natural world, independent of all the fleetingly transitory endeavors of the planet's occupants. I felt more in tune with the earth now, as one of its permanent inhabitants, which ironically made the time pass even more quickly. And now, it was finally time to meet "E." My stomach made a little flip-flop, even as I admonished myself to not get excited over this turn of events.

Although I had been inexplicably disturbed by hearing his drunken return with Sarah at around 3 a.m. the night of the Halloween party, and everything that followed for a mercifully brief half-hour before they apparently passed out, I still knew that Matt was my best bet to get myself to the meeting spot in normal human fashion. I knocked on Matt's door at around nine, hoping that a one-night hookup hadn't turned into anything more, and that I wasn't about to get an eyeful of something I would literally not be able to forget. Thankfully enough, Matt seemed to be alone, and let me borrow his car with only a little token resistance, disguised as concern over my choice of driving so soon after the first snowfall of the season. I luckily caught myself before I offhandedly remarked that his car was more in danger of me hurting it than the other way around. Of course, I hadn't even come close to actually telling him what I would be doing with the car, instead making up some story about visiting a friend for Sunday brunch.

_This is a nice change_, I thought about an hour later, cruising along mostly empty roads in his Audi coupe, _from the rattling mess that had been my truck in Forks_. The "charm" or "personality" that had appealed to me as a human was almost unbearable with my heightened vampire senses. I pulled over at the trailhead, empty and quiet as lightest dusting of tiny flakes drifted their way to the ground. I froze for an instant, thinking of another time, another trailhead, another trip into the woods at a very different time of year. I winced at the twinge in my chest and tried to set my mind to the task at hand, checking to make sure I was properly dressed for a young human in the winter woods: _coat - check, gloves, scarf, and hat - check, proper shoes - check_. As soon as I was satisfied, I moved off into the trees that were quickly becoming pendulous with the heavier snow now beginning to fall. As I walked, I could hear the skittering of small animals moving through the carpet of dead leaves that was under the new-fallen snow. Somewhere in the distance, I heard the cracking of branches as a couple of deer caught wind of my presence, and fled through the woods in a sudden panic. I stopped and took a moment to appreciate the relative silence of the trees in comparison to the noisy din of campus. Somehow, I felt an affinity for this weather, although my sarcastic side quickly chimed in, _Yeah, well, whaddya expect? It's white, cold, dead, and probably sparkles in the sun_. The bleak thought was enough to get me moving again, the calming blanket of snow and endless line of trees turning into an empty void that threatened to swallow me.

I made my way along the trail, and, sure enough, a small trailer appeared after about a half of a mile. There were deep ruts behind it, still visible under the snow, and a pickup truck partially obscured by its unwieldy bulk. _I guess E likes to keep his interests mobile_, I cursorily thought. What caught my attention almost immediately, though, was the large cross nailed above the doorway. I stopped myself before the groan actually escaped my lips. Either this was someone's idea of a joke, or I might be just about to discover that this was a colossally huge waste of time. _You've got nothing but time_, the cynical part of my brain reminded me. I sighed and took a step forward.

I stood at the edge of the small clearing, about 20 feet or so from the door of the trailer. "Hello?" I called out. The one thing that had been left to chance was the weather, but since today's clouds hung grey and fecund with the snow that was quickly piling up on the ground, I couldn't have asked for anything more accommodating, really. Hopefully, it wasn't quite cold enough yet that "E" would notice the lack of steam made by my breath as I exhaled. I immediately heard some rustling and rattling from inside the trailer, the sounds of paper being shuffled and metal objects being knocked away. I took another step forward, pausing to state a little more loudly, "Hel -"

And then he appeared in the doorway.

My mysterious "E" was a slightly overweight, slightly balding middle-aged man. He was very ... ordinary, unremarkable: even his hair was a non-descript shade of brown. He paused to shove thick glasses up his nose, peering out into the woods in my direction._ I really am in an episode of the X-files_, I thought, _where's my AFDB? _I sighed and took another step forward, trying to channel the un-predator in me, pulling on every human instinct and idiosyncrasy, to try and forestall the unconscious avoidance that most humans rightfully had around me. This guy obviously had too much time on his hands, and I did not want this guy wondering about me - not in that way, at least.

"Isabella?" He peered further out of the doorframe.

I slapped on a smile, careful not to show teeth. "Yes, it is ... um, you never really told me your name." I slowly approached, not entirely having to fake the nervous motion of my hands as I crossed my arms over my down jacket.

"Oh, right, well, can't be too careful, you know, especially about people you meet over the internet." He waited until I was right at the mouth of the trailer, and took a good look at me, actually looking both up and down. It wasn't done in a creepy sort-of way, more like I was some sort of specimen to be catalogued. I apparently passed muster, since he added, "My name is Edwin."

"Well, hi, Edwin. Thanks for meeting with me." I looked down at the ground and shuffled my feet.

He seemed to remember his manners, moving aside and motioning me inside. "Come on in, it's too cold out there."

I stepped up and in to the cabin, careful not to touch his outstretched hand. The inside of the trailer looked like something out of a bad 70s sitcom - wood paneling, mustard-yellow countertops, and a dingy couch that appeared to have begun its life as a matching shade of yellow, but had now resigned itself to a tired shade of beige. And, oh, the smell. It was hard for me to tell how overwhelming it would have been with normal human senses, but the speculation was really moot, as there was no way I could escape the wall of sweat, old food, trash, and grime accumulated from living a long while in a small space. I suppose the generous way of describing it would be "well lived-in". I mentally thanked the vampire gods that I could choose not to breathe.

"Here, uh, excuse the mess, I made some space for you on the couch." He gestured to an empty spot, threatened with imminent oblivion by the unstable tower of paper next to it. I gingerly sat. "You live here?" I said, looking around politely.

"I do now ... ever since, well, this stuff started."

_This stuff?_

"Oh, I'm being rude - would you like a drink? I haven't had visitors in awhile. I have, uh, beer, well, I guess I shouldn't offer you that. There's tap water, if you don't mind drinking that." He reached toward a glass smeared with greasy fingerprints and I shuddered. _Uh, yes, I do mind._

"No, I'm fine, thanks." I smiled blandly. We stared at each other, the awkwardness of the moment finally catching up with our rituals of polite interaction. "So," I began, "I think I said in my email that I am writing a paper on the Volterra vampires - can I ask you where you got some of your source material? From what you said in your email, it sounds like it's pretty rare stuff."

He chuckled slightly, "You could say that. You know, my first reaction when I got your email was to warn you off from writing the paper entirely, but then I thought a little more, and decided that making this information more public was maybe a better way of protection than trying to keep it hidden."

"Why are you so scared?"

"Like I said, you have no idea what these vampires, these Volturi, really are - everyone buys into the romantic notions about vampires, but these guys are real and vicious." His voice rose slightly, "I mean, if anyone really knew what went on in Volterra -"

"Wait - hold on," I interjected, "how did you even get involved with this stuff? It doesn't seem like something that a normal person would even remotely brush up against."

"Ah," he sighed, his face falling slightly, "I figured I would have to tell this story. But maybe it's for the best," he muttered softly, more for himself than for me to hear, I think. He moved to sit in a chair across the narrow space, staring out the window that was just to the left of my head, and cleared his throat. "Well, about 7 years ago, my mother told me she was taking a tour of Italy with a few friends from her church group. Honestly, I didn't think much of it, I was actually happy she was going to get out of the house. I was spending so much time at work - I used to be a computer programmer at a software company - that I had been feeling guilty about leaving her alone so much." He sighed again, adding belatedly, "My dad died when I was 10 in a car accident." I made a sympathetic noise, but he continued without looking at me. "So, I helped her plan for the trip, since it was the least I could do. She gave me the itinerary, since it was a structured tour, and I did a lot of research on each stop, so she could know in advance what attractions would be worth visiting, restaurants to patronize, and so on."

I started to get a cold feeling in the pit of my stomach, but said nothing, giving him the space to continue.

"She had been sending me postcards from the trip, since overseas calls were pretty expensive, and she told me that there was something nostalgic, romantic, even, about sending letters. So, I know she went out of her way to find the most beautiful postcards to send me from each location. She told me that she really enjoyed taking a moment at the end of the day to recount what she had done, what she had seen. She sent one almost every day. It took a couple of weeks for each one to reach me, so, ironically, I didn't start getting them until she was already gone. Well before the first postcards started arriving, only about a week into her vacation, I received a phone call from the organizer of the trip, frantically telling me that my mother had disappeared on their second day in Volterra. The police were apparently looking in to it, although they weren't looking hard enough, as far as I was concerned. In retrospect, I'm actually surprised they looked at all, considering the amount of power wielded by the Volturi in that town. They probably figured it would cause less trouble, though, looking into it and finding nothing, versus not looking into it at all and looking suspicious."

I remembered to take a breath, although the smell quickly reminded me why I had originally stopped. "So, what did they say?" I said quietly.

"That she was just ... gone. No trace of her. All of her stuff was gone, too, which made it look like she had left voluntarily. I knew, though, that she would have never left the tour like that, never just disappeared on me, just as well as I knew that she was dead. I just knew. My first reaction when I got the call was to head over there, to start tearing things apart looking for her. I had this sinking feeling, though, that my effort would be wasted, and I did not want to get caught up in the police paperwork that was still going on. I wanted to be able to go when things had quieted down a little, to try and do some research first, so that I would have an idea of what I was looking for."

_He already had this conspiracy-theorist tendency_, _apparently_, I remarked silently.

"So, I began to do some research. I started digging through the internet, where I found some discussions of strange disappearances happening in the region around Volterra. Weirdly enough, though, the town itself had a stellar reputation in terms of safety. The only disappearances - and they were always disappearances, never murders or confirmed deaths - happened with tourists, or within lesser-regarded groups like the Roma. You, know, the gypsies." He glanced at me briefly, and I nodded my head. He then resumed his sightless vigil out the window. "Anyway, I learned enough to know that I was dealing with some seriously freaky shit, and I was glad I hadn't immediately gone over there. And then the postcards started arriving." He paused for a moment, "It was so strange, like a voice beyond the grave. She told me everything she had seen that day, where they were, where they were going to dinner, what she was doing the next day. I would wait for the mailman everyday, hoping for a new one, and I was not disappointed, although I dreaded the day that I knew the last postcard would arrive. But although it was an incredibly sad moment for me, I was excited when I read it, because she had said she had been approached by a nice local woman, and she was going to see some of the town's historical buildings the next day on a kind of side-tour." He looked at me, a bleak expression on his face, adding in a whisper, "It was something I had actually encouraged her to do in that town, since I had read so many interesting things about the vampire legends, and had known she would get a kick out of it."

"So, this woman was not affiliated with the tour she was on?" I interjected, deliberately avoiding whatever feelings of guilt he was now working through.

"No," he said, his eyes lighting up with intensity. "She said this woman was a local tour guide who worked with some of the organized tours that came through the city. There's no way this woman actually was, though, because this was the first I had heard about this: it was not something mentioned by the police, the tour organizer, anyone. I now felt I knew enough that I could go over there myself, but I also had a very strong feeling that I couldn't go over *as* myself, and I think that paranoia actually ended up saving my life, in the end. But, I'm getting ahead of myself. Anyway, I put my computer skills to work and drummed up a fake identity and passport. I left the United States as myself, and flew to London. There, I left Heathrow, made some disguise adjustments, and took a new flight to Italy under my new identity. I booked my Italian trip on a group tour, just like my mother had. although I had no intention of staying with the group." He looked at me, his eyes burning with some sort of inner fire. "From the moment I set foot in that town, I knew something was wrong. I could just feel it, like hidden eyes watching me all the time. It was intensely creepy, but I had planned very well, and stuck to that plan."

"What was your plan?" I asked, leaning forward, now totally enthralled in the story.

His voice lowered, "Well, I knew I had to try and find that mystery woman, and I had to do it in a way that didn't attract attention to myself."

"How'd you do that?" My fingers clenched the edge of the sofa cushion, and I quickly released them as I started to hear a quiet tearing noise.

He laughed mirthlessly, "I looked for the most obnoxious American couple that I could find."

At my surprise, he continued. "I figured if whoever was doing this was targeting foreigners, there was no way they'd be able to resist taking a couple of super-annoying American tourists. Have you ever been to Europe?" Surprised by the sudden address, I shook my head in a negative fashion. He continued, "We aren't exactly well-regarded for our polite, quiet, and respectful natures over there. And let me tell you, they weren't difficult to find ... in fact, I had my pick of whom the most annoying, obnoxious, and loud might be. It actually made my life a little easier, because Volterra is not a large city by any means, and I did not want to get "made" either by the people I was tailing, or the unknown element that would also be tailing them. I did my best to blend in, which mostly comprised of sitting at outdoor cafes, drinking coffee and reading quietly. On the second day that I was there, jackpot. I saw the American couple that I was looking for. From where I was sitting, several buildings away, they sounded like they were from Long Island, and as I surreptitiously watched them, they were approached by one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen. A terrible beauty, now that I think about it, the kind you imagine that a goddess would have right before she struck you down. I had to actively make sure I did not stare, or attract her attention in any way, since I knew this was my chance! She told them that she had a couple of seats in a local afternoon tour open up, and wanted to know if they would be interested in buying tickets - at half-price, of course. Well, apparently never ones to turn down a bargain, these two, they agreed readily and she told them to meet her by the big fountain in the town square in 20 minutes. I immediately paid my bill and started strolling down the street. I heard the couple approach me from behind, they were pretty hard to miss. They shoved their way past me on their way to rejoin this woman, and I started after them, taking my time. I arrived at the town square about five minutes before that beautiful woman had told them to meet, and saw them join up with a group of about ten other people. The horror I felt at that moment made me sit down on the closest bench, because I knew, I just knew all of these people were about to die. I felt physically ill, knowing that just a few weeks before, my mother had been part of that fell group. If I could have ripped a hole in time, and snatched her out of that place, I would have. Luckily the tears that I could feel welling up in my eyes were hidden by my sunglasses, which I had thankfully put on, even though it was somewhat overcast, and I quickly pulled my book up in front of my face to hide the horrified expression which I'm sure was plastering my face."

Edwin paused, eyes closed, one tear leaking down the right side of his face. "Excuse me for a minute," he whispered. I sat, frozen, wanting him, needing him to go on.

"I felt, more than heard, the woman approach. And she began to speak to the group. Her voice, oh, I hadn't really noticed it before because the American couple had been almost yelling over her by the cafe, but now, in this open space, I could hear her. It was beautiful, rapturous. Again, I had to be very careful to stay aware of my surroundings, to not lose myself in that siren call. Because I was trying so hard to appear to be not listening to her, I think that's why I noticed the guys in capes."

"Capes? Like Batman?" I said in startled confusion, the mental image briefly pulling me out of my thrall.

"No, just these heavy grey capes. Made them blend into the shadows. It was an overcast day, like I said, but not that chilly, which is why I first picked them out. There were two, that I could see at least, standing off in a darkened alley just to the right of the clock-tower. They were watching the woman like a hawk. Seemingly sensing my gaze, though, one of them turned and looked right at me. I can't even describe the physical feeling that hit me then, I must have had that deer-in-the-headlights look, because the guy looking at me smiled. Nothing scared me more than that smile. I knew I had to get out of there, before I started attracting more unwanted attention to myself." He shivered. "I managed to somewhat pull together, realizing that if I got up and ran away, they would definitely know something was up. So, I pulled my book up in front of my face, and pretended to continue reading. As I half-watched around the side of my book, the woman herded everyone together, leading them into a doorway in the clock-tower building. She was already speaking in a loud tour-guide voice, which is how I could even understand what she was saying. After the door closed on the last person, the two in cloaks slipped in behind them."

"What did she say?"

"She was talking about the history of the town, and promised to show them some of the oldest, most historic parts of the building they were entering. She spoke of their being able to see a beautiful tower at the end of their tour, where they would be treated to some food and drink. No, wait, her exact words were 'there will be a small reception with food and drink.'"

This time, I shivered. Edwin noticed, remarking, "Scary stuff, huh? Makes you start to evaluate the idea of things that go bump in the night."

"And then what happened?" I said, dreading the answer.

"Nothing." At my surprised look, he added. "I mean, nothing. I never saw that group of tourists again. Period. I stuck around outside for as long as I dared, and no one ever came back out of that building, or any other nearby building, as far as I could tell. I made sure to really walk around the next morning, certain that I wouldn't be able to miss that American couple, but I never saw them, although every now and again I would catch a glimpse of one of those cloaked guys. I was supposed to remain in Volterra for another two days, but that night when I returned to my hotel room, I knew someone had been through it. Everything was the way I had left it, except for a couple of items that I knew had been moved. Honestly, I have never been more afraid in my entire life, and I think they wanted me to know that they had been there. A warning of sorts. Luckily, I had kept my real passport and all identifying information on me, so there was nothing for them to discover except for the fake identity I had used to book my room. Also, during this time I had bought some books on the town to read while I was waiting, and it was when I stumbled once again across the legend of the founders driving out the vampires of the town that I got this very cold feeling in the pit of my stomach. It didn't make sense, though, because everything I had seen had happened during the day. I can only assume the woman, and the two in cloaks were human servants of these vampires that I now believed ran this town."

My stomach unclenched slightly from where I had thought this conversation had been going. "Human servants, hmmm." I gave him my best skeptical look. "Do you have any other proof that the Volturi are actually vampires, though?"

"You mean, other than the fact that outsiders have a tendency to disappear, and no one ever sees them in the day time? I know that's what they are ... I can't explain it, but I can feel it in my gut." He was looking at me so intensely by this point that I had to consciously make an effort to sit still and not pull back.

He finally blinked, and seemed to remember where we were, and that I was a stranger whom he had most likely just scared the crap out of - and not just because I thought there might be vampires. "Sorry," he apologized with a small smile, "I don't think I've told that story in its entirety to anyone. I didn't mean to freak you out."

"It's okay," I responded, with the most reassuring answering smile that I could muster, "although I have to ask ... do you really want me to spread this information? I mean, considering how you feel about the Volturi's reach?"

"I think I do. I've been sitting in this trailer every day since I returned, always on the move, never staying anywhere more than a night or two. It's no life, and I'm getting to the point where I would rather let the chips fall where they may. Maybe it'll make things better."

I sat in silence, watching Edwin, who was once again staring out the window. His story had raised all sorts of disturbing questions that I needed to think about, but I wanted to get out of there, first. He turned abruptly to me, picking up a stack of books on the chair next to him. "Here," he said, "I wasn't going to lend these out, but I think you might find them interesting. They are my books on Volterra, with my notes inside. You can borrow them, if you still think you're going to write this paper."

"But, wait," I objected, "I thought you didn't want me to take anything away from here?"

"Yeah, I didn't, before I met you, but I'm getting one of those gut-feelings again ... it seems like the right thing to do."

"Well, thank you. I'll bring them right back, if that's okay."

"No, just hang on to them for awhile. I'll be on the move, soon - maybe even tomorrow, if the weather doesn't get too bad."

"Then how should I get them back to you?" I responded.

"Just send me another email when you're done. I'll give you a P.O. Box to send them to." He sighed heavily, his thoughts obviously still half-a-world away.

"Okay, well, thanks again, I guess." I glanced out the window, where the snow had started to really pick up. "Huh. I better get going while I can still find my way back to my car."

That snapped Edwin out of it. "You gonna be okay?" he asked, looking at me with concern, "because you can crash here if you think you might not be able to get out. I mean, I'm not the type a guy who leaves a girl stranded in the woods in the wintertime."

_Oh, please no_. I liked Edwin well-enough, and he hadn't turned out to be as much of a crack-pot as I was afraid of - not knowing the truth as I did, at least, but I was so not staying in this stinky trailer. And god-forbid that I would actually do something to either attract his suspicion, or even to accidentally harm him. _No way, Jose_. I kept my expression relaxed, unconcerned. "Oh, don't worry - the trees are keeping the bulk of the snow off the trail for now, but I probably shouldn't wait."

"Okay," he said doubtfully, "but if you run into trouble, just come back."

I smiled, knowing how hard it must be for someone that paranoid and reclusive to extend their hospitality. "Thanks, but I'll be fine," I said, standing to put on my gloves, and gathering the books under my arm. I moved to the door and walked down the couple of steps, turning once I was on the ground. "Bye, Edwin, it's been really great meeting you. Thanks for helping me."

"No problem," he replied, shivering as he leaned out the door slightly, "remember to email me when you're done with the books. Or, if you run across any trouble or anything weird. Anything weird, okay?" He seemed to press the words into my brain with his sudden intensity. I was briefly touched that he would feel such concern for a stranger, but I actually knew the kind of danger he was up against, and if I had really been human, the concern would not have been misplaced.

I waved and smiled, and headed quickly back into the woods, my brain already working feverishly over the information I had just gotten, glad that I would have the entire night to pour over Edwin's books and notes. I made it back to Matt's car and managed to get it turned around and on the road before the snow got so bad that I would have to carry it home. _And wouldn't that be a sight for poor old Edwin?_ I thought with a smile.


	9. Futures

Chapter 9: Futures

When I was first turned, I had worried that my immortality would mean that time would slow, become meaningless, one day bleeding into another into one long, endless existence. I couldn't have been more wrong. Instead, time was swiftly rushing water, and I was apparently the rock midstream, unmoving and unchanging, as the world revolved at a blinding pace around me. In my little pocket of the universe, October had turned into November, and Thanksgiving break was already looming on the horizon. My time was spent in an endless cycle of studying, going to class, hunting, and thinking. I had gone over Edwin's papers many times, noting with concern how close he had come to the truth of things. Luckily, he still seemed to be laboring under the misconceptions about vampires put forward by popular culture, such as being unable to go out in sunlight, aversion to religious items, and so on. Having met him, I felt sorry for him, horrified at what my own kind could do. I thought about the despair that would have most likely engulfed me if I didn't have such a strong example of goodness in the Cullen family. Still, it would be an understatement to say that I was less than thrilled to get confirmation that yes, I was a monster. I tried to find some silver lining to the knowledge, finally focusing on the fact that, at the very least, I wouldn't be caught off-guard by the actions of the Volturi when I arrived in Italy.

More pressing matters were at hand, though. Even though I wasn't going home for Thanksgiving break, I knew that heading home for the holidays was soon after - and with it, my chance at Victoria. I had managed to somewhat put that out of my mind in the past few weeks, as I realized that, for the first time, I had been concentrating on my future more than my past. The realization had been a small, hopeful epiphany. Returning to immediate matters regarding Victoria, though, I was nervous. I'm not sure exactly why, since I wasn't afraid for my own safety - I knew that Jake and the rest of the wolves would keep me from harm. After many nights of contemplation, I decided it must be the simple fact of having the second most traumatic moment of my life thrown back in my face. As for the first most traumatic moment, well, I didn't have to revisit that yet, thankfully.

When Thanksgiving itself came, I was in my room, working on a paper for my Art History class. For once, Jacob actually called me.

"Hey, Bella! Happy Thanksgiving!"

"Hey Jake - um, does your dad know you're making a long-distance phone call?"

On the other end of the line, Jacob paused. "Uh, Bella, I'm not a child."

"No, but I don't think you have a job, either ... and tasks given to you by your werewolf pack don't count." I replied snappily.

"Wow, in a good mood today, I see," he remarked lightly.

I sighed. "No, I'm glad to hear from you ... I think I'm getting nervous about Winter Break." I didn't have to elucidate any more than that.

A low rumble came over the phone, "There's nothing to be nervous about, Bella - we've got your back. Time for Bloodsucker Smackdown!" he finished triumphantly.

A thread of tension broke and I laughed quietly. "I'm glad you're enthusiastic. It's not that I think I'm going to get hurt, or that I don't want to go after her. It's just that thinking about all this stuff is making me think about ... other things, too."

Jacob sighed, "I know, Bella. I promise, though, this is going to make you feel better. It'll be, you know, like therapy."

"Do you realize how messed up it is that we're talking about killing someone as therapy?"

"No, no, not someone - some THING. So, actually, it's kinda cool. Just think, for once in your life, you'll get to be the bad-ass action-star chick."

"This is so surreal," I muttered to myself.

Jacob barked a laugh. "Get used to it, babe. Trust me, you just gotta go with the flow."

I laughed, "Listen to you, zen-puppy!"

"ZEN-PUPPY?" came Jacob's indignant reply.

In the background, I heard laughter, as Jacob turned from the phone for a second. "Quil, dammit, I'm on the phone," I could hear him call over his shoulder.

I could also hear Quil's slightly muted response, "Your dad wants you to come help set up the tables ... zen-puppy." There was a brief yelp, and then the sound of something moderately heavy hitting a wall, and receding laughter. I snickered.

"Great," Jacob groaned, "He's going to go repeat that in front of everyone."

"Hey now, you brought it on yourself, babe."

"Okay, okay. Listen, Bells, apparently I gotta go. I'm sorry you're not here to hang out with everyone ... they all miss you, you know."

My chest tightened, "Yeah, I know. Same here. Tell everyone I said hi. I'll be home soon."

I could almost hear Jacob's smile, "You got that right, _babe_."

I was laughing when he hung up.

...

The first Monday after Thanksgiving break, I was hanging out in a shaded alcove near the Art History department office, trying, mostly in vain, to do the week's reading, since my thoughts kept veering towards my imminent return to Forks. My head was back against the wall, my eyes tipped upwards, idly tracing the gothic style decoration molded into the concrete, when I heard someone call my name.

"Hey, Bella!"

I started at the sound, not because I hadn't heard her walk up to me, but because no one, aside from Matt, ever intentionally engaged me in conversation. Bringing my gaze downward from the ceiling, I found myself looking at a girl who seemed vaguely familiar, until I realized that she was in my art history class, although she usually sat clear across the lecture hall from my spot in the back corner, closest to the door. She smelled sweet, like raspberry candy, with a hint of peppermint. I suppressed a small shudder at the fact that I now categorized the people I met by their scent. I did not know her name, though.

"Uh, hi?" I responded, somewhat lamely.

She obviously saw my poorly hidden confusion, because she quickly added, "I'm Anna - I'm in your art history class."

"Oh, yeah, that's right. Well, uh, nice to meet you." _Geez, Bella, could you get any more awkward?_ My brain quickly chastised me for my apparent loss of social skills. _Has it really been that long since you've had a conversation with a stranger?_

Anna smiled, genuinely smiled at me, and I felt my lips involuntarily twitch upwards in response. "No worries if you don't actually remember me - it's a big class."

If I were human, I would've blushed. "No, I'm not lying - I do know who you are. Are you also a freshman?"

"Junior, actually. Anyway, I wanted to introduce myself, since were about to spend a lot of time together." I must have once again looked perplexed, because she added, "In Italy."

My smile froze as I tried to hide the ice that gripped my heart at her words, images of Edwin's face as he told his story flashing through my mind. I made myself take a breath. I said as nonchalantly as I could, "Oh, you'll be in Volterra also?"

My minor panic attack seemed to pass unnoticed, as she replied in the same sunny manner, "Well, not as much as you will be, although there are a couple of pieces in the collection there that I want to take a look at. I'll be in Florence for the most part. I'm sure we'll see each other quite a bit, though!"

Weirdly enough, she looked at me happily while uttering that last statement, and once again, the infectiousness of her smile broke through the wall that I normally placed between myself and the other students.

"Well, cool," I said, surprised to find that I really meant it.

"Yeah," she added, "it's going to be so much fun, and I'm glad I'll have someone else to compare notes with about those lovely Italian boys," She raised her eyebrows suggestively. "Anyway, I have to run - nice to meet you, Bella! I'll send you an email over break, and we can coordinate."

With another blinding smile, she turned and headed out of the building, and I found myself still smiling slightly at empty space. The threads of worry that had begun to wrap themselves around me as we talked loosened a little, as I vowed to myself that nothing was going to happen to this girl because of me.

...

That night, I went for a run, not really focused on hunting, but because I found the cold night air, the crunch of leaves underfoot, and susurrations of the forest helped me clear my head. Although I didn't consciously mean to, I found myself following the same track through the forest most nights, ending up at a small pond ... in Vermont. It looked nothing like the meadow back in Forks, but somehow possessed the same otherworldliness that I associated with that place.

I slowed down as I approached, stopping at my favorite rock, a large flat piece of slate whose deep gray color blended with the murky water just beyond it. My meditation rock, as I had started to refer to it. I folded my legs quietly, leaning back on my palms as I watched the moonlight reflect off the water, picking out the silhouettes of some very brave ducks along the opposite shoreline. I always moved very slowly and quietly in this spot -for some reason the animals around here didn't seem to fear me quite as much, and so their presence made me once again feel truly connected to the world. If I was really lucky, I might spy a moose or a deer later on in the night. For the moment, the languid movement of the sleeping ducks and the reassuring chorus of crickets was enough.

It was only in this place that I now allowed myself to unrestrictedly think about the Cullens, about Edward, which is probably why I usually returned to it night after night. The surrounding peacefulness and life grounded me enough that I didn't feel so lost. Even though I knew it was a pointless exercise, I wondered what he was doing at that moment - was he listening to music, lost in Debussy or something similar? Or driving at breakneck speeds, a silver blur along empty, winding roads? I wondered if he ever played my lullaby on the piano. I thought about the rest of the Cullens, too, closing my eyes and imagining the sounds of their happy home. I could almost hear Emmett's booming laughter, Alice's dancing footsteps on the stairs, the mellow, hushed tones of Carlyle and Esme in a deep discussion somewhere in the living room. I pictured myself sitting in an empty room in the house, with the family that I so loved and missed just on the other side of the door.

I knew this kind of maudlin imagining probably wasn't healthy for me, but this place was so _other_, that I felt like it was safe to let myself feel all the things that would normally leave me aching with emptiness. Here, instead, I felt a semblance of peace, like for a moment it was simply okay knowing that they - that he - simply existed in this world, somewhere, even if it was not a part of my life. The thought of leaving this place behind soon, to return to Forks, and then to head to Italy, was bittersweet.

...

I instinctively took a deep breath as I stepped into the terminal, and then instantly regretted my decision, as I was overwhelmed with the scents of nearby humans. _It's like a long island iced tea of yummy smells_, my brain added unhelpfully.

I held my breath, and quickly found my way down towards the bag claim. As I stood on the top of the down escalator, I heard a loud, high-pitched whistle, which caught not only my attention, but also the attention of everyone in a 100 foot radius, including two airport cops. My head snapped to the right, and sure enough, there was Jacob, Quil, and Embry, the latter holding his fingers to his lips again, ready to emit another high-pitched shriek. They all caught my eyes at the same time, and I made an exaggerated slicing motion across my neck with my hand, nodding at the two cops who were slowly pushing their way through the hordes of baggage-seeking holiday travelers. Quil made a big show of slowly grabbing Embry's hands, which only caused Embry to yell out "That's it!" and turn towards Quil. As the escalator finally reached the bottom, I saw Jacob roll his eyes at the other two, who were now doing some sort of publicly abbreviated wrestling match by Bag Carousel 2. Not wanting to make a detour to the SeaTac jail, I quickly ran over. Fortunately, my appearance put enough of a stop to Quil and Embry's shenanigans to appease the cops, who were now just on the other side of the carousel. So instead of sweet-talking airport security, I found myself smushed in a two-way wolf hug between Quil and Embry.

"I missed you guys, too," I laughed. I took a step back, turning around, only to be swept off my feet by Jacob, who said loudly, "Boy, you're heavier than you look!" At my dirty glance in his direction, he whispered in my ear, "But I love that I can squeeze you as tight as I want to, and you won't break. I missed you, Bells."

I said nothing as I smiled back at him, and he put me down gently, for all his talk of my unbreakability. I glanced at all three of them, "You know, you really didn't have to come all the way out here to get me."

"What are you nuts?" Quil responded, "and miss the chance for a road trip? This never happens! Plus, it was a good excuse for Jake to take his new car for a spin."

My gaze flew to Jacob's. "New car, huh? Look at you, Mr. Fancypants."

Jacob looked down sheepishly, "Er, "new" might be taking it a little too far. How about "new to you," instead?"

...

New-to-me or not, Jake's car was amazing. It was a beautiful cherry-red '65 Ford Mustang that he'd apparently been working on in his garage since shortly after I left for school.

"You've done all this work in three months?" I exclaimed upon seeing it.

"Yup," Jake affirmed.

"Yeah, looks real good from the outside, doesn't it?" Embry snickered.

"Er, yeah, well, it has only been three months ... I'm still waiting for some replacement parts, obviously." Jacob muttered.

"Jake just wanted to impress you, though," Quil added, "He knew that a shiny outside would do the trick."

"Wow, Quil, I think you just managed to insult both Jacob and me in the same sentence!" I laughed. "I'm sorry I haven't been using all my new spare time to read all the _Car and Driver _magazines in existence."

"Well, you do have a lot of spare time now," I heard Quil murmur under his breath.

I rolled my eyes. "Alright, alright, if you guys give me one, I'll promise to read it," I capitulated, while Embry gasped in mock shock, clutching at his chest.

"Speaking of cars, can we go home now?" My eyes turned back to Jacob's car as I realized there was no possible way that myself, three werewolves, and my luggage were going to fit in it. "I call shotgun!" was my instinctive response.

Quil and Embry just chuckled. "Don't worry, Bella, we actually took two cars."

I shot them a look of disbelief. "Are you sure you guys are old enough to drive?"

"Res rules, Bella," was Jacob's reply, "But don't worry, I've put them in an indestructible tank." Before I could ask, Embry darted a few parking spaces over and I soon heard a familiar rumble. I had been so focused on the Mustang, that I hadn't even noticed my old truck sitting close by. I started laughing, "I can't believe that thing made it here!"

Jacob looked mildly insulted. "If you must know, I did some tune-ups while you were gone, in case you wanted it back while you were here. It runs better than it looks."

"I'm sure it does ... but we're going home in the Mustang, right?" The thought of hours spent slowly rattling back to Forks in my truck was not a pleasant one.

Jacob's response was to open the Mustang's passenger-side door, grandly gesturing me in.


	10. Victories

The drive home with Jake was fun. There's something to be said for two almost indestructible mythical beings in a classic muscle car on an empty highway. As Jacob veritably flew us home, we chatted about nothing serious ... I wasn't ready to start thinking about what awaited me once I actually got back to Forks.

As we cruised into Forks and headed towards Charlie's house, I mentally braced myself. Even this long after the fact, it was still difficult to look at my house without thinking about Edward. I couldn't even glance up at my old window without thinking about him sitting outside of it, watching and waiting to sneak in.

Jake pulled over to the side of the road just before the driveway. "Do you need anything from your room or the house, Bells?" he asked.

I turned to him, confused. "Am I not staying at home?"

Jacob smirked. "Nope."

"And Charlie's okay with that?" Ever since my change, Charlie had been uncomfortable around me, but I highly doubted he would let me come back to Forks for the holidays and not stay with him.

"Charlie's not there either."

I'm sure my confusion still showed through in my expression, but Jacob's eyes sparkled with mirth. "With everything that's been going on," he added, " we decided it would be better if you and Charlie stayed on the reservation. Not to mention that it'll be way more fun."

"And Charlie's okay with this?" I asked skeptically.

Jacob just chuckled. "Are you kidding? He's already been there two days and I've never seen him so happy. Billy's been joking about adopting him and making him an honorary Quileute."

"So, he's been staying with you guys?" My brow furrowed at the thought, since Billy's house was not that large, and sleeping in close quarters with my dad just seemed like a bad idea all around.

"Yeah," Jake replied, "But don't worry, you're not going to be sharing a room or anything. In fact, Emily was really hoping you'd stay with her and Sam."

At that statement, I smiled, since I had spent a lot of time with Sam and Emily after my change. I missed them both, but particularly Emily, who had not shied away from me, even in those early days. Quite the opposite, in fact, since she was instrumental in making me feel like I was still a person, still a girl - not a freak or a monster.

Since I really didn't need anything from home, I gestured Jake onwards. I was somewhat relieved that I wouldn't have to experience that moment of entering my room, my brain frantically searching for even the most remote trace of Edward, as if anything of him would be left after this amount of time. He did a pretty comprehensive job of eliminating all traces of himself from my life. After my change, I had wondered if my enhanced vampire senses would pick up on something, but by then, I think it had just been too long. Well, oddly enough, I thought I had caught a hint of his scent for a second one evening when I was lying on my floor, pasting together some photos to bring with me to college. But it was gone just as quickly, leading me to believe that I had most likely imagined the whole thing, just another product of wishful thinking.

As we approached the Black household, Jake slowly pulled around back and stopped the car. "Hang on for a second before you go in," he said.

"Now what?"

He jumped out of the car, and quickly took off the jacket he had been wearing for the entire ride. I had thought it was strange, since as long as he'd been a wolf, he no longer ever seemed cold. "Put this on," he said to me, handing me the jacket.

"Um, Jake, I'm already wearing a coat, and it's not like I even need that one."

"Yeah, but Bella, unless I'm totally off base, Charlie is going to want to hug you when he sees you, and you're COLD. And smell funny."

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks, you sure know how to make a girl feel good."

He smirked, but continued, "Seriously, the jacket will still be warm, and it'll tone down that Eau de Vampire that you always seem to be wearing. It'll be better for Charlie."

I sighed, but Jake was right. I knew that Charlie knew that something was obviously off about me, but it was still less stressful for him if I tried to make myself more human, even if I couldn't be the old Bella. So, I took off my coat and shoved it in my suitcase, and wrapped Jake's jacket around me. It wasn't just warm - it was an inferno, and it enveloped me totally.

"You look cute in that," he said unexpectedly.

"Thanks," I replied, "too bad it smells, though."

"Hah. Come on, Vampirella, let's go inside."

We trudged in the front door, only to find Charlie and Billy totally engrossed in a football game.

"Yes!" Charlie yelled, jumping up and pumping his fist in the air. Billy started clapping loudly.

"I take it someone just threw that funny-shaped brown ball at someone else, and he caught it?" I deadpanned.

"Bells!" Charlie exclaimed, my presence catching him off guard. "We didn't expect you guys for another half an hour, at least." He moved around the chair and, as Jake had predicted, grabbed me in a big hug. "I missed you, Bells. I want to hear all about school and everything." He paused and looked at me sheepishly, "Do you mind if we watch the rest of the quarter, though?"

"Not a problem," I chuckled, trying to keep my voice to normal human levels. "What you guys didn't take into consideration was that Jake was driving a Mustang. I'm sure Quil and Embry will be back in my old truck … eventually."

Charlie laughed, but his attention was quickly grabbed again by the game.

"I'm going to take Bella to drop off her stuff at Sam and Emily's, and then we'll be back," Jake stated.

"Sounds good, son," Billy replied. He had been watching me with a level stare since I came into the room, his face emotionless. "Good to see you, Bella," he added. I'm sure he was saying it for Charlie's benefit, but I replied with a smile anyway, "You, too, Billy - keep an eye on that one," I nodded towards Charlie. Billy chuckled briefly. "Always do, always do."

"Come on Bella, I'm pretty sure Emily baked some cookies for you." Jake pulled my arm back towards the door. Once we were outside, I turned to him, "Jake, I can't eat cookies. You know this."

"I know," he replied with a smirk, "but I can."

He dodged out of the way as I tried to swat him playfully, and then we both got back into the car.

After we made the short drive to Sam and Emily's house, I got out of the car and started to take off his coat, seeing as how I didn't really need it anymore.

"Keep it on," Jacob said quietly. "Even though we're pretty safe here, we don't want to tip Victoria off yet to the fact that you're here, or that you're, well, a vampire. It'll help mask your scent."

"Okay, I can understand why her not knowing I'm here is a good thing, but she has to know that I'm a vampire, Jake. I mean, she bit me."

"Yeah, well, it didn't take last time, you remember? She knows that her boyfriend, or whatever, bit you, too."

"But I didn't change only because of an immediate intervention by Carlisle and Edward," I interrupted. Jacob's gaze flattened slightly at my mention of the Cullens.

"Yeah, but does _she_ know what happened?"

I really thought about it for a second. "Maybe not," I mused.

"Even though I seriously doubt we're going to have any trouble with her, we're trying to keep as much from her as possible. Like, I know she's smelled us, but I don't think she really understands what we are, either."

"Yeah, god forbid a vampire should ever believe in werewolves," I muttered.

At that moment, Emily burst out the front door. "Bella!" she exclaimed happily, "I'm so glad you're here! I hope you'll stay with us." She ran up and hugged me, and I carefully hugged her back.

"Of course, I'll stay, Emily. It'll be nice to have some girl-time, too. Please tell me you aren't watching football."

She laughed, "Of course not, I'm watching the cooking channel. Come on in!"

"Hey!" Jacob exclaimed, "What am I? Chopped liver?"

Emily rolled her eyes at him. "Like I don't see you everyday, twice a day. Come on in, I just made some cookies." Jake looked at me triumphantly, and I had to stifle a laugh.

...

I had been back home for a couple of days, just hanging out with everyone, thankful for the perpetually overcast skies of the Pacific Northwest in winter. My third night there, though, I knew it was time for me to hunt, if I was going to continue to spend time close to any humans. I was sitting out on the porch, tying my sneakers, when Jake jogged up, his eyes gleaming.

"Jake, I think I need to -" I started, but he quickly cut me off.

"Hunt, I know. And guess what we just found?" he added excitedly. At my gesture, he continued, "She's back."

The nerves that had been plaguing me at Dartmouth returned with a fury. "You're sure?" I said, even though I knew the answer.

"Yup. I came to get you since I knew you'd want to head out anyway. You need to learn her scent, and you can grab some deer while we're at it."

"It's so weird that you make it sound like we're going to swing by McDonalds." I muttered quietly.

Jacob chuckled at my statement, but was obviously too wound up to banter back and forth. "Put on my jacket, and let's go."

I grabbed the jacket from the back of the couch inside the house, and by the time I had returned to the porch, Jake was in wolf form. He huffed impatiently, and turned towards the tree line.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," I said, jogging after him, "Don't get your panties in a bunch." He made the equivalent of a wolfy laugh, and started picking up the pace.

We flew through the forest, and it wasn't long before I could tell we had been flanked by some of the other wolves. Quil and Embry, most likely. I could hear them, but couldn't quite glimpse them through the trees. All of a sudden, Jacob stopped in front of a huge tree. He turned back to me and whined.

"What is it, Lassie? Is Timmy up the tree?" I heard one of the other wolves make a coughing sound suspiciously like laughter. Jake actually rolled his eyes, and bumped his nose against the bark. I walked up to the tree and took a deep breath. The strongest scent was that of the woods, of earthy, damp ground and green, living things. Then, I could smell Jacob, who had just touched the bark. Underneath that, though, there was something else … a thread of scent, sweet and unnatural, with an unpleasant tang to it. I turned to face Jacob, my eyes wide. "That's her." It was a statement, not a question. Jake was obviously waiting for me to say something else, so I breathed in deeply once again. The scent was not strong, but at the same time did not feel old, or faded. I looked back at him again, a slight tremor of alarm passing through my body. "It's recent, huh?" Then everything clicked into place. "She was up on one of the branches for a little while, maybe in the past day or so."

Jake yipped his approval, moving restlessly.

"Where did she go?" I mused out loud, looking up into the dark framework of branches overhead.

I felt a gentle, warm tug on my hand, as Jacob gently pulled me deeper into the woods. He obviously had the scent, although now that I knew what I was looking for, so did I. We followed a meandering path through the woods, eventually coming out right at First Beach. The trail disappeared into the water.

I stood at the waterline, staring outwards into the dark churning depths of the Pacific Ocean, briny spray misting my face. After a moment I looked back at Jacob, who was panting happily, his tongue lolling out of his mouth.

"So, now what's the plan?" I asked.

Jacob came right up to me and head butted me in the stomach, making a funny growling sound. I had to laugh. "Is that really what my stomach sounds like? Somehow, I doubt it. You're right, though, it's time to eat. I'll race you!"

And I took off into the forest, Jacob right at my heels.

...

The next day, Jacob came to get me again. As we walked into the woods, he began talking.

"Now that you're here, we want to plan out some strategies for luring her in. Up until this point, we've just been waiting, keeping an eye out, mostly playing defense. But that's about to change. " He began to jog, "Come on, we're going back to the beach to meet up with everyone."

"Everyone" turned out to be the entire pack. While Sam was Alpha, Jacob had obviously risen in the pack hierarchy, and, given my role in all of this, Sam was letting Jake take the lead in terms of planning the whole "Operation Victoria," as I mentally referred to it now.

I sat on a log and prepared to listen.

"So, what do we know about this bloodsucker?" Jake began.

"She SUCKS!" came a reply from the gathered throng, followed by some snickering.

"Seriously, you guys," Jake rolled his eyes, "this is it. Now that Bella's here, we can end this."

"We could have always ended this," someone muttered on the other side of the circle. Jake turned hard eyes in that direction. "Do you see her?" He gestured in my direction forcefully. I made a conscious effort to keep my head up, and not duck and hide my eyes, as I wanted to. "That bloodsucking bitch out there did this to Bella, to a human. On our turf. We dropped the ball, and Bella's lucky that she survived. Yes, she might be a vampire now, but we get to use that, and she gets her revenge. It's only fair that we waited for her, that we support her - it's the least we can do. We should feel lucky that she's willing to help _us_."

His speech was short, but there were many murmurs of assent as he finished. I would have blushed if I could. Jake looked at me expectantly, so I felt like I should get up and say something, if I wanted to be taken seriously as an equal in this whole endeavor.

"Thanks, everyone, for your support. I don't blame you guys in the slightest for what happened to me - and I really appreciate everything that you've done for me and my family and friends since then. Jake, you asked what we know about Victoria? Well, she wants me, plain and simple. So, now that I'm here, and have your help, we can work together to end this, and make this town, this land safe again."

"Yeah, Bella!" I could hear Embry yell, "Let's kick some bloodsucker ass!"

I started to sit, but then thought of something. "I think you guys should use me as bait," I added. "She won't be able to resist." I sat down.

Jacob grinned at me from across the circle. "Great minds think alike. Especially since you're way more indestructible now, and can be part of the team. This is what we came up with: I'll grab some clothing from your house - some that still smells like pre-vampire you. We can each take it and make a path through the forest, rubbing it on trees, and so on, just like if you had gone through the woods as a human. Then, at the end of the trail, you'll actually be there. And so will we. We can surround her while she's focused on you ... and then the fun starts."

The end of Jake's speech was drowned out in a cacophony of howls, cheers, and whistles. Jacob met my gaze, and I smiled. I hadn't heard the plan before, but it was simple. And it just might work.

...

Over the next day, we hammered out the details. Billy would keep Charlie indoors and out of the line of fire. A couple of the younger wolves would stick around to make sure no one else got hurt. The wolves would take some of my clothing to leave a strong scent trail. They wanted to start doing that immediately, to try and lure Victoria in to the area of the woods that we wanted, so that there was a better chance she'd be in the area when I was actually there. I would have to put on some old clothing, too, since I still needed to smell like me at the end of the trail, hopefully pulling off the charade of me as possibly human for as long as possible. I wasn't too worried about that part, though. I knew Victoria was obsessed enough that she would come after me, vampire or human.

When we were deciding on where to actually stage our ambush, I said quietly, "I know where we should do this." I knew it had to be off reservation land, to lull her into a false sense of security. She had to believe it was me, and that the location I was in made sense. So, I said to Jacob, "There's a path that leads into the woods from my house. If you walk about a quarter-mile in, there's a small clearing. I think it'll be perfect."

Jacob was silent, since I knew he had seen the clearing in Sam Uley's head from the night Sam found me in the woods. _That _night. There was an odd sense of poetic justice in the fact that Victoria would meet her end in the same location where I had truly met mine, over a year ago. Blinking out of my momentary reverie, I realized that Jacob had come up and slung an arm around my shoulder. "It's perfect, Bells. She's going to pay." I knew that he realized I would be taking out my revenge on more than just Victoria, if we were in that particular place in the woods. There were no words for how much I appreciated his support, and my eyes pricked, as if with tears, even though it was no longer possible for me to cry.

Jake insisted that I be the one to strike the first blow, although I wasn't as sold on that point. But he was adamant, telling me that I had come so far, that it was the best way to get some closure. At this point, I'd take any closure I could find, so I finally concurred. Deciding that there was no reason to wait, we planned on laying out our trap the next day. Which meant that I had to go back to the house and get some of my old clothing for Jacob to bring back to the pack. Thankfully, without any prompting on my part, Jacob came with me.

As I unlocked the front door, I tried to keep the memories at bay. Not only the ones involving Edward and the other Cullens, but the ones from after as well. Jacob followed me silently in and shut the door behind him. "You want some help?" he asked, and I knew he wasn't asking about picking out clothes.

"I'll be okay, Jake, thanks," I replied.

I went upstairs into my old bedroom. I'd only been in college for a few months, but I already felt so separate from it, like it was simply a remnant of my childhood once again, a memento of a former life.

I opened my closet door and turned on the light. I still had plenty of clothing here, although it was mostly sweats and stuff like that. I dug through the closet, finally coming up with a pair of jeans. I grabbed a couple of hoodies and a handful of t-shirts.

After I had enough clothing, I stopped for a moment in the center of the room and turned slowly around, taking everything in. I was sure I'd be back at some point, but not for long, and never again to stay. A thousand memories assailed me as I looked at everything in the room: my bed, the chair that my old quilt once sat on, my dilapidated old computer. I took a couple of steps to the window and looked out, thinking about how many times I had done that before, trying to get a glimpse of Edward, knowing he was out there somewhere. This time, though, everything just felt empty. I shivered, and turned to go back downstairs.

As we walked away from the house, I gave Jacob some of the clothes I had grabbed, keeping enough that I could fully dress myself the next day. We decided that I should walk into the woods in the early evening, to give her time to "discover" my scent, and so that I would have the impending darkness as another motivating factor to lure her in. As we headed back to the reservation, we said little, but I could feel Jacob's restlessness, as the end to this whole saga was finally in sight. At least for him.

...

The planets seemed to be aligned in our favor, since the next day, an early morning scout found traces of Victoria around my house. Whichever wolf had found it had immediately backed off, since we hadn't come this far just to spook her. It gave me the creeps to know she was so close, though.

So, early evening, Operation Victoria went into effect. The plan was for me to go ahead alone, with the wolves waiting a short distance away, downwind. They had already made some runs through the woods the night before with my clothing, so the path already smelled like me. Or, human me, as it were. Once I detected that Victoria was in the immediate area, or once she actually confronted me, I would send a text message to Jacob that would alert the wolves to head in. He was going to remain in human form until he got my message, then shift quickly to lead the wolves to our spot. In the meantime, I just had to keep her occupied until the furry cavalry arrived.

As my feet crunched along the path at an excruciatingly slow human pace, it was hard for me not to relive that last walk into the woods with Edward. My heart clenched with every step that I took, an earthquake of pain tremored along the fissure line in my chest. In some ways, it felt like no time had passed; instead, I could be a ghost, reliving the same moment over and over again for eternity. I held my hands out, gently touching the leaves and bark of the trees on either side of me. _If only I could bleed on them somehow_, I thought, _it would be perfect_. Still keeping up with the "possibly human" charade, I purposefully stumbled as I came into the clearing, catching myself hard on a log on the side of the trail.

To increase my appeal, I was wearing headphones, listening to my MP3 player. I had a journal tucked under my arm, and a satchel with snacks slung over my right shoulder. I had even put on makeup to disguise the perfection of my vampire skin. My cellphone was in hand, ready to send the text to Jacob. I decided to use that moment to take a break and pretend to tie my shoe, and then rummage around in my pack for some food. Right as I pulled an apple out of my bag, I heard the feather-light sounds of feet hitting the ground behind me. I resisted the urge to react, instead pretending nothing was amiss. However, I clicked the SEND button on my phone in one smooth movement, dropping it into my bag as I turned around.

Victoria was about five yards away from me, staring in my direction with a broad smile on her face. I pretended to jump in surprise when I saw her.

"Well, well, you've been harder to track down than I imagined," she drawled.

"I moved away," was my quiet reply.

She cocked her head at me, regarding me intently for a moment. "You smell ... different," she said, slight puzzlement on her face.

"Do I?" I responded, stalling.

"Yes, I didn't pick up on it at first, but it would appear that you didn't quite escape from our last little meeting un_changed_."

I remained silent and backed up slowly, pretending to look around for a means of escape.

"I have to say, I am impressed with your control for one so young. Your clan must be proud of you."

I was sure she'd already been by the Cullen household and seen that they hadn't been there in a long time, so her comment puzzled me slightly, although I didn't let it show. I didn't respond, trying to look unsure and nervous, which wasn't that hard, actually.

"The eyes threw me for a moment, too. It would seem you share their preference for _vermin_." Her face twisted in disgust as spoke. I slowly kept moving, backing up, keeping her in front of me, well out of arm's reach. It was at that moment that I felt the hair on the back of my neck prickle, and in one synchronized movement, a circle of massive wolves appeared, emerging like ghosts from the shadows. I mentally breathed a sigh of relief. I was impressed that I hadn't heard them approach.

Their appearance seemed to startle Victoria, who apparently hadn't heard them either. She quickly plastered a haughty expression on her face. "Interesting ... pets," she spat out, earning a warning rumble from Jake, who was visible just to her right.

"My friends, you mean?" I asked sweetly.

She sneered at me. "Somehow it doesn't surprise me you're hanging out with these animals. It's a good thing you won't exist past today - you're an embarrassment to all vampire-kind," she said with disdain.

For some reason, _that _was the comment that finally set me off, and I bared my teeth at her in a cruel approximation of a grin. "I would never want to be like you in a million years," I ground out, "You're a waste of space, a waste of a gift, a waste of a life. All you do is destroy."

She laughed, tucking a piece of fire-red hair behind her ear. "Oh, our little girl's finally got some backbone. Too little, too late, though."

Through my slowly building haze of anger, I decided that I'd give her one last chance, a final gesture to the peace that Carlisle had worked so hard to establish and keep. "Victoria, you're obviously outnumbered here. This is your last chance to let this go, to just move on with your life." My comment earned me an irritated growl from Jacob, who clearly did not appreciate my last-ditch attempt at diffusing the situation.

Her eyes gleamed with madness and rage. "You'd like that, wouldn't you? To strip me of my vengeance? To take away what is mine by RIGHT!?" she ended with a shout.

I shook my head, realizing there was only going to be one possible outcome from this encounter. "What is it with you people?" I muttered. "Does having an endless existence mean you get caught up in the most medieval of pursuits? I did nothing to you ... ever!"

"But your mate did, and now I will inflict the same on him." Victoria answered angrily. She kept turning slowly in a circle, her eyes darting every which direction, looking for the slightest indication of weakness in our circle.

I saw Jacob bristle slightly at that comment. I just sighed and said flatly, "I have no mate, Victoria. If you had really looked around for just one moment, you would have seen that."

Undaunted, she looked me straight in the eye. "Yes, you do, you stupid girl. Even I'm not that blind. And he will pay. Nice try, though," she added snottily.

I shoved down the feelings of confusion and sorrow that her statement provoked. It wasn't worth arguing - she would never accept the truth that if I had a mate, he would have been there at that moment, that I would never have been alone.

"But this chase has been _so _fun," she smirked as she continued her show of bravado, "that I think I won't just stop at you. The fun with newborns is that you are still connected to your human life. Your father lives in this town, so do your friends. I think it's fitting that I honor James's memory by hunting every last one of them. This is not over, Bella Swan," she finished with a hiss.

I looked at her in that moment, at the anger twisting her features, the obsessive need to destroy etched over her entire body. I glanced over at Jacob and nodded almost imperceptibly. At my signal, both Quil and Embry shot forward, flanking her, and each bit down on one of her arms, pinning her in place. I stepped forward the last ten paces, placing my hands almost gently on either side of her head. I looked her in the eyes and saw the first flickering of true panic, as she realized she wasn't going to escape. This time, I couldn't find the same compassion in myself that I had felt last time we were this close. "Yes, Victoria, it is," I said calmly, and then ripped her head off with a violent twist.

Before I could even process what was happening, the wolves were all over her, ripping, tearing, howling in celebration and victory. I stumbled backwards to get out of their way, tripping on a tree root as I did so. Before I could stop my fall, arms immediately caught me. I hadn't even seen him slip away, but suddenly Jacob had appeared behind me, back in human form, just in time to stop me from becoming the clumsiest vampire in history. Keeping me upright, Jake wrapped his arms around me from behind, and rested his chin on my shoulder. We stood there silently, watching the rest of the pack finish off what remained of Victoria. Shortly after, a few members shifted back to start a large bonfire, and then both human and wolf began pitching vampire pieces into the roaring flames.

"How are you feeling, Bells?" Jacob asked softly. I hadn't moved, hadn't even taken a breath.

"I feel ... I don't know, Jake. Relieved and sad, I guess. I just killed someone. It's a lot to process."

"I'm proud of you," Jacob responded, and I could tell from the warmth in his voice that he meant it. "You stood up for yourself, for your family, for your friends. Don't ever forget that she had a choice, and she chose to come after you."

"I guess so." I replied quietly.

"And, technically, she wasn't dead until we ripped her into tiny pieces and threw her into the fire."

The thought of Victoria somehow reassembling herself from tiny parts made me shudder. Jacob laughed, breaking the solemn mood. "What is this?" he added playfully, "Do we have a squeamish vampire?"

I turned and smacked him on the shoulder. "You're just lucky you're on my good side, mister," I said as I nodded toward the now dwindling flames.

Jacob smirked and held his hands up in surrender. "Yes, ma'am, whatever you say, ma'am". I rolled my eyes at him, but couldn't keep the answering smile off my lips.

Right then, Embry and Quil ran over, as humans, their words coming out so fast over one another that I doubt I would have been able to untangle them without my vampire hearing.

"Bella that was so awe-"

"You were amaz-"

"I can't believe that you ripped her head-"

"Did you see the look on her face when-"

"We totally have to do that again-"

Jacob snickered. "See," he said to me, "everyone agrees that you kick ass, Bella. They'll all be talking about you at our next bonfire get together."

I shuddered slightly, "Always what I wanted to be ... a cautionary campfire tale."

Jacob just laughed in reply, throwing an arm around my shoulder as we turned back towards home.


	11. Travels

Chapter 11: Travels

"Scusi, Miss?"

Amid the cacophony of the Florence airport baggage claim, my eyes snapped open. I had heard the large Italian man approach, reeking of coffee, grease, and old sweat. _If only every human smelled this way_, I thought,_ I'd never have to worry about slipping again._ I wrinkled my nose, realizing with slight dread that this person must be my driver.

"Bella?" he enquired again.

"Si" I replied, smiling slightly.

"Bella - che bella!" He laughed at his own witticism.

Years of polite behavior drilled into me prompted my answering smile, while I briefly considered running all the way to Volterra instead of getting in a vehicle with this guy.

"Viene questo senso, prego," he said as he picked up my bag and gestured me towards the baggage claim exit.

"Che cosa è il vostro nome?" I said, realizing that I didn't know who this man was, and that I was quickly reaching my limit of known Italian.

"Benizio - eh, you call me Beni?" he replied, his halting English almost becoming a question.

"Beni," I replied, with yet another smile. _I can at least pretend to sleep in the car_, I thought, somewhat reassuringly.

I stopped suddenly as I remembered something else, though. "'Scusi, ah, dove è Anna?"

"Ah!" he replied with a grin, "Arriverà domani!"

I was relieved at his response, since it put off the potential perfect storm of myself, the Volturi, and Anna in the same vicinity. I would have to make an effort to minimize any time she spent in Volterra - but it was one less thing for me to worry about for the moment. And I had plenty of things to worry about.

...

The drive went by fairly quickly, all things considered. It didn't seem to matter whether I pretended to sleep or not, since my driver chattered the whole ride there in a weird pidgin of Italian and English. I spent the drive thinking about the last few days I had in Forks before I departed for Italy. Surprisingly, Charlie had never suspected that anything was amiss. In fact, he insisted to Billy that we should spend every Christmas on the reservation. I think my move to the east coast had reminded him how lonely the house was when he was by himself. Billy, on the other hand, was a tiny bit more relaxed around me, which made me happy for Jacob in particular. I knew that he felt caught in the middle between us. I had done my best to enjoy the remaining days I had with the pack and with Charlie and Emily, but I felt restless, knowing what was looming on the immediate horizon. I had hoped that removing Victoria from the picture would grant me a measure of peace, but I honestly did not feel that different. It was just one more unreal thing in a string of unreal occurrences, going all the way back to Edward's departure. Or, maybe going all the way back to when I first moved to Forks. Sometimes, I worried for my own sanity.

My reverie was broken as we crested a hill, and a city with tall stone walls suddenly appeared before us, lit up by the day's last rays of sunlight.

"Ah!" Benizio exclaimed, "C'è Volterra! Beautiful, no?"

"Si," I echoed, dread swiftly settling in my gut. _You're a vampire, Bella_, I kept trying to reassure myself, _these are your people now_. It didn't really help. In no time at all, we reached the city walls, where to my surprise, the driver pulled off the road and stopped the car. He looked back at me from the driver's seat, "Eh, I can no go in." It took me a second to grasp his meaning, as my first reaction was that my driver somehow also knew about the real inhabitants of this city. Then I realized that he was talking about the line of cars waiting to get through the narrow opening in the wall.

"Um, okay?" I replied, the question evident in my tone. "Where do I go? Uh, dove ... devo andare?"

"Ah! In gate," he gestured ahead of us, "then you ask, Palazzo Volturi. You find, nessun problema."

Thanking the driver, I got out of the car and grabbed my bags from the trunk, grateful that the sun had set in the interim, although the sky was still bright. Remembering to act human, I pulled out the handle on my suitcase and started rolling it into town. As I passed under the heavy stone arch, I truly felt like a door was closing behind me, as one part of my life ended and another began. I was afraid, yet felt the stirrings of excitement. The Volturi had always seemed like bogey-men to me, but now they were about to become my first real encounter with a new set of vampires, and I wondered if I would find a place among them. A tiny voice in my head whispered, _They're also your last link to the Cullens_. I mentally shoved that voice back.

I didn't make it more than twenty feet inside the gate before I felt someone watching me. Exactly how I knew that, I'm not sure, but I sensed a presence of some sort. I kept walking, and soon a smaller figure kept pace beside me. I had the uncomfortable feeling I was being herded in a certain direction, although I kept my demeanor relaxed.

"You're new," a flat voice stated. I bit back a knee-jerk snarky reply and glanced over at my new companion, a very young female vampire with lanky brown hair and dead-looking eyes. Her crimson gaze flickered in my direction, taking in my attire and the conspicuously rattling suitcase pulled behind me, then focused ahead again.

"Yes, I'm Isabella. I'm here from Dartmouth, to study the Volturi art collection." This earned me a fractional raising of the eyebrows, and slight shake of the head. I had a feeling this might be a big reaction for this girl. "And your name is ... ," I trailed off.

"Jane." _Not a chatterbox, I guess._

"Um, nice to meet you, Jane. Can you tell me where I should go?" Jane smirked and stopped, turning to gesture ahead of us at a stone building attached to a large clock-tower. "We're already here. It's too early, so let's go in this way. It's how they were expecting you to show up, anyway." Apparently that meant using the large, obsidian black, ornately carved wooden doors ahead of us. I didn't glance too closely at the carvings, although they looked to be some sort of illustration from Dante's Inferno. I shivered slightly.

"Are you ... cold?" Jane sneered.

_Kill 'em with kindness, Bella. _Right. Or,_ if you can't say something nice ..._ That was more like it. I merely stared back at her.

With a flicker of annoyance since I didn't respond to her dig, she pushed open the doors and led me into a small stone antechamber. Jane immediately turned right and headed down a dim hallway covered with ancient tapestries that depicted bloody battle scenes. The air smelled of dust and age, with eddies of sickly sweetness curling around a faint undercurrent of blood. If I'd still had a heart that beat, it would have been hammering outside my chest by that point.

I followed Jane through several twists and turns, the slope of the passageway indicating that were were heading down into the earth. Eventually, we ended up at another set of wooden doors. I could hear quiet conversation in both Italian and English taking place on the other side. "Leave your bag here," Jane commanded. The sickly sweet smell and the scent of blood were noticeably stronger in front of the entrance to this room, and hit me like a wall once Jane grabbed the heavy iron handle of one door and yanked it open with a crash.

"Jane, my dear, one of these days you're going to rip that door off its hinges," a startlingly beautiful voice chided from across the room. I followed the sound to its owner, who was making his way towards us through the now-silent crowd. _All vampires_, I realized with shock. _I've never seen so many vampires in one place_. Knowing I was going to be around a group of vampires and then actually finding myself in that group were two different things, I discovered.

"The American college ... girl ... is here," Jane drawled.

"Indeed!" exclaimed the vampire, fully visible as those closest to us took a respectful step back. As soon as I saw his face, I knew I was looking at the oldest vampire I had ever seen, maybe would ever see. Although physically he looked like he was in his mid-twenties, his skin was almost translucent, like rice paper with the not-quite-natural glow that vampire skin often took in indirect natural light. His eyes were obviously originally bright crimson, but had deteriorated to a film of milky pink with age. Where Edward had been cat-like in his movements, and Alice had been a dancer, this vampire radiated ease, the kind of ease that only comes from unchallenged, absolute power. _I know this vampire_, was my first thought, flashing back to the painting that Edward had shown me at his house as well as the one at Dartmouth.

I was very proud of myself. As he approached, I smothered my long-ingrained human reactions and did not fidget, even though every instinct was telling me to bolt.

He smiled at me beatifically, arms open in a welcoming gesture. "I am Aro," he proclaimed in ringing tones.

As someone completely unaware of vampire customs, I wasn't sure exactly how I should respond. Almost as if he could sense my hesitation, Aro extended his hand to me. _How very ... modern_, I thought. I looked Aro in the eye. "I am Isabella," I replied, as he grasped my right hand. A flicker of something ... surprise? apprehension? confusion? moved so quickly across his features that, if I didn't know the perfection of my vampire eyesight, I might've thought I imagined it. I felt even more uneasy.

"Ah, Isabella! You must tell me where you are from, and all about yourself!" Aro exclaimed. "Oh! but I am being such a bad host! Please sit" - he gestured to an ornate set of couches near one wall - "and let me get you something to drink! Felix! Please see what we have around for Isabella."

I had a feeling he wasn't about to offer me a glass of water ... or deer juice.

"No, no, I am fine," I quickly responded, "I, uh, just ate." Jane gave me a speculative look, but said nothing.

"As you like," allowed Aro expansively, "but please sit. I am _so _looking forward to hearing all about you." Without checking to see if I followed, Aro glided gracefully towards the couches. I had no choice but to trail in his wake, as the gathered group of vampires parted soundlessly to let us pass. At one couch, he turned and gestured for me to sit, taking a seat that faced me. "So, Isabella, what a surprise! We really had no conception that our newest visitor could be a vampire! You do not seem very old, so it must be _such _an interesting tale." He looked at me expectantly.

_This is not someone accustomed to being denied what he wants_, I thought. I panicked internally, not having really thought about the fact that the Volturi would be very interested in where I came from. _Stupid, stupid, Bella_, I chided myself. I knew I couldn't expose the wolves, so I made a swift decision. "Oh, not such an interesting tale," I smiled, "I was attacked by a vampire, but saved by Carlisle Cullen. He spoke highly of you, so I wanted to come and meet you for myself." Thank god I couldn't sweat.

Aro gave me a slightly bemused look. "How ... fascinating. And how is dear Carlisle? He was always partial to saving humans, so I'm not surprised that he allowed you to turn. Where is he living now? I can tell by your eyes that he's imbued you with that ridiculous notion of avoiding human blood. You won't find any of those needless restrictions here."

My mind scrambled to keep the story close to the truth and simple enough that I wouldn't expose myself. "He's actually traveling right now, so I'm not sure where he is. He checks in on me at college from time to time." I was proud of my ability to keep any bitterness out of my voice.

"Indeed? And what does he think of your decision to come here?"

"He thought it was a good idea for me to meet other vampires, so I would have a better understanding of our kind." I desperately hoped my explanation would be plausible enough for Aro.

After regarding me for a few moments, Aro leaned over and grasped my hand between his, that same flash of consternation flickering across his countenance. He slowly raised my hand to his lips, and brushed a kiss across my knuckles. I felt like a deer confronted by a predator: frozen, unable to react. _You're a predator, too_, I reminded myself. I willed my facial expression to relax, and I smiled in Aro's direction. Before he could speak again, though, there was a sudden commotion in one of the hallways outside. It seemed to be coming from the other side of the room from where I had entered. I heard a tangle of voices in different languages get progressively louder, as if a large group of people was about to come in. Flashbacks of Edwin's warnings blazed through my mind, and I fought the reaction to panic.

"Ah, I wish we could speak further, Bella, but we're about to have dinner, it seems." Aro smiled at me, then paused, a thought occurring to him, "Of course, you are welcome to stay, but given your long journey, I would not be offended if you want to freshen up." He raised his eyebrows as he waited for my response.

I had a sickening, sinking feeling about what was about to transpire. "You know, I think I would like to settle in, maybe unpack a little." I tried not to rush my words, as I felt an increasing pressure to flee as soon as possible.

Aro turned and snapped his fingers. "Jane dear, please show Isabella to her room." Jane frowned at Aro's command, obviously not pleased about missing the incipient events. She hesitated. "Jane," Aro said more firmly.

Jane huffed a sigh, and said the two words I had been waiting for: "Follow me."

I couldn't do it fast enough.

...

I tried desperately to not think about what was going on in the room I had just left. The slightly sloping floor and center drain had not escaped my attention. To cover up the fading sounds of screaming, I attempted to engage Jane in conversation.

"So, um, how long have you been here in Italy?"

Jane leveled a glance at me like she was sure I had some sort of mental defect. "Since what you refer to as the Dark Ages."

"Oh, you look so ... young," I hedged, "um, that must have been difficult."

"Better than being burned at the stake," she deadpanned, turning her gaze forward again.

This was so far out of my scope of normal conversation that I was at a loss as how to continue any small talk. I remembered what Edward had said about most vampires having gifts; Jane was so diminutive and unremarkable, I wondered what hers might be. _I wonder if it's considered bad etiquette to ask such things_, I mused.

We walked in silence through several hallways until arriving at a smaller wooden door. Jane pulled a large metal key out of her pocket and unlocked the room. She stopped and turned, blocking the the opening. "Aro will want to see you later. Do you remember how to get back to the receiving room?" Weirdly enough, our silent walk and my attempts to block out the horrors behind me had meant that I was paying much closer attention to the twists and turns of the building.

"Yes."

"Good." With no further ado, Jane darted out of sight.

After taking plenty of time to survey my new room (I had tapestries of a less bloody nature than the hallway and no windows) and unpack a little, I returned to the room where I had talked to Aro. I was relieved to see no trace of "dinner" left anywhere. The scent of blood was just slightly stronger than it had been.

"Ah, Isabella!" Aro exclaimed from across the room, "so lovely to see you again. Please, let us talk."

I met him over at the same couches from earlier, and hoped this conversation would not have the same type of interruption.

With a gleam in his eye, Aro began, "Well, this is not how one of these visits normally commences. In fact, had you been human, we should never have even met face-to-face. However, your ... status ... means that you are welcome to join our little group here if you wish. I will of course communicate nothing but the highest praise to your school," he paused and eyed me speculatively, "if, of course, returning is something you desire to do."

This invitation to join the Volturi clan so soon was a surprise, and made me wonder if this was how they treated all visiting vampires. I pulled on every modicum of politeness to come up with a slightly stilted but hopefully non-offensive response. "Aro, thank you, you flatter me with your invitation, and perhaps in the future I will take you up on it. However, I am quite set on finishing college. My interest in your art collection was not just a means to an end. I would actually love to study the pieces that you have here. I am particularly interested in the works of Solimena."

While displaying slight disappointment at my desire to return to school, Aro seemed pleased with my true interest in his art collection. "But, of course you may study it. I am happy to encounter another who will truly appreciate what I have built. In fact, I believe I have some works that have not been looked upon in quite awhile that you might find interesting. I will make all the proper introductions tomorrow." Aro stood and glided away, leaving me alone on the couch until a rather large and intimidating-looking vampire sidled up next to me, slightly invading my personal space. When I turned to look at him, he grinned and winked at me, to my surprise.

"So rare to see a new face here. And such a pretty one, too." He smirked. "I'm Felix."

"Isabella ... uh, Bella, actually."

"Well, Isabella-uh-Bella, tell me about yourself and how you ended up in our corner of the world."

"Oh, nothing really interesting. I'm here on study-abroad from Dartmouth to, um, study Aro's art collection."

"Wait ... you're a student?" Felix let out a bellowing laugh. "Why would you subject yourself to that? I can't imagine sitting around a bunch of young humans for fun without a meal involved in the process. And you actually let humans tell you what to do? And you do it?" He shook his head bemusedly. "Wow. Just, wow. But you knew you were coming here to us, right?"

"Yes, I did, somewhat. It was, well, a happy coincidence, I guess."

"Or, perhaps, fate," he grinned, winking at me again.

Felix's easy smile was infectious, and I found myself smiling tentatively back. "So, Felix, tell me about you - what do you do here?"

"I'm a member of the guard. An enforcer, you could say."

I glanced at his huge stature, "I guess I could see that."

Felix made a hurt face, "Ouch. You guess? Just wait, you'll see me in action sooner or later. Speaking of later, how about I take you on a tour of Volterra in a little while? I'm an excellent tour guide, I promise. Or, if you want to see some action ..." He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"Down, boy," Jane's flat voice cut through our conversation, "Aro wants you to patrol with Dimitri. Now."

To my surprise, Felix nodded respectfully in the diminutive girl's direction, "That's my cue, I suppose. See you around, Bella." With a final wink, Felix hopped off the couch and followed another vampire through the main doors.

"Is he always like that?" I blurted out.

A ghost of a smile flitted across Jane's face. "Oh, that's Felix on his best behavior."

I shook my head slowly in amazement.

Jane continued, "Aro wanted me to make sure you were aware of the rules. You have full access to this building, excluding private quarters. You can go anywhere in the town as well, although you must never reveal your true nature to the human population. I guess you have already mastered that, though," she added with an appraising look, "If you do somehow make them aware of you or of us, though, know that we do not tolerate that at all. Period. Trust me, you do not want to meet Felix under those circumstances." I nodded at this, and she continued, "Hunting is not allowed in the town except for what we bring in." She glanced with somewhat morbid curiosity at my eyes, "Aro tells me that you have a ... different ... diet, though. So, no eating the town cats or dogs. There's plenty of wildlife in the surrounding countryside, I suppose," she finished distastefully.

"Understood," I said in a clipped voice.

"Aro will meet you here tomorrow at noon to introduce you to his curatorial staff."

"Isn't that a bit early?" I questioned.

"The art collection is stored in another wing of this building. You won't be going outside." With that, Jane turned on her heel and walked away.

I decided to go for a walk myself, since I felt somewhat on-the-spot in a room full of the Volturi and their entourage. Following the path I had taken upon arrival, I stepped out into the crisp air of the late evening. I wandered around town a little, thinking about Edwin's story. From what I had already seen, he was lucky to have survived it. It cast a sinister pallor upon what would have seemed a quaint and charming Medieval town. As I walked along a side street, I spotted Felix and Dimitri moving silently down an adjoining street in matching gray cloaks. I could see Felix's grin as he spotted me. Giving a small nod of acknowledgement in his direction, I headed for the outer walls, knowing he and Dimitri would remain inside the city. I needed some space to think ... and run.

Once outside the city, I broke into a jog, moving swiftly through the darkened countryside. It was truly beautiful in the moonlight. I stopped on a hilltop, sitting underneath the sprawling branches of an olive tree. The sounds of the night-time animals that had gone silent at my approach slowly began to multiply their chittering chorus the longer that I stayed still. _What a day_, I thought, _this is some kind of culture shock, alright_. I was glad that I would only be here a few months; I hadn't realized how much I appreciated the freedom of living with the wolves, however different they might be from myself. I laid back on the ground, marveling at the infinite multitude of stars that tracked their path across the heavens in subtle washes of color. I started tracing out shapes into my own custom constellations. There! A wolf running. And there! A figure, relaxed on the ground, reaching out. I took a deep breath, and away from everyone and everything, let myself feel the pain that was still tightly penned up inside of me. I tried to take comfort from the feel of the earth under my back. Somewhere on this planet, Edward was touching the same earth. It bound us together, even across this great distance, and from that I gained a small sliver of relief.


	12. Lessons

Chapter 12: Lessons

True to his word, the next day Aro introduced me to the manager of his art collection. He had an entirely separate human staff to deal with the art, which seemed to be a legitimate public enterprise. I could tell that they knew something was odd about their employer, but I wasn't sure if they knew the full extent of the truth. So, remembering Jane's warning, I was careful not to say anything that could be remotely incriminating.

To my delight, Aro did indeed pull out a Solimena painting that was heretofore unknown to the public. For all his niceties, though, I still felt very wary around him, as I was sure there was another side to Aro that I just hadn't seen yet. When I contacted my advisor back at Dartmouth to tell her about the new painting I had found, her excitement was palpable, as was her shock that I had managed to easily score such a boon. I tried not to laugh at that last part, since 'easy' was not exactly the term I would have used, considering the chain of events that had led me to Italy.

For the next couple of weeks, my schedule remained pretty much the same: I worked in the art collection during the day, helping digitally catalog and document work for their archives, as well as take notes on the new painting. As soon as the sun went down, I would go for a walk around town, where Felix often "happened" to run into me, much to his amusement and my chagrin. He was a shameless flirt, but his open and engaging nature meant he was becoming the closest thing that I had to a friend in this place. Jane, on the other hand, was an enigma. I had hoped that she and I would become friendly, at least, but I rarely saw her talking to anyone except her brother. The rest of the vampires always displayed a trace of fear in their body language when she was around. It was baffling. In the late evening/early morning hours, I would go for a run around the countryside, hunting when necessary. This was my favorite part of the day, when I felt free and unobserved.

I stayed out of that main receiving room as much as possible, only occasionally being called in so Aro could ostensibly check in with me. He often not-so-subtly tried to get me to acquiesce to staying in Italy instead of returning to school; I became quite adept at politely (I hoped) turning down his invitations. It bothered me that I couldn't figure out his intentions, whether I was special somehow, or if he had just taken a fancy to me for some reason. While I still couldn't quite pinpoint the source of my unease, either option did not seem very appealing.

So, a couple of weeks in, it was no surprise that my early evening people-watching was interrupted by Felix's muscular form sliding into the seat next to me at the outdoor cafe. I had chosen a small table on the fringes, and was sitting mostly in shadow, my chair leaned up against a wall, the rough stone pressing into my back. An untouched cup of espresso sat on the table in front of me, next to a book that I was reading. With his customary grin and wink, he picked up the book and started thrumming through the pages.

"_World War Z_? Don't tell me you're into zombies," he prodded.

I rolled my eyes and drawled, "If you're so offended by zombies, there are plenty of other people in this town you could annoy." I couldn't stop the small smile that ghosted across my lips as I spoke, though. Our banter typically revolved around Felix's teasing attempts at conversation, which were usually rebuffed by my usual sarcastic responses.

"Oh, but you know how much I love spending time with you, my dear Isabella!" he said, imitating Aro's flowery style of address. I snorted, trying to suppress a laugh.

All of a sudden, a thought occurred to me: "Wait - zombies don't actually exist, do they?"

Felix laughed loudly, startling the people at the surrounding tables and causing one man in particular to knock over his glass of water in surprise. Then his face got serious, and he spoke in a low, urgent tone, "Of course there are!"

I turned to him in disbelief, as he added "... and they ride unicorns across rainbows to visit the leprechauns on Atlantis!" He snickered uncontrollably. I smacked the solid wall of his arm in response. It was too bad that vampires and wolves didn't get along, because I knew in my heart that Felix and Jacob would have been the best of friends, supernatural crap notwithstanding. There was no way I was breaking the confidence of the pack back home, though, which meant that there was no way Felix and Jake would actually meet. Or, so I hoped. It was an entertaining thought, though.

"Come on, cut me some slack! It's not like I grew up around _this _stuff," I said as I gestured towards both him and myself.

"Nope, no zombies, fairies, unicorns, werewolves, etcetera," he replied, still chuckling.

I paused for a moment at his mention of werewolves, but quickly smothered my reaction. I decided a change of topic was in order, and realized that I was intensely curious about Felix's past, although I hadn't had the nerve to ask him about yet. I wasn't sure if we were quite at that level of intimacy, since most of our teasing exchanges were pretty light-hearted, but I asked anyway. "So, were you a fighter, you know, _before_?"

He sobered slightly. "Yes, I was. I grew up very poor, and would compete in local fights for money. It was the only thing I was good enough at to afford my survival." Felix gazed blankly into the shadows beyond the cafe's ring of light and became uncharacteristically silent.

I was surprised by his suddenly melancholy expression. "I find it hard to believe that's the only thing you're good at," I said consolingly, and then groaned as the implications of my words sunk in. Felix's face split into the widest grin I'd ever seen. "Well, dear Isabella, perhaps you could be the judge of that!"

"Argh! That's not what I meant, and you know it!" I ground out. I struggled to bring the conversation back on track, as I became distracted by the predatory gleam that had appeared in Felix's eye. "Would you teach me to fight?" I asked suddenly.

Felix's expression sobered quickly, and he looked at me intently. "Why? Is there someone you need to fight?"

Disturbed by his sudden change, I tried to lighten the mood once more. "Well, _you_, actually, if you keep bugging me. Really, though, it's not something that I could have ever done when I was human, but now, I don't know - it seems like it could be a good skill to have. I'd like to try, at least."

His gaze was still serious, although not quite as much as before. "Whatever my lady wishes," he replied with a slight smile, "How about tomorrow night after I return from patrol? I'll stop by your room."

Even though this would cut into my "me" time, upon further reflection, I thought my spur of the moment idea was good. I had started to become more accustomed to seeing myself as an alpha predator, but the sheer number of other vampires here made me reassess what I would actually be able to do if I were attacked by more than one vampire at a time. I wasn't ready to say anything about Victoria, either, since I would have to come up with a story that didn't involve the pack. Plus, there was still so much I didn't understand about vampire culture, and this would give me an opportunity to ask questions more informally.

"Sounds good to me," I replied, "Thanks."

"It's a date, then," Felix winked as he stood up. In the darkness across the street, I could just make out the shadowy form of Dimitri, his body language indicating obvious annoyance at Felix's unauthorized detour.

"It most certainly is not," I muttered, to answering laughter from Felix's retreating form.

...

Late the next night, Felix knocked on my door. When I answered, he stuck his head inside, unashamedly looking around at my mostly untouched living area. "Hmpf. Not exactly what I would've expected for an American girl's room," he said.

"I'm only here for a couple of months!" I replied, "It's not like I'm moving in!"

"And that is entirely too bad," he responded, looking appreciatively at the leggings and snug shirt that I was wearing in preparation for our training session. "Come on, then, warrior woman."

I followed Felix through the winding corridors into another part of the building that I had never been to before. Honestly, I had done very little exploring inside, as I decided that whatever secrets this place held, I'd rather it kept them. Eventually, he ducked into a surprisingly modern exercise room that had all sorts of intimidating-looking weaponry lining the walls. My eyes must have been huge, because with a grin he said, "Don't worry, I save the broadswords for the second lesson."

I laughed uneasily, wondering if I had just made a huge mistake. Picking up on my uncertainty, Felix continued, "You'll do fine. Don't worry. I'm going to teach you some martial arts techniques, and get you more in touch with your body and reading the body language of others." He stopped at the center of the mat that was in the middle of the room.

"Now, you're a vampire ..." he began.

"Thanks, Captain Obvious," I interjected.

Ignoring my interruption, he continued, "You're fast and strong - much, much stronger than a human. So, you shouldn't have to worry about humans for the most part. However, other vampires are another matter entirely. You have to assume that your opponents are faster and stronger than you are ... so, you need to outsmart them. There are certain schools of martial arts that specialize in using your opponent's size and speed against them, which is where we are going to start. First, though, let's see how fast you are." He motioned me in towards him, until we were only a couple feet away, facing each other. The difference in our size was never more apparent, as I felt completely dwarfed by Felix's massive strength. I briefly wondered if even Emmett would be able to give Felix a run for his money. "Now, I'm going to swing at you slowly, and I want you to stop my arms like this," he said as he moved my arm up in a blocking position.

"Oh, like the Karate Kid," I said suddenly.

Felix shook his head in exasperation and said, "If that's how you need to remember it, then, yes, but good lord, Bella - please take this seriously. Okay, let's do a couple in slow motion, so you can get the form down correctly. Then we'll speed up."

The rest of that evening followed the same pattern: Felix showing me a martial arts-based blocking technique, starting slowly, and then getting faster and faster, until our movements would have barely registered as a flicker for mortal eyes. I was amazed that for all of his strength, Felix was extremely agile, which made him an intimidating combination of speed and force. I fervently hoped I would never have to meet him on the opposite side of a real fight. I was also pleasantly surprised at how good of a teacher he was: he was patient and kept the inappropriate flirtatious comments to a minimum, which kept me from becoming too self-conscious. Apparently, Felix took his role as instructor pretty seriously. Instead of assuming that I would be clumsy and fail, he was determined that I would get it right, and sure enough, after a lot of practice, I did. At the end of the session, he turned back to me. "Good, you're decently fast. Not the fastest vampire I've seen, but you'll get faster. Next time we'll start working on throws."

Invigorated by my new self-defense knowledge, I joked, "What, no broadswords?"

With a sly look, Felix gave me his trademark grin and wink, "Oh, we'll just have to see how the evening goes."

Feeling lighter than I had in a long time, I winked back at him and murmured, "Well, then, I'll be looking forward to it." I laughed at Felix's surprised expression that I had actually teased him in return.

"See you later!" I said over my shoulder as I breezed out of the room.

...

So, my new schedule now included training with Felix about three times a week, more often when he was free. He had Volturi duties that kept him occupied on other days - what they were, I didn't ask. I began looking forward to our training sessions, as they were the one time of day when I thought of nothing except where my arm, or leg, or body should be. As I become more comfortable, I even had flashes of wondering what Edward would have thought if he could see me. Most likely, he would have thrown himself in between Felix and myself, and tried to protect me. The thought made me somewhat angry, as I again imagined it as a manifestation of his mistrust in my ability to do anything on my own, and I fought harder in response. Jacob, surprisingly, was a fan of this training, although he had some reservations about the vampire I was learning from. I think he could hear in my voice how much more confident and relaxed I had become, however, and that was good enough for him to encourage me to continue.

I also found myself spending quite a bit of time with Felix outside of our training sessions as well. He was easy to get along with, and made me laugh, which was something I hadn't really done in a long time. There was something disarming about his manner that made me start to lower the walls I had built around myself, and while I still wouldn't reveal much about my past, I felt free to at least be myself, not hiding who or what I was. From the measured glances I would occasionally catch out of the corner of my eye, I think Felix could sense some of the underlying sadness in me, but he never directly asked me about it. Instead, he seemed to take it on as a challenge, doing his best to always make me feel good. As a result, my relationship with him had become the closest friendship that I had, next to my friendship with Jake. It seemed that just as he often happened to run into me while he was on patrol, at other times I would find myself in the vicinity of his rooms, and he was usually there when I knocked.

The first time I saw his living quarters had been shocking for me, as it was totally not what I expected. Instead of some type of "warrior's" room, Felix's walls were peppered with vintage movie posters, and he had the largest flat-screen TV that I had ever seen. "You have a TV?" I cried, "How did I not know this?" I picked up the remote and turned it on, flipping through the channel guide. "Wait - you get American TV channels? How?"

Felix chuckled from his position sprawled across the couch, where he had been watching me freak out over the television with a slight smile on his face. "It's called satellite TV, Bella. Besides, don't you think we can do pretty much whatever we want here? That includes getting TV channels from all over the world. Me? I prefer American TV."

I turned to look at him, my eyes narrowing, "So, Mister holding-out-on-Bella-with-the-TV, what do you like to watch?"

He grinned in response, "All sorts of things. Old movies, reality shows, _American Ninja Warrior_, the History Channel - you'd be surprised how much they get wrong on that."

"You seriously watch reality TV?" I responded, latching on to the most unbelievable part of his previous statement. "Why? Aren't humans just food to you?"

Felix regarded me thoughtfully. "I know your feelings on humans, Bella, and in a way, I respect your decision to not, ah, indulge. The enjoyment I get from watching them make fools of themselves on those shows, though, only solidifies my belief that we are actually doing the world a favor by making them our food source."

I sputtered, "So, you're using reality TV to justify eating people?"

Felix shot me an unrepentant grin. "Yes, ma'am," he drawled out.

"Unbelievable," I muttered.

"Also, it keeps me up to date on the newest lingo. You know, since we do occasionally have to interact with the human world."

"Lingo?" I laughed incredulously, "Good luck with that."

I continued my inspection around the room, my gaze coming to rest on the largest collection of DVDs that I had ever seen. For a second, I had a flashback to Edward's room, with all of his CD cases lined up against the wall. I started browsing through the titles, my fingers absently trailing along the cases. I paused over one film, pulling it from the stack. "Aha!" I exclaimed, "I knew it!" I turned around triumphantly, holding up the copy of _The Karate Kid_.

Felix laughed, "Wait, wait. That is NOT where I get my training ideas!"

"Uh huh," I said, unconvinced. Laughing under my breath, I turned back towards the rows of DVD cases again. All of a sudden, I felt Felix's presence behind me. "Want to watch something?" he murmured in my ear, "Just pick one out." Choosing to ignore his nearness and the unexpected confusion it caused, I started looking more intently, finally settling on one that I hadn't seen in a long time.

Felix raised his eyebrows at my choice, "_E.T._? Is this a favorite of yours?"

"It's about finding your way out of isolation," I said softly, "I get it."

Felix gave me a long look, but didn't comment. Finally, he took the DVD from me and put it in the player, and we settled on the couch to watch the movie.

...

After several more weeks of training, Felix decided that I knew enough to actually spar with him. I knew he would be holding back significantly, but I still felt a sense of pride that he thought I was good enough to even make the attempt. It was with surprise, though, that I saw both Jane and Dimitri in the training room when I went down that night.

"Wait, why do we have an audience?" I blurted out as soon as I saw the three of them talking. Their conversation stopped, and Jane and Dimitri both turned towards me. "Felix won't shut up about you," Dimitri drawled with a half-smile, "so I thought I'd come and see what the fuss was about. He threatened me with death if I interrupted before now, though."

"I'm bored," Jane replied flatly, "This should be pretty good." I had a feeling she meant watching me get my ass kicked by Felix.

"Have you ever fought against Felix?" I asked her curiously. Felix and Dimitri quickly glanced at each other, and Jane responded with a smirk on her face, "I guess you could say that."

"What?" I said in confusion, "Am I missing something?"

"Jane's talent makes her almost impossible to beat in a fight," Felix responded.

"Really? How does that work?" I said, looking at her diminutive form more critically.

Jane glanced at Felix hopefully, who sighed after a moment and said, "Okay, but only for a second. I need her functional."

"Wait - what's going on?" I said nervously.

"Jane's going to do a brief demonstration. That's the best way for you to understand what she can do." Felix said, looking at me with a little bit of concern and pity.

I tried not to panic as I waited for Jane to do whatever horrible thing she was capable of. I knew that whatever her skill was, it was why the other vampires regarded her with respect and fear. I couldn't even imagine why that might be, and that scared me more than anything else.

A moment passed, then another. Finally, I couldn't take it any longer. "Just DO it!" I yelled, my eyes scrunched up in anticipation.

Another moment passed. I opened my eyes to see Felix and Dimitri looking at each other and Jane in shock. Jane was looking at me, obviously unnerved by something.

"WHAT IS GOING ON?" I yelled in frustration, glancing between the three of them, unable to take it any longer.

"Well," Felix's voice cut through the answering silence, "it looks like you're the one person that Jane can't hurt."

"Wait - so you were trying this whole time?" I said to Jane in confusion.

"Yes," she responded in a clipped fashion. Before I could say anything else, she turned and walked out of the room, slamming the door shut behind her.

There was a moment of silence, then Dimitri began quietly laughing. "Oh, that was priceless. Did you see the look on her face? I'm so glad I was here to witness that. Bella, you might be my new favorite person."

Felix was just looking at me with an unreadable expression. "Aro is going to want to know about this."

"Is it really that important? Do you have to tell him?" I said nervously.

"Yeah, it kind of is, and I can't not tell him" he responded, a somewhat regretful look on his face. "Jane is able to make people feel enormous amounts of pain - it's only mental, but it's just as debilitating as if it were physical. She's our greatest weapon." He added after a beat, "You're the first person we've seen who has been immune to her power. We didn't think that was possible."

I wasn't really sure how to respond to that, even though it was obviously a big deal. "So, does that mean our sparring match is off?" I asked, unsure.

Felix's face relaxed into his trademark grin, "Oh, no, you don't get off that easily! C'mon, we'll worry about Aro later. Let's do this."

We faced each other on the mat, and Felix gave me a short bow, which I returned. We began circling each other, as Dimitri retreated to the edge of the room.

"So, what's your secret superpower?" I asked Felix, unable to contain my curiosity.

"Focus, Bella," was all he replied, before diving for my legs. I leapt at the last moment, flipping over his head and landing in a graceful crouch.

"Good," Felix said. He came at me again, both arms extended to grab me, and at the last moment I seized his arm while twisting my body past him, flipping him over onto his back with a large crash.

"Good thing these floors were built to last," remarked Dimitri with a chuckle.

I let Felix up, and we started circling each other again. This time, when Felix launched himself at me, I leapt on to his back in an attempt to vault over him. Almost faster than I could see, he twisted and grabbed my legs, slamming me down onto the mat face first. Grabbing my arm and twisting it behind my back, he pressed his body on top of mine, holding me right at the edge of pain. "My talent is my fighting skill," he murmured in my ear, "You're going to have to be faster than that if you want to even have a chance."

"Fine," I bit out, trying to ignore the disturbing sensations that Felix's weight pressed against my back was eliciting. "Get off of me."

Felix chuckled in an entirely masculine way, but let me get back to my feet. I rubbed my shoulder absently, waiting for his next move.

"Try it again," he said.

"Oh, you'd love that -" I interjected.

He smiled and went on, "This time, don't pause at all; remember, keep it one fluid movement. Focus, get angry - whatever it takes, and don't hold back."

As we circled again, I pictured Edward in Felix's stead. I let all my frustration and anger rise up within me, and I tried to focus it into what I was doing. Felix started to move towards me, but I was already in motion. This time as I leapt over him, I twisted and caught his neck with my legs, pulling him backwards to the ground. Before I could get a better hold on him, he flipped over and grabbed my legs, yanking me under him and pressing his arm across my throat. I promptly kneed him where I knew it would hurt the most, which elicited a cheer from Dimitri. In the few milliseconds that Felix was stunned, I slid out from underneath him and latched onto his back, my arm in a choke hold around his neck. The back of Felix's head wavered in my vision between his short cropped black hair and the copper tresses that I knew so well. "Yield!" I yelled angrily. Felix scrambled to get a hold on me, but I was too small and pressed too tightly against him for him to get any real leverage. Emotions crashed over me, and I squeezed tighter, all my rage and frustration coming to the forefront, this fight no longer a game. Sensing the change in me, Felix raised his arms in surrender, and after a beat, I relaxed my grip, sliding to the ground. I slowly tried to let go of the anger that had almost consumed me, coming back to the present moment. Dimitri started clapping slowly.

"Not bad," Felix coughed, "That anger is good, it'll help you stay focused in a fight, but don't let it overwhelm you."

"She's like some kind of psycho spider monkey," Dimitri laughed.

I smiled in return, although inwardly I still felt like punching something. _I hope it's not like this every time we spar_, I thought, _I don't think I could take it_.

"Yeah, Bella's full of surprises tonight," Felix commented mildly. "I think that's enough for now. We'll drill on some of this stuff next time." I could see that he wanted to say something else, but glanced briefly at Dimitri and remained silent. I knew he had felt how uncontrolled my anger had been at the end, but was playing it off for Dimitri's sake. While I appreciated his protectiveness, I really wasn't in the mood for discussing what had happened, so I decided to get out of there before Dimitri left and Felix had a chance to corner me about it.

I quickly gathered up my things, throwing out a hurried goodbye over my shoulder. I left the room before he or Dimitri had a chance to respond, and ghosted my way up the stairs and out of the building, disappearing into the shadows. Even after fighting like that, I decided to go for a run, maybe to hunt, as I still felt really keyed up. Picturing fighting Edward had flooded me with emotion; I couldn't just turn it off.

I took a circuitous route through back alleys, keeping well out of the light. As I passed close to the main gate into the city, though, I crossed a scent that was somehow familiar, causing me to stop cold. Without thought, I turned and began tracking, following this oddly familiar scent back towards the Volturi clock tower. Just as it came into view, I saw a small figure standing at the massive front door, a glowing silhouette against the dark void of its carved surface. Before my mind even processed what I was doing, I called out:

"ALICE!"


	13. Visitors

Chapter 13: Visitors

She slowly turned around. "Bella?" I could hear the disbelief in her voice. "Are you ... okay?"

I was numb. _You're in shock, Bella_, my mind chided, _It's freaking _Alice. _Talk to her!_ I was afraid if I spoke again, though, she would fracture and disappear like a shattered dream. "Alice?" I inquired again, softer this time, "is that really you?"

As soon as I started talking, Alice hurriedly crossed the distance between us. I could see the agitation on her face as she approached. She looked around nervously, and grabbed my hand, pulling me back in the direction of the city gate. "I can see we have a lot to talk about," she said in low rapid tones.

My brain and body finally caught up with one another, and I turned towards her, "I know a quiet place that we can go."

We made our way outside the city walls, and ran the somewhat short distance to my favorite olive tree, that I had taken to sitting under most nights to watch the stars. When I stopped, she broke away and faced me. Her pixie face was still frozen in a mask of shock as she exclaimed, "Bella, holy shit!", right as I cried, "Alice, what are you doing here?" and she replied with, "What are YOU doing here? I thought you were really hurt, maybe dead!"

"What?" I replied, confused, "When?"

"I saw it!" she cried, "I've seen nothing of you for months and months, then all of a sudden, I had multiple visions of you in a nasty fight with a giant vampire with short black hair. I saw him slam you into the ground! I busted my ass to get here as fast as I could to save you, even though I knew I would most likely be too late."

"Oh," I said in a more subdued fashion, "that was Felix. He's teaching me to fight."

"It didn't look like a friendly fight to me, but then again, it all happened so fast - I, I couldn't even tell that you had been changed!" Alice exclaimed, visibly upset, her eyes darting over my face, my body, the changes that were now obviously apparent.

The reality of the situation caught up with me. "Alice, no offense, but why are you even here, anyway? You guys made it really clear that you wanted nothing to do with me ever again!" I couldn't disguise the pain in my voice as I spoke.

"That freaking idiot," Alice muttered, "Look, Bella, I never wanted to leave. None of us did, except for Edward." I felt a flash of pain across my chest at this statement, as she continued, "He was so convinced that you were going to get hurt because of him. He couldn't take it, and was making the rest of us so completely miserable, that we eventually let him have his way. It was stupid and wrong of us, and I'm so sorry. Even sorrier, now that I see what happened to you. Please, like I said, I haven't been able to see you in my visions for such a long time, and I've been looking! You have to tell me what happened! And why are you here with the Volturi, of all people? Don't you know how dangerous they are?"

So many feelings were coursing through me, having never really settled after my fight with Felix. Joy, rage, sadness, confusion - it was like a roulette wheel of emotion, and I wasn't sure where the ball was going to stop.

"Does Edward know you're here?" I asked.

"No. He's been ...off... places. I told Jasper where I was going, but not why. He's the only one who knows where I am."

"Well, when you guys left, I was broken. Charlie thought he was going to have to send me to a mental hospital for awhile, because I wouldn't do anything except sit in a chair and stare out the window. He was afraid I was catatonic." My voice trailed off as I stared off into space, shivering as I remembered the trauma of those days. "I feel bad about it now, because I know that scared him a lot. I finally began at least go through the motions of living like a normal person, but it wasn't long before Victoria started poking around again. She was super-pissed about Edward killing her mate James, so she thought she'd kill me in retaliation. Ironically, Edward would have never known."

Alice had the grace to look horrified, so I continued, "Anyway, I was under the protection of the Quileute pack, but she managed to weasel her way in during Harry Clearwater's funeral, while everyone else was occupied. She meant to kill me, but only succeeded in biting me before the wolves showed up and chased her off. Then, I had the fun experience of changing into a vampire." I paused for a moment, "I know you guys don't really get along with the wolves - Jacob Black told me about your history with them - but they saved me, in more ways than one. They basically adopted me, helped me hide what I was from Charlie, taught me how to hunt, kept me from hurting humans. They became my family - in the same way I had hoped you would be."

Alice still looked incredibly upset, but didn't interrupt. "Miracle of miracles, I got into Dartmouth. By that time, I was functional enough to go back to school, at least. Then one day, I walk into the Art Museum, and BAM, I see a Solimena painting of Carlisle. I can't even tell you what that was like. After some digging, I found out the painting came from Aro's collection, and he had some sort of relationship with the school. I remembered what your family said about the Volturi, but they were the only other vampires that I knew of. Anyway, I ended up coming here on a study-abroad deal. Officially, I'm working with the curator of Aro's art collection."

"Oh, Bella - why didn't you look for us? We would have helped you! Edward would have been there in a second, if he had known!"

"I highly doubt that," I said, "You weren't there when he spoke to me that last time."

"I'm going to kill that boy," she furiously muttered under her breath.

"Plus, I had no idea where you went. I was trying to move on, and couldn't put myself through the emotionally masochistic task of trying to actually look you up! I could barely get through the day as it was!"

"Edward is going to be so upset he hasn't found Victoria yet. That's actually what he's been doing: trying to track her."

"Well, he's sure doing a bang-up job of it," I said bitterly, "Next time you talk to him, tell him not to worry about it anymore."

"True, she'd have a much harder time hurting you now."

I laughed, an ugly sound. "That's the understatement of the century. Victoria's dead."

"What?" Alice cried, "When? How?!" Her eyes wide, she grasped both of my upper arms and stared straight at me, shaking me slightly. "How did I not see this?!" she exclaimed.

"Don't ask me. It's just as well. I came home for Christmas break, and I killed her. The wolves helped. It was therapeutic."

Alice tilted her head and looked at me like she'd never truly seen me before. A minute passed, then another. Then she spoke softly, "Bella, I'm so sorry. Really, for more than I can say. Edward has so underestimated you, and the only reason I'm not tracking him down to kill him now is that I know that he will feel even worse when he finds this out."

"If he finds this out," I amended.

"WHEN he finds this out." Alice responded. "He was never 'over' you. In fact, he loved you so much that he was terrified of losing you. Which, ironically, lead him to the ridiculous conclusion that he should leave you in order to protect you. I don't know exactly what he said to you, but I can see it was suitably awful. Just know, if you ever find it in your heart to forgive him, he was doing in a most misguided fashion what he thought was best."

"Exactly - what HE thought was best. It would have helped if he had bothered to clue me in!" I exclaimed. "How about I get a say in my own life, huh?!"

"Look, you get no argument from me. He's an idiot of epic proportions. But an idiot who loves you. Just ... remember that, if you can." She continued, "But wait, then what exactly was it that I saw that brought me here?"

"Oh, that was Felix, one of the Volturi enforcers -"

Alice interrupted, "I love how you say that so nonchalantly."

"Well, they have actually been nothing but decent to me since I've been here," I said, instinctively jumping to Felix's defense. "Anyway, after the whole thing with killing Victoria, I realized that I knew absolutely nothing about fighting. So, Felix seemed like a good person to ask. I've learned a lot." I debated about telling Alice that Felix was the closest friend that I had there, but then decided against it. _If it's important, she'll see it anyway_, I thought.

"Bella, the Volturi are dangerous - you have no idea what they're capable of!"

"I know they are dangerous, I'm not that naive. Aro keeps hinting that he wants me to stay here instead of going back to school. He's getting more and more insistent, but luckily, I only have a few weeks left before I return."

"If he really wants you, he'll get you," Alice said, "You've met Jane, right?"

I couldn't help the smirk that crossed my face, "She was the first vampire I met here, actually. If you're worried about her 'talent', though, you shouldn't be. She tried to use it on me earlier tonight -" Alice gasped at this statement "-but, as we all quickly discovered, I'm immune."

"You're what?!" Alice exclaimed, then became pensive for a moment. "Wait a minute. Edward couldn't read your mind, Jane's mental powers don't work on you ... maybe you're immune to mental powers in general," she mused.

"Maybe that's part of the reason Aro wants me to stay," I said quietly, "but how would he know that?"

"Aro has a gift similar to Edward's," Alice replied, "Carlisle has talked about it in the past. Aro can see every thought you've ever had when he is in physical contact with you."

I remembered the look of consternation on Aro's face each time he had taken my hand, and then I had a brief moment of intense thankfulness that he couldn't read my thoughts. The idea of exposing the pack, Edwin, the Cullens, was horrific. "Well, that explains some things, at least."

"Be careful, Bella. Carlisle also has said that Aro "collects" vampires with rare gifts. If he knows what you are, he'll want you, too."

"I'm doing my best to put him off. I actually want to finish college. But doesn't that also mean that he'll want you, too? And Edward?"

"If he knew I was here and what I could do, then yes, he would definitely want me, too. But I made that decision when I came here to get you," she finished firmly.

"Well, he hasn't seen you yet," I replied slowly, slightly mollified by her intended sacrifice, "So, you can leave with no one the wiser." _Except me_. My heart hurt as I contemplated losing Alice almost immediately after she had reappeared in my life.

My thoughts must have been apparent on my face, because Alice reached over and hugged me. "Don't worry, Bella. I'm not going to disappear again. I don't care what those other idiots think about it either. You're my friend, and so I'm making the decisions from now on."

I was cheered slightly by her confident tone. "But Alice, you can't stay here. I'll worry about you if I know you're in danger from Aro and the rest of the Volturi. You have to go home - I'll be back in the States shortly. Where is home now, anyway?" I added.

Alice laughed, her musical tinkle a welcoming sound. "Oh, you'll love this. We're in Albany."

"Upstate New York!" I exclaimed, "But that's ... that's ..."

"... so close to where you are, I know!" Alice chirped happily, a broad smile on her face. "We were always meant to find each other again, I think. When you get back, we'll have to go shopping in the city. It's ah-mazing."

I laughed, "Oh my god, I can only imagine you in New York City. I'm sure you give the city a run for its money."

"When are you back? I'll set up a welcome-home party! Carlisle and Esme will be over the moon. So will Emmett, actually."

I paused. I was so happy to see Alice, so glad that we had cleared the air, but I wasn't sure that I was ready to see any of the rest of the Cullens.

Alice picked up on my hesitation, "Don't worry, I wouldn't spring Edward on you like that. I don't even know where he is - he only checks in from time to time. He asked me not to look for him, and I've been doing my best to oblige."

"I don't know, Alice. Maybe not when I first get back; I'll have too much prep to do for my spring classes." I said, "But maybe you could come and visit me for a couple of days?"

"I would love that," Alice squealed, hugging me tightly.

"You can tell Carlisle and Esme what I've been up to, though. And Jasper, Rose, and Emmett. That's fine with me. Just ... don't tell Edward, okay? If he wants to find me again, I want it to be because he _wants _to, not because he feels guilty about something that's happened to me."

"Now, I think you're underestimating him," she replied, "but I understand why you feel that way."

"I still can't believe you're actually here," I said suddenly.

"I'm really, really glad that I am, Bella." We looked at each other for a moment, smiling.

I turned and sat under the tree, and for a little while, Alice joined me in companionable silence. We spent the last few hours of the evening talking about any and everything. Alice made me laugh with stories about Emmett's and Jasper's latest antics, and I told her a little about my time at school so far, although I tried to keep it light-hearted. We traded email addresses, which more than anything assured me that this was not a one-time deal. When the first pink streaks of dawn began to lighten the eastern sky, she stood up and brushed the grass from her skirt.

"I guess you should go," I said reluctantly, pushing myself upright. "Thanks for coming all the way to Italy for a one-night sleepover."

"Anything for a friend, Bella." Alice hugged me tightly. "Next time, though, you can meet me in Milan, and we'll go shopping!"

"Sounds good. Tell everyone I said hello, and that I'm sure I will see them soon."

"I will. Good luck, Bella ... Be careful!" Alice yelled as she headed off, "Email me when you get home!"

"I will," I replied, truly happy for the first time in what seemed like forever as I turned back towards Volterra.


	14. Options

Chapter 14: Options

To say Alice's visit had shocked me would have been putting it mildly. Very mildly. My mind raced as it replayed every word, every facial expression that she had made, over and over again. I was dying to call Jacob, but I had no idea what I'd say to him. I knew he'd be upset, no matter what. As far as he was concerned, the Cullens had lost any right to be in my life when they walked out of it the first time. I knew I'd have to tell him, but I thought I'd wait until I was back at school. Maybe by then I'd have something planned out.

Alice was back in my life, and I'm sure the rest of the Cullens would be as well, if I let them. But what about Edward? She made it sound like Edward still loved me, but she hadn't exactly been spending a lot of time with him recently, either. I still couldn't get over the fact that he had left me in the woods that day, that he'd told me he felt nothing for me. _That _made the most sense to me, not what Alice was saying. The thought that Edward had done it all for my protection, though, sparked a slow burning rage inside of me. _What the hell?_ I kept repeating to myself, _Who DOES that to someone that they love?_ Even if it were true, and Edward did indeed love me, I had serious reservations about whether I would be able to forgive him any time soon. I'd always love him, but that wouldn't mean I could just _be _with him, that I could forgive and forget.

A little later in the morning, I was so preoccupied as I headed towards the art collection that I apparently reverted to my old, clumsy human self, bouncing off Felix ungracefully before I noticed he had planted himself in my path. I glanced up, reflexively smiling at the hint of humor in his gaze.

"Really? You didn't see me there?" he laughed, as I muttered a quick apology.

"Well, you know, you're kind of a waif ..."

Felix's eyebrows raised, and I squeaked as he suddenly swept me off my feet, throwing me over his shoulder, and began walking down the hall. My attempts to get him to put me down were pretty ineffectual, since I could barely stop laughing enough to protest what was going on, and I knew that my half-hearted pounding on his back wasn't much of a deterrent.

"Where are we going?" I yelped, as my head narrowly missed a stone column for the second time.

"You mean, where am I taking you?"

"Yeah ... that."

"Oh, I don't know. You make a nice accessory - I was thinking I'd just keep you like this today."

"Nooooo," I laughed, "You have to put me down."

"Or else what?"

"Or else ... uh ... crap. I don't have anything to threaten you with!" I gave an overly dramatic sigh, its impact somewhat undercut by the fact that I was basically upside-down. "I _guess _you win."

"Well, you've acknowledged my superiority; I _guess _I can let you down." As Felix's face came back into view, I couldn't help but chuckle at his huge smirk. I turned around, and realized that we were in front of Felix's door. I should have recognized where we were going, but I had never been there in reverse before.

"Felix, I have to go to work -" I began.

"Come in for a second. You think the human staff is going to get mad at you? It's not like they can fire you."

I couldn't really argue with his logic, and I knew that I'd probably still be too distracted to do a good job at work right now anyway. I followed him inside, and we took our usual spots on the couch: Felix sprawled across one end, and me tucked into the other corner. Today, though, after I sat down, Felix scooted over until he was almost in my space, throwing one arm over the back of the couch, and turning his whole body so that he faced in my direction. He looked at me seriously.

"Bella, I wanted to talk to you last night, but you took off before I got a chance." Felix paused. "Listen, you did a good job last night, but I could tell there was something wrong. You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

I was surprised at his candor, and momentarily speechless. Serious conversations were not usually our norm, and I wasn't sure how to respond. I blurted out the first thing that came to mind, unfortunately. "But if I tell you, then Aro will know!"

Felix's gaze hardened, and he leaned in slightly. "What do you mean, exactly?"

"I mean ..." _Oh shit._ How was I supposed to explain that I knew what Aro's gift was? No one had ever mentioned it to me, other than Alice. "I overheard someone talking about Aro's gift. He touches you and knows what you're thinking, right? So, that means, like, no privacy?"

His expression relaxed infinitesimally. "It's more than that, actually. He can see everything that you've ever thought. But he tends not to read those of us who have been with him a long time. I think seeing that much at once is overwhelming, so he's usually looking for something specific when he does it. He knows that if he uses it on us too much, we might be less inclined to stick around."

"But still ... aren't you bothered by that?" I couldn't imagine living under that kind of control.

"I used to be, but I got over it. We have it pretty good here, and Aro, Caius, and Marcus keep everything running smoothly. I'm paid well, my friends are here, and every now and again, a pretty girl stumbles into my path. I can't complain." His lips twitched into a small smile.

I was suddenly very aware of how close Felix and I were sitting, and the moment that I realized it, I could tell that he knew. I glanced away, nonplussed, and when I looked at Felix again, he had a dangerous glint in his eye. Very slowly, he moved his other arm from where it had been resting on his leg and started lightly tracing a pattern on my knee, which was folded between us. I was motionless, the sensation overpowering. Felix's voice was low, hypnotic. "So, what's wrong, Bella? I mean it, you can tell me. You can trust me. I would never hurt you."

That last sentence is what jarred me back into reality, the confused miasma of my thoughts pulling me under again. Edward had promised that same thing, and look what happened. _You're not being fair_, some part of my subconscious argued, but I knew that I couldn't do this now, not with Felix. He must have seen the pain flash across my face, because he stopped tracing to squeeze my knee gently. "Bella ... Bella, come back. It's okay."

I stood up abruptly, crossing my arms across my chest. "I ... I have to go," I stammered. If I were human, I would have been blushing furiously. I was stonewalling, and I expected Felix to call me on it, but he just leaned back into the couch, and looked at me thoughtfully. "Okay, but I'm not giving up on you just yet. Fair warning."

"Thanks," I whispered, surprised yet again when he jumped up and pulled me into a tight hug. I froze for a second, both arms pinned to my chest by his sudden move, but then, fraction by fraction, I relaxed. I felt Felix's lips brush the top of my head, then he released me. "Have fun with the humans," he teased, giving me a little push out the door.

I turned back to look at him once I stepped into the hallway. "Felix ...," I trailed off, not sure what I was trying to say.

"I'll see you later, Bella." His smile followed me until I stepped out of sight.

...

I wasn't at work more than an hour before I received a summons from Aro. I was glad for a break from insanity brewing in my head, which had only become more intense with the addition of my conversation with Felix. Turning back to matters at hand, I realized that I should be more nervous about Aro's reaction to my newly discovered immunity. I headed to the tower reception room, hoping for the best ... whatever that might be.

"My dear Isabella," Aro's voice rang out from across the room, "Please join us." I glanced across the room and saw Felix watching my entrance, an blank expression on his face. He smiled slightly and winked when he noticed me watching him. I moved through the usual crowd of vampires until I was standing next to Aro and two other vampires that I had often seen him in discussion with.

"You remember Caius and Marcus, my dear?" Aro inquired politely.

"Um, yes, hello." I nodded slightly in their direction. Felix had been the one to explain the hierarchy within the Volturi, but I had never interacted with the other two vampires in the ruling triumvirate.

"We have heard _such _an interesting tale from Jane," he continued, "Indeed, we found it very difficult to believe, until we spoke to Felix as well, and he confirmed the story, much to our surprise! You have been holding out on us, Isabella." Aro looked at me reproachfully, an assumed mask of hurt across his features. His tone was still friendly, but with an unmistakable sharp undercurrent.

_Careful, careful, Bella._ I figured that playing dumb was my best bet, considering it wasn't too far off from the truth. "No, no, Aro, not at all! I had no idea that I was immune to Jane before yesterday. In fact, I'm still not sure what I can do, or what it means."

Aro watched my face closely as I spoke, trying to discern, I assumed, whether I was telling the truth. "So, you say, my dear. Perhaps you have been ignorant. I, on the other hand, knew almost from the moment that you joined our little group that you had quite a formidable power. Your immunity to Jane just cements my original assumption." Aro paused for a moment, then lowered his voice slightly, as if he were telling me a secret. "You see, my special gift is mental. When I touch most people, I can see every thought they have ever had. It's quite ... fascinating. However, when I touch you," - he reached out and took my hand between his own to punctuate his point - "I see nothing. The first experience of meeting you was quite shocking, as I'm sure you can imagine."

I did not have to feign surprise when Aro acknowledged his own failure in reading my thoughts. "I've never been around other vampires with talents like you and Jane," I responded, "There was no way for me to know what I could do." Inwardly, I was still slightly confused, because I had just considered the fact that Alice's talent was also mental, yet she had been able to see me. I'd have to think on it more later.

"Indeed," said Aro, thoughtfully, "You can see how your skill set would make you a valuable member of our group. While we have found no one more powerful than Jane, and she is a _most _loyal companion, it would be incredibly useful to have someone who could resist such a power, if the occasion ever presented itself." I glanced across the room at Jane, who looked like she was ready to murder me. _I guess I've just made my first enemy here. Let's hope it ends with her._

Turning back towards Aro, I nodded, dread settling in my gut.

"So, we would be honored if you would join us, Isabella. You would be well taken care of, and an integral member of our group. Felix, in particular, expressed a great desire that you stay with us," he said with a knowing smile. "This is quite an honor, you know. We are very selective in whom we choose."

I glanced at Caius and Marcus. While Caius was giving me a level stare, Marcus seemed to be focused on something just over my shoulder, an expression of complete disinterest on his face. Aro, meanwhile, was almost vibrating in his intensity as he waited for my response.

I carefully weighed my words before speaking, knowing I would have to handle this very delicately. I tried to channel my most formal self, knowing that I probably just sounded weird and stilted. _When in doubt, Bella, kiss ass_, my mind offered up helpfully.

"Aro, Caius, Marcus," I acknowleged each in turn, "thank you for this great honor. I have greatly appreciated the hospitality and kindness you have shown to me during my short stay here. I ask your patience, though. I'm a new vampire, would like to see the world. I would ask your indulgence in letting me return to school, and grant me some time to travel before I settle in a single place."

Aro sighed gently, "I was afraid you would say something like that. Caius was quite insistent that you stay, convinced you would see the benefits in remaining here after a time. Marcus was in agreement. I, however, have always felt that the best relationships are those founded on trust, happiness, and free will. I would not imprison you here, but instead would prefer to entice you to stay of your own volition. So, I will grant your request -" Caius grunted in disgust at this statement, "- with the fervent hope that you will, in time, return to us. In any case, know that we will be looking out for you, wherever you might end up. We shall _always _have a vested interest in your future successes."

I recognized his last statement for the veiled threat that it was, and vowed that I would remain vigilant about exposing those that I loved to the Volturi's attention. Nodding in respect, I said, "Thank you for understanding. I will not forget the honor of your invitation, and I hope to return one day." _... like, in about a thousand years_, I finished mentally.

"Indeed," Aro replied, a small smile curling the corners of his mouth, "I know you will not forget us." Turning away from me to conference with Marcus and Caius again, I considered myself summarily dismissed, although Caius's steely eyes followed me as I turned to leave. _And not a moment too soon_, I thought gratefully. I tried to catch Felix's eye on the way out, but he seemed focused on whatever Aro, Marcus, and Caius were discussing.

After I was back in the hallway, heading back to the art collection, I huffed out the breath that I didn't realize I had been holding. I was somewhat surprised that Aro had let me go. After thinking about it for awhile, I came to a startling conclusion. Without Jane, Aro had very little leverage against me. I had managed to keep him cut off from my thoughts - and therefore knowledge of my friends and family, or anything else he could use against me. At least, for the moment. Maybe he was just unprepared for this situation, but I was not going to dismiss his resourcefulness. For the moment, though, it looked like physical restraint would be the only way he could actually keep me here, and I was too much of an unknown to him for him to want to make me an enemy. I knew it was a fine line that I was walking, between his desire to acquire me, and his knowledge that I could pose a distinct threat. I just hoped I could get out of Volterra before balance was tipped one way or the other.

...

The next day, I got a message from Anna, apologizing that she hadn't come down to visit me in Volterra. With all the insanity over the past few days, I had completely forgotten how much I had been worried that she would spontaneously show up. As much as I would have liked to have seen her, I was secretly relieved that I wouldn't have to guarantee her safety, something I was more concerned about now that Jane seemed to be harboring a grudge against me. Anna expressed an interest in visiting the last weekend before we left for the States, but I told her that I was too swamped with last-minute work to spend much time with her. She acquiesced pretty easily, saying that she'd want all the details of my trip on the flight back home.

That night, I met Felix for usual training session, which was also the first time I was alone with Felix since my meeting with Aro. I had seen him in passing a couple of times over the past day, but whenever I tried to make eye contact, he would look away. The feeling that something was wrong did not sit well with me, so I entered the room with some trepidation. This evening, I was met by a shirtless Felix was sitting cross-legged in the center of the mat, focused on me as I came in. I stopped in the doorway, and he continued gazing at me, expressionless.

"What? Why are you staring at me?" I moved into the room, uncomfortable with the intense attention.

"You turned them down," he said after a beat.

"Turned who - oh," I said, as I realized whom he was referring to, "Well, yeah, I mean, you couldn't just expect me to drop everything and stay?" I paused, gauging his expression, "Could you?"

"I was hoping you would," he said quietly, "I guess that makes me a fool."

His open admission made my chest tighten uncomfortably. "Felix," I said gently, "I have a life back in the States. I know that might not mean a whole lot to you, but it does to me. My family and friends are still living, they still know me. I can't give up what little time I have left with them."

His expression became even more remote. "Is that all? Or is there _someone _waiting for you as well?"

_A week ago_, I thought, _I would have answered you with an emphatic 'no'_._ But now ... _I wasn't sure how to answer. Alice's visit had thrown everything that I thought was certain up in the air. I remained silent.

"Well, that's answer enough," he said suddenly, standing up and assuming a ready stance, "Come on, let's get to work."

Surprised by his ability to drop the topic so swiftly, I murmured my assent, and walked across the mat to face him. Without warning, he dove for my legs, and choking out a startled cry, I jumped at the last second, barely escaping his grasping arms. I landed ungainfully on his other side.

"What the hell, Felix?" I sputtered out, "I thought we were just doing drills again."

"You have to be prepared for anything, at any time" he returned, spinning as he did so. I yelped as he pulled me to the mat again, turning me so he was on top, the hard planes of his chest pressed against mine, his arms locking me in place. I knew he was holding me in a way where I could have broken free if I really wanted to, but the intensity of his gaze held me motionless. "Bella," he said urgently, his eyes pleading with me, "Stay. Stay with me. Please. What can I do to convince you to stay?"

The anguish underlying Felix's tone did not leave me unaffected; sorrow laced my reply."Felix, believe me, if it were that easy, I would. But I can't." It occurred to me at that moment that in some parallel universe, in another life, I could see myself here with Felix. He was funny and smart, and I didn't doubt his feelings for me. I cared about him, too, I realized. Maybe even enough to stay. To my chagrin, though, in this moment I knew that I still loved Edward more, and would never be truly happy until I saw him again, until I figured out what was going on between the two of us.

"Please ... I just found you," he whispered, lowering his lips to mine. His kiss started gently at first, then became more insistent, more possessive. I was surprised at how warm his lips felt against my own. For the first instant, I froze completely, then with equal shock, started kissing him back. This was the first time I had kissed anyone as a vampire, and the sensations coursing through me were unreal, almost overwhelming. One of his hands slid behind my head, knotting itself in my hair. Without thinking, I raised one hand and gently clasped the side of his face, as he made a guttural noise of satisfaction. For a brief moment, a future with Felix in Italy flashed before my eyes. I felt his other hand start to trace its way sinuously down my side, slowly working underneath the exercise top that I was wearing. I gasped slightly at the unexpected heat that flooded through me, which startled me back into the here and now. I broke off the kiss, using one hand to push Felix back slightly. He tensed as I spoke, "Felix, I can't. I just ... can't. Please don't do this."

"You want me," he objected, "I can feel it."

"Felix," I whispered, desperately searching for anything that would make him give me enough room to clear my head, "there _is _someone else." Saying it out loud made me realize how much truth was behind that simple statement.

With a noise of anger and frustration, Felix abruptly got up, leaving me breathless on the the ground. Turning from me, he bit out, "Don't think I haven't seen the pain in your eyes when you think I'm not looking. I know someone must've put that there. How you can choose that, choose _him _over me - someone who cares about you and would never hurt you - I'll never understand." He paused for a moment, turning to give me one last piercing glance. I could see the truth of everything he had just said burning in his eyes, but I still couldn't give him the answer he wanted. "We're done here," he finished, and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

I stayed there on the mat for a little while, stunned, the sound of the slammed door reverberating through my head. _I want to go home_, I realized, feeling drained and emotionally in over my head. I slowly pushed up to my feet.

_This would be a hell of a story for Anna_, was my last thought as I made my way back up to my room.


End file.
